


A Night of Strip Poker

by desocupado



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Card Games, Dare, Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, First Time, Implied/Referenced Underage, Multi, POV Female Character, POV Second Person, Poker, Strip Games, Strip Poker, Strip Tease, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2018-09-07 08:14:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 36
Words: 52,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8790298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desocupado/pseuds/desocupado
Summary: Roxy and Vriska have pulled people into their devious game of strip poker, with the help of spiked punch and hormonal curiosity. Indecency, awkwardness and cheeky dares are sure to result!





	1. The Game Begins (Hand 1-4)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story on AOOO, happy to be here. All of the outcomes in the story were randomized, including pairings, hands (played them out) and who got which dares, so I never knew where it was going and just tried to react organically to what happened. Feedback and critique would be greatly appreciated!
> 
> This story was inspired by SideAnon and undeadclown's excellent Strip Pokerstuck stories, and I've gotten the thumbs up from undeadclown to proceed with this shameless rip-off/homage to that much better story. I hope you enjoy!

You are ROXY LALONDE, and you are extremely pleased with yourself for setting this game in motion.

You are teamed with VRISKA SERKET, your partner-in-crime behind wheedling everyone into this evening's activities, helped along by some peer pressure, excellent arm-twisting and some fantastic manipulation skills. You may also have helped a bottle of vodka fall into the punch earlier, which could certainly make people more amenable to a bit of risque ribaldry than they might otherwise have been willing to admit, but you can neither confirm nor deny that this is definitely what you did.

To your left, in a circle, sit KARKAT VANTAS and JADE HARLEY, the troll looking assiduously frustrated and flustered and clearly containing his blush, the human looking slightly apprehensive but also eager; NEPETA LEIJON & JANE CROCKER, both looking a bit shy and blushing every time they look at their respective crushes; DAVE STRIDER and FEFERI PEIXES, one trying his hardest not to look interested, the other with a big eager smile on her face; JOHN EGBERT & KANAYA MARYAM, looking adorably awkward; TEREZI PYROPE & JAKE ENGLISH, the former flashing a wide fangy grin and the latter, handsome as ever but looking quite bemused; ARADIA MEGIDO and your... daughter? Mom? daughtermom ROSE LALONDE, looking around the room with detached curiosity.

"Alright Roxanne," grumbles Karkat, "You've managed to drag us all into this fucking stupid nonsensical human debauchery entertainment, how long are you going to make us wait?"

"Eager, Karkles?" Terezi teases, causing Karkat to get even more flustered.

"Let's go over the rules," you begin. "The pair with the lowest hand each round has to lose an item of clothing."

"Their partner has to remove it!" Vriska chips in slyly. "LOVE IT!" you gush.

"If the losing hand is under a pair, two items of clothing instead," you continue. "The winner each round picks a penalty card. If the penalty card is in the winning hand, the winners can force another team to give up an item of clothing. If not... whoever is holding it has to lose something."

"And this is just... like, shoes and socks and such, right?" Jane asks nervously, glancing between Jake and John. They're all so cute when they're being awkward, you just want to squeeze them! And maybe if things go well... save that for later, though. You wink at your friend. "We'll see!"

"That's enough time wasted!" Vriska grabs the deck of cards. "First penalty card will be..."

"Why do you get to pick?" Karkat grumbles.

"Oh I'm sorry Vantas," she fires back, "I thought we explained that WINNERS get to do that. Eight of spades."

You see the other trolls rolling their eyes. No surprises there, it seems. Vriska starts to deal. Everyone looks at their hands and starts whispering with their partners. Karkat looks angry and confused, so Jade takes the cards and trades in two. He looks mollified (but still grumpy, does that kid ever smile?) as they check their new cards. Nepeta and Jane hand over three, wincing as they check the first new card but looking semi-comfortable with the next two. You can hear Feferi asking Dave what makes a good hand; she doesn't seem to notice her voice is carrying. He whispers something and hands over one card, giving a cool-guy nod at what they get back. John hands over three cards, whispering to Kanaya, and looks a bit nervous with what comes back. You note that she looks a bit uncomfortable... maybe she doesn't have the right partner? Terezi is licking the cards, drawing argumentative gestures from Jake, but she smiles and hands over two. She tastes the new cards pensively but doesn't appear satisfied. Rose leans over to whisper to Aradia, who passes three cards over. They look satisfied with what they get back.

Vriska is grinding her teeth looking at your hand. You lean over to see what you've got... wow, that's not a good start. Ace, 9, 7, 5, 3...

"We could hope for a straight," you suggest optimistically, but Vriska hisses and throws four cards away, only keeping the ace. Your new cards are... 10, 9, 4, 2. No help there.

"This is hoofbeast droppings," Vriska growls at you. "We planned this game, we're not supposed to be losing it!"

"Maybe we won't lose this round," you say brightly. Not that it matters much, nothing major is going to be tossed just yet.

Everyone turns over their hands:

Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Kings  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of sixes  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of Jacks  
Kanaya and John have: Ace high, King kicker  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of twos  
Aradia and Rose have: Set of tens - and the penalty card!  
You and Vriska have: Ace high, ten kicker

"This is the worst!" Vriska growls, the others chuckling at her frustration. You give her a long exaggerated sigh. "You may as well help me out of my shoe," you say, sticking your foot in her face. She grabs at it and you playfully swing it out of her grip, forcing her to use two hands. She pops off your shoe and you get one off of her while she's distracted, throwing them both behind the circle.

"Wait a minute," Aradia butts in, "we won the round. And we have the penalty card."

Dave looks over. "I don't want to call anyone a cheater, unless they happen to be you two. I'm just saying, that's all kinds of a Seer-y hand you got yourself there, Lalonde."

Rose looks passive. "It is possible that my latent Seer abilities helped me to discern a more fortunate course of action. I shall make efforts to keep them more suppressed in the future. In the meantime, I believe we do have the penalty card, and I think a shoe is the appropriate remuneration for such a baseless accusation impugning the character of two ladies such as we."

Dave shrugs and puts a foot Feferi's way. She smiles and pries his shoe off, tossing it aside. Jade gathers the cards and begins dealing them out.

"Ace of spades," Aradia calls. That's right, penalty card. You should take more care to remember your own rules.

Nepeta and Jane look relieved with their hand. Nepeta taps a couple of cards for Jane to turn in, and they both smile when they see what they got back. Dave hands in three cards and looks impassive with the results, and you can hear Feferi's loud whisper asking if theirs is a losing hand. He nods slightly. Kanaya yanks the cards out of John's hands and immediately turns in three of them, one of which flips over - aha, she was discarding the Ace of Spades. Looks like someone might need a bit of help loosening up. Jake confidently hands over one card. Aradia and Rose whisper between themselves but don't hand in any cards. Looks like you might be in for a tough round.

You and Vriska are looking at Q J 7 4 2. Vriska hisses again; she's got to work on her poker face, honestly. You do the obvious, throwing away the three low cards, and get back 9 3 2. No help there... looks like you might both be shoeless by the end of the round. All that's left is Karkat and Jade, but they don't look like they're settled either. Karkat is making as though he wants to throw the whole hand away, but Jade takes the cards from him and exchanges three. The troll boy looks mollified as she shows him the new cards and grins. 

"Okay everyone, show 'em!" she calls.

Nepeta and Jane have: Two pair, eights and sixes  
Feferi and Dave have: Ace high, King kicker  
Kanaya and John have: Two pair, tens and sevens  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of nines  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of Queens  
You and Vriska have: Queen high  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Kings

"HaHA!" Karkat cackles victoriously, slamming down the pair of Kings and pointing at Vriska. "You just keep losing at your own stupid game, Serket." She shoots him a venomous glare. "If you were looking for blackrom with my feet, you should have asked earlier," she says to him with mock sweetness, shoving her leg toward you. Off comes the other shoe. She pulls off yours and throws it at him, narrowly missing and drawing more jeers. Vriska is steaming, you can tell. It hasn't been the best start for the two of you.

"So I guess we won, then," John interjects. "Uh... what card do you want to pick?" He looks to Kanaya, who shrugs. "Okay, well then... Jack of Diamonds, maybe?"

Nepeta gathers up the cards and passes them to Jane, who shuffles and starts dealing. Vriska elbows you. "Why did you have to call no powers? We could have gotten everything we wan-" she catches herself, going a bit blue in the cheeks, "we could have been winning this easily." You sigh, knowing you could argue that Dave and Jade have just as much trickery, if not moreso, to their names. Of course, Vriska would never admit that her fabled luck might be outclassed by such reality-warping shenanigans.

"Let me try this time," Feferi tries to whisper to Dave, who passes the hand over. She turns in three cards, looking pleased with what she gets back as she shows him. John points to a couple of cards, but Kanaya shakes her head nervously, and they don't exchange anything. Jake, bemused, holds out the cards for Terezi to lick, and she grins and whispers to him. They trade three cards. Aradia and Rose confab and then swap a single card. 

You can hear from Vriska's teeth that your hand isn't anything to write home about. "How bad?" you whisper, and she hands them off to you with a grumble. K 9 7 4 3 isn't going to get you places... hmm. You decide to take a bit of a risk and trade four. 9 8 8 5 gets you your first pair of the game. You nudge Vriska. "This should be enough to not lose, at least!" "Yeah, but we're supposed to be winning and using the penalty card!"

Winning may not be an issue; you can see Jade looking dissatisfied with their hand, and Karkat waving and tugging at one card in particular. They toss three cards and Karkat looks extremely sour with what comes back. Looks like your socks might be safe this round. Nepeta and Jade watch the troll boy's display and stand pat with their hand.

"AC says efurrybody show your hand!" 

Feferi and Dave have: Pair of Kings  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of Queens  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of tens  
Aradia and Rose have: Two pair, Jacks and twos  
You and Vriska have: Pair of eights  
Karkat and Jade have: King high - and the penalty card!  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of fours

"I told you we should have thrown away that fucking Jack!" Karkat curses. You and Vriska smile - the trap went off just as hoped, though maybe not where either of you would have liked best. "That's three you owe, Karkat," Vriska sing-songs. Karkat shoots her a glare and goes for his shoe, but Jade stops him.

"Oh COME ON, we're not REALLY going to follow all their stupid rules, are we?" "Uh huh!" Jade nods, grabbing at his shoe. Karkat's eyes widen and he stops fighting long enough for her to pop off both his shoes. "And one of mine," she says, putting a foot in his lap. You fight down a giggle at how awkward Karkat looks as he carefully unlaces her shoe and puts it behind them. Terezi is looking over at them intently, face unreadable behind those red glasses.

"Our turn!" Feferi says brightly as she collects the cards. "Aradia, Rose, you won that round, what is the penalty card?"

Rose ponders. "I suppose my partner did have the privilege last time, so... why not Lewis Carroll's old favorite, the Queen of Hearts?"

"Queen of Hearts it is!" says Feferi, dealing out the hands. As you pick yours up, you note that the Alternian princess was a bit too enthusiastic - you've got six cards in your hand. 

"Oops," she giggles, taking all the cards back. She tries again, getting it right this time.

John can't hide his dorky grin at their hand, but Kanaya doesn't look convinced. John whispers something and she looks over at Rose with a curious expression. What have we here? That could be a fun button to press later on. They toss two cards. Terezi tastes the cards and whispers to Jake, who shakes his head and dramatically tosses three cards. Aradia and Rose hand in four cards, and Aradia shrugs at Rose as they look at their new hand. You notice she hasn't stopped smiling since you started this game.

You and Vriska have a good start with a low pair - J 10 6 6 2. "That deuce can go," you tell your partner, who swaps it for a 9. Not a great improvement, but better than nothing. Karkat is looking annoyed again, and you can hear him grumbling about not getting a choice about his other shoe. Jade takes the decision away from him, swapping two cards and hiding the result from him. This gets him even more irate, and you giggle at his antics as he tries to steal a look at their hand so that he can complain about it. Jane doesn't look happy with their hand, and trades in three cards. Her relieved smile tells you that she's feeling comfortable about what they got back. Finally, Dave and Feferi have their go. Dave seems to be advocating for one thing, while Feferi, with a big smile, is holding the cards and looks like she wants to do just the opposite. She turns in one card and shows the result to Dave, who half-facepalms, turning it into brushing his hand through his hair. Always Mr. Coolkid.

"Alright, let's see 'em," he declares.

Kanaya and John have: Pair of Kings and the penalty card!  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of fives  
Aradia and Rose have: Ace high, King kicker  
You and Vriska have: Pair of sixes  
Karkat and Jade have: Straight, ace high  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of aces  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of sevens

"Oh no," Kanaya facepalms. John looks. "Oh wow, a straight? Good job, Jade!" he tells his ecto-sister.

"Good job?" Karkat complains, "She got lucky!"

"Hey, if you don't like my luck, we could always switch partners," she kids him. Karkat clams up immediately. Even more curious. "Like all of the other options aren't indescribably worse," he tries to cover lamely.

You missed Aradia and Rose removing a shoe each, not that there was anything exciting going on there. John slides a foot toward Kanaya. "I'll take this one, since it was my idea to keep the Queen," he volunteers. "Uh, if you just pull those laces, I can get my foot out."

"Thank you," Kanaya replies stiffly, "I believe I can manage this." She pulls on the laces and gingerly pries off the shoe from his foot, setting it aside. You notice your partner staring at this with a weird intensity. She sees you staring and immediately leans back. 

"This is booooooooring," Vriska complains. "Where's the excitement? People should be all kinds of losing right now."

"It's only been a few hands," you tell her. "Give it time."


	2. This Is Too Slow! (Hand 5-7)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few more articles lost, but not fast enough for the impatient co-conspirators...

"Well, we must be close to the end," Jane opens hopefully. "We've lost quite a few shoes now..."

"Screw shoes," Vriska fires back, "I want to see some SKIN." She leers in no particular direction.

"I'm all for picking up the pace," Terezi contributes as John collects the cards. Jade calls out "Five of diamonds!" as the cards go around the circle.

Terezi smiles as she tastes the cards. Jake listens as she whispers in his ear, looking a bit uneasy at how close she is, then swaps two cards. Rose swaps two cards, showing Aradia the new hand. They look awfully smug. You and Vriska have a pair of twos and rags besides. "Let's just get a new hand," Vriska argues. You shake your head. "Are you in such a rush to lose your socks?" You swap out three cards and get back Q J 10... better kickers, but your hand is still awfully weak. You hope Vriska doesn't get to be right about this.

Karkat takes the cards from Jade, who swipes back one, and trades in four. She gives him a "told-you-so" look. Jane throws away a single card as soon as she is allowed - probably the penalty card. Feferi has gotten better at whispering; she says something to Dave, then swaps three cards, looking happy with what she gets back. Kanaya whispers frantically to John, who looks puzzled. She takes four cards and trades them in, but looks very uncomfortable with the results.

"Alright, I guess show your hands then," John says.

Terezi and Jake have: Pair of Kings, ace kicker  
Aradia and Rose have: Two pair, Kings and Jacks  
You and Vriska have: Pair of twos, Queen kicker  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Queens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of eights  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of aces  
Kanaya and John have: Queen high

"Oh well," John shrugs. "I suppose that's the other shoe then." Kanaya looks uneasy. "Are you okay?" her partner frets. "Cause we can take a break if you - "

"No breaks," Vriska growls. "Shoes."

Kanaya sighs. "Very well, John. Can you please help me with this?" She slides a foot slightly in his direction, tilted upward. You note she isn't wearing socks. Ah. Now you get it - she's at a disadvantage. John, to his credit, gets her shoe off with a minimum of fuss, and she immediately tucks her bare grey foot under herself, hiding it with her skirt. John's other shoe follows in turn.

"I dunno John, it's getting all kinds of shoeless in here. I don't know how all these ladies can contain themselves," Dave snarks. Terezi snorts a laugh as she gathers up the cards, which Jake collects and deals after she flings a few in the wrong directions. 

Rose and Aradia look at their cards, exchanging three. You and Vriska have two pair, and you can tell Vriska thinks this is a winning hand. You swap one card just to be sure, but no full house this time. Karkat throws away four cards, cursing under his breath, but whatever he got back shuts him up fast. Nepeta shows Jane their hand, which they keep. Feferi appears to be getting into the game now; she takes the cards from Dave and swaps one. Kanaya shifts uncomfortably as she looks at her and John's hand, choosing to swap two cards. She settles a bit when she sees the replacements. Terezi is licking her cards an awful lot, while her partner looks extremely confident.

"Well then, let's see who in this gathering has managed to make gin, eh?"

Jane rolls her eyes at him. "This isn't gin, Jake, it's poker."

"Sounds like you've missed the mark then, eh, Janey?"

Aradia and Rose have: Pair of threes, and the penalty card!  
You and Vriska have: Two pair, sixes and twos  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Kings  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Queens  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of eights  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of Queens  
Terezi and Jake have: Straight, ten-high

"We don't lose casually, it seems" Aradia grins as she holds out a leg for Rose to remove her other shoe. "Indeed," her partner muses, "and so it now falls to one of us to be the first to lose a sock." Aradia laughs. "I'll volunteer." Rose obliges and peels off Aradia's right sock, revealing a bare foot with burgundy-painted toenails.

"Let's make trouble with that old scallywag, the King of Clubs" declares Jake. Aradia nods as she begins to deal.

Vriska's incapable of hiding her smirk. You look at the cards and giggle quietly - you were dealt an Ace to Five straight! Vriska is whispering something about her natural luck but you ignore her to see what the others are up to. Jade trades three cards and earns a facepalm from Karkat. Nepeta trades two, smiling like the cat that ate the canary. Feferi frowns slightly as she draws her last card. Kanaya whispers to John, who swaps two. Terezi swaps two as well, which causes Jake to do a double-take - you're not sure he got to see the cards before Terezi started swapping. Rose tosses four cards.

"Show your hands!" Aradia calls brightly.

You and Vriska have: Straight, five-high  
Karkat and Jade have: Ace high, Queen kicker  
Nepeta and Jane have: Two pair, Kings and Queens  
Feferi and Dave have: Queen high  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of sevens  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of Jacks  
Aradia and Rose have: Ace high, King kicker

Some people must be feeling lucky as Feferi and Dave lose a shoe apiece. You begin pondering how to make things move a bit faster. It's your deal...

You whisper to Vriska, "I think I have a plan for how we can pick up the pace a bit."

"If it means we get more fun faster I'm all for it." You wink at her.

"Alright, we've done a full round, so now there's a new rule: unless a player is down to their unmentionables, if in any round nobody is holding the penalty card, then every team has to lose an item of clothing."

Feferi, Terezi and Aradia grin. Dave and Rose appear to be calculating how this affects "strategy." Kanaya is already shaking her head, as is Jane. Jake and John appear uncertain. Maybe it's time for another round of punch...


	3. Picking Up Speed (Hand 8-10)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unlucky hand helps pick up the pace.

Punch break is over, and you're beginning to wonder if that even was a bottle of vodka that you definitely did not spike any punch with. Vriska, impatient as ever, calls "Eight of Diamonds!" and begins dealing immediately.

Karkat isn't grumbling, so he and Jade probably have something half-decent. They trade for two cards. Nepeta and Jane also trade for two, but Jane doesn't look particularly happy with the result. Nepeta just flashes a big cat smile. Maybe she's enjoying the punch. Dave and Feferi argue in whispers for a moment before Dave declares "Going for broke!" and dramatically tosses down a single card, eliciting a giggle from Feferi. Kanaya trades two cards, apparently looking for some additional security, while Jake seems to be following Dave's lead, throwing down one card and declaring "We'll take on all comers with this hand, sure as shooting!" Rose swaps two cards. Vriska doesn't even show you the hand before trading two cards, but you see the two pair and feel good about it.

Karkat and Jade have: Pair of eights  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of fours  
Feferi and Dave have: Queen high, and the penalty card!  
Kanaya and John have: Two pair, aces and nines  
Terezi and Jake have: Jack high  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of Kings  
You and Vriska have: Two pair, tens and sevens

"Alas, it looks like our boisterous gambit did not pay good dividends at close of day, milady," spiels Jake as he leans over to take Terezi's shoe, which she presents, chuckling, as though she were Cinderella. He guides her hand to his own shoe, which she pops off in short order and tosses aside. Karkat glares at her as he ducks the unwitting projectile.

"FUCK OFF WITH THAT, come on Terezi. You know damn well where I'm sitting!"

"Do I now" came the teasing reply. Oh yes, the punch is much better the second time around.

Feferi and Dave are glancing at each other. "Why don't we get ourselves some parity on the missing footwear issue?" the human suggests. Feferi shrugs. "That seems fair." She lets Dave pop off her other shoe. Both of them are now in socks.

"I'm not wriggling around the room collecting these ridiculous human pulp chits. Hand them over," barks Karkat, who deals irritably. "Egbert, tell me what the penalty thing is so we can get on with this." John looks up. "Uh... how about the... two of clubs?"

Jane trades in one card, but looks unsatisfied. Nepeta pats her on the head and tousles her hair. It's basically the most adorable thing you've ever seen. Too bad Janey's still too stressed to enjoy it. Dave trades one card, and ironically brofists Feferi, who seems to struggle with how the gesture is accomplished. John smiles resignedly at the three cards he swapped for, while Kanaya groans. Terezi is happy to sit there and taste her cards some more, while Aradia swaps two. You share your hand with Vriska: J 10 9 8 4. There's only one reasonable move here: out with the 4, in with the... King. Well drat. Oh well, you can afford cold feet if it comes down to it. Jade swaps a single card.

"Turn over your fucking ligneous pulp chits, let's finish this."

Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of fives, ace kicker  
Feferi and Dave have: Set of sixes  
Kanaya and John have: King high, ten kicker, and the penalty card!  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of aces  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of fives, King kicker  
You and Vriska have: Ace high  
Karkat and Jade have: King high, Jack kicker

Kanaya groans again. "I thought for a moment we might have had it..." she trails off glumly. John looks over at Jake and Dave, who both give him a little nod. "So, uh, I think I should get rid of these socks, if you could just help me with those?" Kanaya betrays a fleeting moment of what you think might have been gratitude, which fades to mild dismay as she has to get foot-smell on her hands taking off John's socks. John slips off her other black shoe and Kanaya adjusts so that both of her bare feet are hidden. Vriska looks at the pair very intently now, and you could swear Terezi and Rose are looking over at them as well.

Oh.

That's right. They're out of minor articles now. The next thing to come off...

"Woohoo! John, you're going to be baring it all real soon now!" crows Vriska. John rubs the back of his head, seeming not unlike Jake in awkward mannerism.

"Yeah, my boy over there is all the way across the sock barrier," Dave interjects. "Beware of his plans to blind you with his pale manly torsoflesh the next time he brings the big fail."

That brings a round of chuckles, though not from Kanaya. You can see she's a bit nervous still. Poor muffin! You just want to hold her tight... maybe feel the material of that skirt, it looks extremely comfy.

"Ahem," Feferi coughs, "I think we're going to pick the Queen of Clubs. And it's time for Jane and Nepeta's deal."

"Ooh, AC wants to throw the cards around!" Nepeta sweeps up the cards and starts her deal, which takes a while as some of the cards go stray. Her sharp claws aren't great for deck handling, it seems. Jane takes the rest of the deck from her to give out cards.

Feferi takes two cards, and then John looks at their hand and gulps. He shows it to Kanaya, who looks extremely nervous. Uh oh, it looks like someone found a penalty card... they trade in three, but by the looks on their faces they're probably going to be stuck with it now. Terezi smirks as she tastes the two cards Jake traded for and adds them to the hand. Rose and Aradia swap three, and Vriska, looking supremely annoyed (maybe she hasn't noticed yet), swaps four, earning you a decent pair of Jacks. Jade trades two cards, to Karkat's consternation. Jane looks reasonably happy with her hand, and Nepeta decides not to trade anything.

Is this about to be the start of something beautiful?

 

Feferi and Dave have: Pair of eights  
Kanaya and John have: Ace high, queen kicker, and the penalty card!  
Terezi and Jake have: Two pair, tens and sixes  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of tens  
You and Vriska have: Pair of Jacks  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Kings  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Queens

Kanaya starts to stand up. "Alright, I think that's a good place to end it."

"Oh no you don't, fussy fangs," Vriska jeers. "It's only just about to get interesting. And I don't remember you complaining so much earlier when I told you exactly what we were doing."

A few heads turn to look at Kanaya at that. Jane quickly pipes up, "I don't know, I think this is a decent time to close it out," and Karkat is alternately agreeing and furiously averting his eyes. Terezi has a huge grin on her face, Feferi and Aradia look exceptionally curious, and you...

...you really want to see where this goes if it keeps running.


	4. Let's See Some Skin (Hand 11-13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first major articles are lost, and dares get added to the game.

"Okay, well, I can do two things, and Kanaya, I mean... I know it's kind of different, since you're wearing, you know... well anyway, let's just go ahead and we're probably out of the game next time we would lose, right?" John babbles. Vriska looks over to you with something akin to panic dancing in her eyes. No, you silently reassure your partner-in-crime, that's not how this story ends. You have a plan...

"You know," says Rose conversationally, "there is a tactical advantage to be had by the first players to lose a major article. The penalty card is no longer a threat to them, and in fact can be put to use against the rest of the field via discarding. It is worth considering." She's got her eyes fixed on the team about to disrobe.

Kanaya is looking back toward Rose and Aradia, unreadable. Finally, she moves behind John, who stands. "Very well, John. Let us proceed according to your plan. May I remove your garments?" The straightforward question seems to stun John, who just "uhhs" for several seconds before finally nodding. Kanaya reaches to the hem of his shirt and pulls it up slowly, causing John to try and pull his arms into the sleeves. You catch a great deal of pale but surprisingly fit man-torso coming into view, followed (as Kanaya extricates her partner) by lean but firm arms and surprisingly nice shoulders for a boy his age. John isn't ripped, but he is unexpectedly wiry and naturally broad across the chest and shoulder area. With a regular workout, he could be... goddamn. You can definitely see the resemblance between him and Jake now.

Vriska exhales deeply beside you. This was the whole point of her joining in on this scheme, to see John Egbert in the altogether. He's not quite there yet, but as Kanaya takes the hem of his pants in hand, you can pick up the subtle changes in Vriska's demeanor that suggest alien biology isn't all that different from humans after all. Kanaya pulls down on the waist of John's pants, exposing light blue boxer shorts with a slight bulge at the front. A very fascinating bulge.

"Is that the human boy thing?" whispers Vriska. You nod. "It doesn't look like what the book said..."

"It will," you promise. John trips over his lowered pants and Kanaya has to help him unravel himself. Then it's time for something special - the first girl to lose a major article in this game. You expected she'd go for the shirt, but Kanaya signals to John to unbuckle the long red skirt she's never seen without. He takes it in hand surprisingly gently and carefully unwraps it so that it gathers upward into his hands. As it unwraps, you get an eyeful of long, slender and shapely grey legs, leading up to a flash of jade fabric you'd like to get a bit more acquainted with. As John bends over to set the skirt down gently, showing a surprisingly firm backside, Kanaya drops back to a sitting position and attempts to stretch her shirt so as to give her a bit more modesty.

John sits back down beside her, down to just his underwear. It's time for the next part of the plan.

"I think we should make things more fair for John and Kanaya," you say cheekily. "It's time to add in dares!"

"Spiffing!" Jake approves obliviously. Terezi flashes a wide grin. You pass out paper and pencils.

"Everyone write down a dare and put it in this jar. No specific names, just to be fair. When someone would lose their underwear, they can save it with a dare - but only once per undie!" 

Vriska is already cackling as she writes hers down. You note more than a few contemplative faces and surreptitious glances at others as those around you decide what they want to put in. Your own idea is a simple bit of icebreaking... via makeouts, of course. In it goes, next to Karkat's (he finished first? Innnnteresting!), and soon the rest follow.

Feferi deals out the cards. Terezi calls out "Ten of diamonds!" Jake looks at her quizzically. "What?" she asks. "It tastes nice."

You're sneaking glances at John and Kanaya. John looks like he's trying not to be awkward, but Kanaya is working hard to show as little skin as possible. It's incredibly cute. She also seems to be trying to sneak looks at Rose and Vriska. Rose, for her part, has definitely seen you observing everyone else. You haven't caught her looking at John and Kanaya yet, but you do notice that every so often there's a head movement right when you're about to check...

John leans over to show Kanaya their cards. They whisper briefly, then John trades four. Kanaya looks less stressed with what they get back. Jake drums his heels on the ground and holds the cards over to Terezi for her to taste, which she does with a sharklike grin. They swap nothing. Uh oh... Rose swaps three cards. You and Vriska have... A J 10 8 5. "Let's do two," you tell her, tossing the low ones. She looks like she wants to protest - what is she up to? You get back an ace and a ten, which gives you a very high two pair. Karkat is glaring at the cards again, and the three he swaps for don't seem to improve his mood. Nepeta and Jane trade three. Finally, Feferi trades three cards. Her smile is hard to read.

"Let's see what everyone caught!" she chirps.

Kanaya and John have: Pair of Jacks  
Terezi and Jake have: Two pair, Kings and fours, and the penalty card!  
Aradia and Rose have: Ace high, Queen kicker  
You and Vriska have: Two pair, aces and tens  
Karkat and Jade have: King high  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Queens  
Feferi and Dave have: Set of threes

"Goddammit!" Vriska yells. "How did we not win with aces up?"

"Why?" you ask slyly. "Does it matter?" Secretly, of course, you know it does - at least for your own dare. You wonder what she wrote...

"Un-fucking-believable," Karkat complains as he unties Jade's other shoe. "Learn how to deal, Peixes." Feferi shoots him a big, wide-eyed grin. 

"The state of my hand seems to suggest that I have learned! And am an expert, too!" she giggles. Karkat glowers. Dave brofists his partner again, more successfully this time. "It's the Strider Training Method, bro. My natural expertise overflows wherever I go."

"Well I'll be horsewhipped. We didn't win either," Jake ponders. "Ah well. Rules of the game. If you could help me with this shoe here..." Terezi unties it for him.

"So many manly stockings showing!" you tease. "It's enough to fluster a girl!" Of course, that's not entirely untrue, as Jane certainly appears interested in the sudden shoelessness of Jake English. Hold on, best buddy, we'll get you there yet. You and Vriska, meanwhile, are openly ogling all kinds of Egbert as he collects the cards. Is it hot in here? You get another cup of punch to cool down with.

"Wait, what was the penalty card?" Vriska asks. Oh crap, you weren't listening. A slight blush in her cheeks suggests that neither was she. "Five of spades," Dave volunteers helpfully.

Jake doesn't trade any cards, and Aradia trades in only one. Confident customers, you see. What do you have...? Hm. You show Vriska: K 10 6 5 2. She snatches all but the King and throws them away. "We should have kept the ten," you tell her. Your new cards are... 4 A 4 5. Not a great pair. Jade and Karkat trade two cards, Nepeta tosses two, Dave trades four, and Kanaya points to two for John to replace.

Terezi and Jake have: Pair of nines  
Aradia and Rose have: Two pair, Queens and tens  
You and Vriska have: Pair of fours  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of fives  
Nepeta and Jane have: Ace high, King kicker  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of threes  
Kanaya and John have: Set of Jacks

"Wait!" Jane says frantically, "where's the five of spades?" Vriska shoots you a look. Oh right. That was in your hand.

"Oops," she volunteers. It was bound to happen eventually. Everyone groans.

"Hey, I guess there's a bright side to me being in my underwear," John says.

"More than one!" you crack, earning a few laughs and a blush from John.

Nepeta and Jane lost the round, but both still have everything they started with. Each one gives up a shoe, and after a quick round of rock-paper-scissors Nepeta throws in her other one. Aradia takes off one of Rose's white socks, exposing a pale foot. Vriska grumbles but offers up her sock for you to take, since it was her mistake. You unroll the black sock and see her toes roll up, unused to the cold air. Jade pulls off one of Karkat's socks to throw on the pile, and Feferi offers up one of hers for Dave to remove. You notice she's got webbing between her toes. It's kind of cute. Terezi loses her other shoe, leaving Jane as the only one with a shoe remaining.

Jake starts dealing the cards, as John calls "Nine of clubs!"

Rose frowns at the two cards she gets and shows Aradia, who smiles and shrugs. You and Vriska have A Q J 4 2. Throw the two low ones, and you get...nothing. 8 6. Crap. Jade takes two, Jane and Nepeta take two, and so far nobody seems happy with their hand, really. Feferi looks like she's about to throw some cards until Dave whispers to her, and they end up not trading. Kanaya looks satisfied with her three new cards, at least. Terezi throws three.

"Time to find out who the loser is," she says slyly.

Aradia and Rose have: King high, ten kicker  
You and Vriska have: Ace high  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of sevens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Ace high, and the penalty card!  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of sevens  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of Jacks  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of fours

"Oh dear," Jane looks flustered as Nepeta paws at her shoe, trying to remove it. Aradia and Rose smile and remove each other's remaining socks, but daughtermom looks a bit nervous now that she's out of minor articles. The next thing they lose will matter. You see Kanaya sneaking a glance at Rose as John brings her a new cup of punch.


	5. The First Dare (Hand 14-15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first dare is done, and more players run out of minor articles.

It's Rose's turn to deal, which she does with great efficiency as Kanaya names the queen of diamonds. You and Vriska are looking at a pair of sevens with K 2 3. "We've got to win," Vriska whispers as you toss two cards. The 4 and 5 you get back won't be much help there. Karkat trades two, and he and Jade seem happy with their hand. Nepeta and Jane also trade two. Dave and Feferi follow suit, and Kanaya does likewise, looking unhappily at what she's got. Terezi throws away her whole hand to Jake's surprise. Aradia and Rose trade nothing.

"Let's see where we stand," offers Rose.

You and Vriska have: Pair of sevens  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Kings  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Queens, and the penalty card!  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of Jacks  
Kanaya and John have: King high  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of fives  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of aces

"Time for you to do a dare," Vriska looks at Kanaya and John. "Oh this'll be good!" John reaches for the jar, but Kanaya stops him.

"No, John, you should save it until it really matters. You have given up twice as much clothing as me already. It's only fair..." she hesitates. John nods, looking a bit dumbstruck. Kanaya sits up, legs folded, giving you a better look at her jade panties, and John gets behind her. Gently, he lifts her shirt from both sides, revealing inch after inch of flat, smooth grey skin until finally a jade-colored bra with full cups comes into view. It's a very conservative style that doesn't show much, but it's covered in lace and you can definitely make out Kanaya's small but perky breasts. Next to you Vriska is motionless, her gaze totally fixed. Dave and Jake seem to be looking but not trying to look, while Karkat has his gaze totally averted. This time you do catch Rose looking... as well as Jade, Aradia, good lord what's gotten into everyone?

Besides the punch. That one was totally your fault.

The silence breaks with laughter as John and Kanaya fall over, her sweater caught on her hooklike horn. Rubbing his head, John sits up and manages to extricate Kanaya after a bit of a struggle, leaving her sitting in her underthings, fully on display for a moment. Then she curls up, trying to hide as much as she can. The slender but shapely legs are matched by her arms and the graceful curve of her torso shows that she's going to have a dynamite figure in a few years. Already she looks well on the way to being a model. Strangely, she seems a bit less tense now, yellow eyes flashing time and again to where Rose is sitting. John seems to be squirming around a bit.

Vriska shakes the dare jar. "That's all very nice, but you lost with less than a pair. You owe two! So unless one of you wants to just get it all out in the open..." she teases.

John nods. "I'll go." He reaches in and pulls out a slip of paper. "Huh? Oh..."

Vriska looks eager. "Well? Tell us!"

John clears his throat. "It says: 'Keep this card. Your partner has to put their hand on the item of clothing you saved. If the hand slips off, it has to go back on, but this time underneath. Play like this until you win a hand or lose what they're touching.'" Kanaya looks pale. John has goosebumps now. Vriska whistles and Aradia, Terezi and Rose look impressed. It's Dave who pipes up first though.

"Damn, folks, who came up with that one?" A giggle to his side sells out the troll princess herself. Feferi is beaming with pride and there's a devious glint in her eye. "Seriously?" Dave turns to look at her. "Man, I thought you were the innocent one. The fuck else are you hiding in that fishlady brain?" Feferi bats her eyelashes at him, the grin unchanging. "Wouldn't you glub to know?"

"Okay, well... I guess just put your hand there on my leg... yeah." John is getting even more awkward. Kanaya seems to be caught between trying not to look at where her hand is and trying to make sure it doesn't slip off. John gulps audibly. Vriska looks envious as she laughs. "Well it's definitely interesting now!" Rose has an unreadable expression.

It's your deal again, so Vriska gathers up the cards. She seems a bit distracted, so you take them and deal. Aradia calls "ten of hearts" for the penalty card.

Karkat looks satisfied with his hand, that can't be good. Jade trades in one card. Nepeta and Jane sit tight with their hand. Feferi looks mildly disappointed with her three new cards, while Kanaya looks relieved as John shows her their hand and swaps for just one, making sure her hand doesn't come off his boxers. Terezi and Jake swap two, as do Rose and Aradia, and you..

Wow. You side-eye Vriska, wondering if she cheated somehow, but her intent gaze hasn't wandered once from where Kanaya's fingers are dangerously close to John's manly elements. You tilt your head a bit and your eyes widen as you think you see a twitch from inside those shorts, John blushing furiously all the while. Anyway. You've managed to deal yourself a full house, so let's keep that!

"Show 'em!"

Karkat and Jade have: Two pairs, sixes and fours  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Queens, yet again  
Feferi and Dave have: King high, and the penalty card!  
Kanaya and John have: Two pair, aces and Jacks  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of fives  
Aradia and Rose have: Ace high  
You and Vriska have: Threes full of Kings

"HOW THE FUCK - " Karkat gets cut off by Jade, who also looks suspicious of your hand. You shrug good-naturedly. Rose is looking at the hands. "I was expecting to lose with this one," she says softly, looking over at her ecto-brother, whose team now owes...

"Three!" Terezi breathes, turning her head to face Dave and Feferi. "You're about to be the conductor at the disappointment station," Dave tells her. "Unless it's bare human feet you're into. Check out all of this sock-flinging activity happening hereabouts." Terezi gives him a wide grin. "It's not like I can see anything anyway, Dave," she reminds him. "But I can smell..." 

Dave holds up a sock that Feferi has just removed. "You can't smell anywhere near how bad this can!" That gets John and Jake laughing, which forces Kanaya to move her hand a bit inward so as not to lose her grip. You can tell that John noticed this, as he freezes up and slowly calms down.

You count quietly to yourself. That puts four more players out of minor articles to sacrifice. If either of those teams loses with less than a pair... well, really, this is what you and Vriska were hoping for anyway, right?


	6. Goddammit, John (Hand 16-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stares are flying as the sock supply runs low.

"You're not shuffling them properly," Karkat complains as he gathers the cards. "Look, do like this." He washes them a few times. "Alright Serket, stop eye-banging Egbert's ridiculous pink flesh and give us the new penalty card." Vriska hisses at him, but calls "eight of clubs" anyway. Of course she did.

Nepeta trades three cards, frowning at what she gets back. Jane looks and goes a bit pale. Dave and Feferi trade two. John swaps three, looking mildly relieved with what he gets back, and Terezi does likewise. Aradia and Rose trade two, bringing it around to your turn. Vriska is looking at the cards now and seems agitated. You can see why. "Well that sucks," you whisper to her. "No shit, Lalonde," she fires back. You've got 10 7 6 5 2 staring at you, basically worthless. Vriska takes the decision into her own hands, throwing away all five. Q 6 4 3 2. SO CLOSE, dammmit. Jade swaps three cards and looks immensely pleased with herself, and you know Karkat isn't complaining.

"Let's get this over with," he barks.

Nepeta and Jane have: King high, ten kicker  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of aces  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of tens  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of Kings  
Aradia and Rose have: Two pair, aces and Jacks  
You and Vriska have: Queen high  
Karkat and Jade have: Set of sevens

"FUCK!" Vriska screams. "We just had the best hand and now we're the worst?" Kanaya gives her a side-eye. "Yes, it does suck, doesn't it?"

You patpat your teammate, knowing how to calm her down. "We didn't lose alone, anyway. Nobody had the eight." This quiets everyone down. You and Vriska owe three items, but you have enough socks. Rose and Aradia and Dave and Feferi, however...

"It seems that one of us must disrobe," Rose says to her partner. "Do you have any preference?" Aradia shakes her head. "Why don't we let the winners decide?"

Karkat blanches. "Don't try to fucking pin it on me." "What's wrong, Karkles?" Terezi teases, "don't want to admit which one you want to see more of?" She's grinning widely now, and even Kanaya looks mildly amused at his embarrassment. "NO, I DON'T WANT TO!" he fumes. "WAIT, I MEAN I DON'T WANT TO SEE MORE OF ONE OF THEM." Jade gets in on the needling too. "So what about the other one," she asks him, eliciting a wordless shout of frustration. Giggling, Jade points to Aradia, who sits up so that Rose can help her out of her shirt. Aradia is broader and more filled-out than Kanaya, but WHOA those are nice.

Aradia's breasts are surprisingly well-developed, contained in a fairly sexy burgundy-colored bra. She's got deep cleavage and the support garment is pushing up the top of her bosom slightly, making it look like her boobs are trying to escape out the top. They jiggle merrily as Rose finishes the job and sneaks a quick squeeze of one of them, drawing an "attagirl!" from you and a warm chuckle from Aradia. Jake and Dave are staring, while John, curiously, is not - nor is Karkat. Terezi looks almost like she's smoked a joint, leaning back and inhaling deeply.

"I like that red," Terezi tells her.

Dave and Feferi look at each other, apparently smoewhat uncertain. "So how do we decide?" he asks his partner. Feferi shrugs, but after glancing at Jade, suggests: "We may as well do what they did. Let the winners decide." No sooner have the words come out of her mouth than Jade shouts "DAVE!", looking embarrassed at how quickly it came to her.

"No no, I get it Harley," Dave says, trying to sound nonchalant, "you want some manchest around that doesn't belong to an ecto-bro. We've got this." Feferi gets behind her partner and puts her hands under the hem of his shirt, rubbing upwards and letting it lift on her wrists as she runs her hands over Dave's... surprisingly nice chest. Your ecto-relative is TONED.

"Uh, Feferi, that's not stuck on there, you can just pull it," he says. Jade looks a bit transfixed as Feferi giggles. "I could, yes, but my wave is wave more fin!" Dave jerks slightly as though tickled. "Smooooth!" she croons gleefully as she clears his pecs and pulls the shirt clear.

"I'ma warn you right now that I'll remember this shabby treatment when your number's up, princess," Dave snarks at her. Feferi fixes him with a big fangy grin. "You'd better!" she chirps. You notice that Jade's looking half jealous and half VERY INTERESTED in ALL THE STRIDER. Meanwhile, if Terezi was high on Aradia before, she's completely gone now, leaning toward Dave and breathing very shallowly. Karkat growls under his breath, but you think he might be blushing. He's definitely not looking at Dave. Yep. All kinds of the not-look going on over there.

With Kanaya and John immune, you and Vriska take turns de-socking one another. Karkat grabs one of Jade's, Nepeta takes one of Jane's socks and Terezi loses her first. You and Vriska glance at each other. The situation has just dramatically escalated for you.

"Well then," says Jade, shaking out of her reverie, "I'm going to pick the six of clubs!" Jane busies herself gathering up the cards so she doesn't have to keep looking at Dave, who's making no particular effort to hide himself, or at Aradia, who is likewise leaving her ample goods pretty chill out there, sitting back and leaning on her hands as though she's on display. Looking at Kanaya and back at Aradia, you wonder if the size of troll horns corresponds at all to other things. There may be time to find out!

Feferi tosses one card. Kanaya and John swap two, as does Jake. Aradia and Rose trade two cards, looking decently pleased with the results. You're holding K Q 9 8 3. With Vriska's silent assent (you notice she's back to focusing on John and Kanaya) you toss the three low cards. The 8 6 5 you get back are no help at all. Jade gives a big grin and goes back to ogling Dave, leaving only your dealers for the round, who swap two.

"AC wants to see everyone's paws!" Nepeta puns. You shake your head and take another drink of punch.

Feferi and Dave have: Pair of fives  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of threes  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of twos  
Aradia and Rose have: Two pair, nines and sevens  
You and Vriska have: King high  
Karkat and Jade have: Straight, ace high  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Jacks

"Goddammit," carps Vriska, "and where's the penalty card?" Karkat facepalms. "Who threw it away this time?" John raises a hand sheepishly, earning a chorus of groans. 

"Sorry, we were just trying to get a better hand. I guess we didn't need it, really, but..." he trails off as everyone begins to assess the situation. You and Vriska owe two, and you're all out of footwear. Rose and Feferi are about to get hit as well. Looks like a missing penalty card escalates matters faster than you expected.

"You know, you should take both of these," Vriska tells you quickly, face flushed, "the stupid penalty card was your idea!" You shake your head. "We do it fair and square." Vriska grumbles but you're not going to let her argue any more. You tug on her shirt, sliding it up and over her cobalt blue bra and revealing small but perfectly round boobs. It's more modest than you expected out of her. Idly you find yourself thinking they might fit really nicely in a hand. As her mane of hair pops free from the collar of her shirt, Vriska hastily crosses her arms to cover herself as best as she can. She's quite skinny, really, slight and bony where Aradia is full and curvy and Kanaya soft and feminine. Still, she's got a hint of baby fat sticking up from her waistline. You're a little curious what it looks like down there.

"My turn," you tell a furiously blushing Vriska, blue in the face as she realizes she'll need her arms to get your shirt. She makes a quick grab with both hands, pulling you so that you cover her from the rest as she twists your shirt up and over. You can feel the gazes you're catching in your newly-disrobed state, and note that Dave and Rose are studiously ignoring you.

"I believe I have a contribution to make to the pile as well," Rose tells Aradia, who smiles and takes her shirt by the hem, pulling it off in one fluid motion. You can see that Rose is less developed than any of the other girls so far, with pale skin and fairly small breasts concealed in a black bra with violet lace. Kanaya gives a startled "eep!" and nearly takes her hand off of John's boxers, and you see WELL THEN someone likes something they saw. That's a much more prominent bulge in those shorts than was there previously. John looks extremely embarrassed and Vriska briefly forgets to cover herself as she stares at him. You get an eyeful yourself. You wouldn't mind getting more. Kanaya is covering her mouth with her other free hand, leaving herself a bit more exposed than she might like.

But there's still one left, and Feferi motions to Dave, who seems confused and apprehensive. It's kind of cute - but should you really be thinking that about your ecto-whatever? Feferi takes Dave's hand and slides it away from the hem of her shirt and toward her multicolored skirt. He pulls on it and it loosens, falling away as he starts to tug it down. The troll princess gives an adorable smile as she twirls to release the skirt, showing an ass with a nice curve and fuchsia panties with lacy cutouts that hint at more gray skin underneath. Her thighs are full and taut, though her legs are short - she's probably one of the shortest here, come to think of it. You feel yourself warming up downstairs, and Dave seems to be adjusting his sitting posture to hide something. Jake just looks utterly nonplussed, and you see a blush on Jane and Jade both. Feferi sits and looks around the room, grinning. No, Dave, she's definitely not the most innocent one.

By the time everyone is done staring or not-staring, more socks have gone to the pile. Aradia coughs. "Uh, girls, I think you're forgetting something." What? Oh damn. You lost with less than a pair, so you owe another one. "Noooooooo," Vriska moans. "This isn't fair!" "Whatshamatter, partner?" you tease. "Thish game wash your idea too, you know." Now it's down to whether you or Vriska is going to be the one to pay up. One rock-paper-scissors later, Vriska's mood has improved and you stand so that she can get your skirt off. Her hands play along your waist as she loosens it before abruptly yanking it off, nearly carrying your panties along with it. "HEY!" you yell at her, "SAVE THOSE FOR LATER!" The room breaks into guffaws as you color slightly. Vriska gives you a mock kiss and throws away your skirt. You're feeling bold with all eyes on you, so you give a little spin before sitting back down. You're very pleased to hear Kanaya squeak again, since it tells you someone else definitely enjoyed the show.

"That's great, just fantastic. This is definitely how I wanted to spend my time with you guys, watching my ecto-sis and ecto-mom strip down," Dave grumbles. He jumps and Feferi's hand seems to very conspicuously reappear from a spot near his backside. "Aww, am I not good enough company to keep you occupied?" she teases. "Or maybe you need somefin else to distract you?" Jade looks like she's trying not to glower.

"Well what do you know, I can distract myself with all of these cards and the distribution of them," Dave says hurriedly. You giggle. Mr. Coolkid Ecto-son is shy! Karkat names the two of spades as the penalty card, and out comes the deal.


	7. Whoops! (Hand 18-19)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more skin is displayed and an error is made.

John trades two cards, looking distracted as he tries to readjust his position without dislodging Kanaya's hand. Terezi, after licking the cards, gets Jake to trade two. They don't seem pleased with the results, nor do Aradia and Rose with the three they get back. Your own hand isn't bad, a pair of 10s with K Q 7. Vriska throws the seven and gets back another King, looking very pleased with herself. She's mumbling something about makeouts. You go, girl. Karkat is grumbling about his hand again, swapping three cards. and Jane looks worried as the three she and Nepeta get back don't seem to be doing them any favors. Finally, Dave swaps two cards, but he looks a bit nervous himself. Oh honey, the shades can only hide so much.

"Okay, well, we have the penalty card and we definitely didn't win," Dave says. "Let's see who goes down with us."

Kanaya and John have: Pair of eights  
Terezi and Jake have: King high  
Aradia and Rose have: Ace high  
You and Vriska have: Two pair, Kings and tens  
Karkat and Jade have: Queen high, Jack kicker  
Nepeta and Jane have: Ace high  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of twos, and the penalty card!

"WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS" Karkat demands of nobody in particular. Jade holds out a foot for him, and cursing under his breath he removes her remaining sock. Of course, they still owe something else, too. You see Terezi and Dave both looking more interested than they might want to show. Jade flutters her eyelashes teasingly at Karkat. "Who's it going to be, partner?" "No more fucking games," Karkat glowers. "Female shenanigans and trickery and total lack of shame got us into this fucking mess and I'm not playing around anymore. Here, get this off of me." Despite his irate tone, Karkat visibly blushes as Jade's fingers dance under his shirt. Up it goes, and... wow. Karkat is actually pretty toned, too. What have all these guys been doing with their time? That shirt was hiding some very excellent gray manflesh. Karkat looks more annoyed than embarrassed as his shirt clears his horns. You feel warm as you look at him, and looking away you notice Nepeta sneaking peeks at him with a furious blush as Jane rolls her eyes.

Now it's down to Feferi and Dave, who got the penalty card and failed to win the round. Dave rubs the back of his neck, looking like neither option is particularly good for him. "Come on Dave," Feferi chirps, "Help me get this off." She indicates her top. Dave gingerly puts his hands to her sides, looking a bit stunned, as he peels the black garment up and away. Feferi still has baby fat around her tummy, but it's the perfect amount, making her look soft and smooth and showing off the surprising curves of wow that's a nice view.

Covered by a halter-style bra with two-toned cups, Feferi's boobs are smaller than yours and Aradia's but definitely more than a handful. You can pick out two points through the thin fabric, and there's an adorable little bow nestled between the cups. Now that her shirt is gone, you can take in her whole shape; she's short, but curvy and soft-looking in the best way. Almost reminds you of someone else you know. Feferi hasn't taken her eyes off Dave through the entire process, and he looks downright frazzled now as he quickly sits down. You see Jake is also staring at her, and Jane appears to be glaring at him. Poor Janey, you'll get your turn yet girl!

"Um," John breaks the silence, "can someone pass us the cards?" Vriska grins toothily. "Get 'em yourself," she taunts, but you snatch them out of her hands and help Jade and Jane gather them up for John. Apparently neither of them wants to see a slip happening with their ecto-relative either. Vriska calls "eight of hearts!" for the penalty card this round, and John deals carefully as Kanaya studiously maintains her grip on his thigh. Four in their underwear already and two more shirtless... yep, definitely going as planned.

"Time to be bold!" Jake declares, dramatically trading two cards. Terezi hisses, but smiles as she tastes one of the new cards. Aradia and Rose trade three, with Rose looking firmly impassive. You're sitting on a pair of eights, including the eight of hearts (goddammit Vriska) and an Ace and Jack. Still recoverable. Your partner swaps one card, but that three won't do you any good. Vriska's eyes widen and she covers her chest more tightly as she realizes she's about to become one of the skirtless (well, pantsless) unless everyone else has very bad luck indeed.

Jade trades two cards, despite Karkat trying to toss a third. She sticks her tongue out at him, making him blush slightly, with the two they get back. Nepeta trades two, Feferi trades four, and John, looking quite relieved with his hand, trades just the one.

"Okay, how did everyone do?" he asks.

Terezi and Jake have: Pair of Jacks  
Aradia and Rose have: Queen high  
You and Vriska have: Pair of eights, and the penalty card!  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of nines  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of sevens  
Feferi and Dave have: Set of Kings  
Kanaya and John have: Two pair, sevens and twos

Just as you thought, as Vriska whips her head around to glare furiously at you, blushing bright blue. "That's not fair! You should take a dare, I don't have to - " You cut her off with a giggle. "Sho who picked the eight, hmmm?" you tease as you lean towards her. Maybe you didn't plan to do that. Hmm. How much punch have you had? She's got her arms crossed in front of herself, refusing to budge, so you have to crawl forward a bit to get at her zipper. As soon as you touch it, her eyes widen.

You're feeling a bit naughty as you pull down her zipper to reveal a flash of silky cerulean material. Tugging on her skinny jeans, you slowly manage to wrangle them off, helped out as Vriska finds it harder to fight back when she has to move a hand down to cover her panties, which are skimpier than you expected, string-waisted. Vriska has the longest legs of any of the girls, and you enjoy getting a close-up of the slender, slight curves as she tries to adjust to show off as little skin as possible. You find it funny that your co-mastermind of this stripping game has proved to be so bashful. You sit back, getting a tiny peek at the crotch of Vriska's panties... it's hard to tell, but you think there might be a tiny wet spot there.

Rose and Aradia stand, your ecto-whatsit looking shy but determined and Aradia looking amused. Rose pulls down Aradia's black skirt, letting you get a full look at her robust lower curves. Aradia's wearing high-cut burgundy panties that seem to hug her ass perfectly. Next it's Rose's turn. Aradia leans in close to Rose, whose eyes go wide as the troll puts her hands on Rose's hips before bringing them up slowly to the hem. Aradia squats down slowly, and if you're not mistaking Rose's sudden "eep!" then the taller girl just blew on her belly button in passing. As Aradia slides the white skirt down Rose's almost equally pale legs, she is eye-level with the low-cut black panties, laced with purple, that come into view. Rose lets a hand drop to cover herself and sneaks a glance at Kanaya and John before turning her head away.

"AAAH!" John screams, and then Kanaya's screaming too. You look over to see that the two have abruptly separated and that the bulge in John's boxers is now good lord kid where have you been hiding that thing?! Rose is blushing furiously, as are Kanaya and her partner. Feferi and Vriska, however, are smiling like the cats that ate the canary.

"Well well well, it looks like someone has triggered the second part of his dare!" Feferi sing-songs. John gulps as he sits down again, Kanaya looking incredibly apprehensive as her hand comes down a hair away from the highly visible bulge on the go over there. "No no, Kanaya, you forgot: under the boxers now," Feferi corrects her with a devious grin. Kanaya shudders slightly.

"Uh, well, what if... there," John says as he squirms around to "readjust" himself, "there's a bit of room under the waistband. We'll win one soon, I'm sure of it!" Kanaya closes her eyes tightly and feels her way to the elastic waistband, then slips three fingers just under it. The other troll girls seem to be finding her discomfort highly amusing.

Rose and Aradia sit back down. With all the hubbub in the room, you think it might be time to be someone else for a moment.


	8. BE SOMEONE ELSE (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade, Jake, Vriska, Aradia and Nepeta all have their own views on how the game is going.

> BE JADE HARLEY

As soon as Roxy told you she'd get Dave to play, you were sold - and so far you haven't been disappointed. There is indeed some fine amount of Strider all up in this room right now, and you haven't been very shy about looking. What you weren't expecting is to get a little hot and bothered about your partner, not to mention - nope, definitely not mentioning your ecto-brother. He's not cute at all. And you have definitely not looked anywhere near his boxer bulge SHORTS boxer shorts, yeah, that's right.Grr. Bad Jade's brain. Worst friend.

More than anything, though, you're finding it odd how much you've squirmed looking at Aradia, Roxy and Feferi in particular. The hell is up with that? Not that there's anything wrong with that... let's be someone else now though.

> BE JAKE ENGLISH

You signed on for this evening of social chicanery when Roxy explained the rules of poker, which sounded like a fine contest of cards to you. The value of embarrassment working in your favor also made it clear that this was not a challenge to back down from. Mind you, you had no idea there would be so many young ladies in attendance, nor that you'd be partnered with an odd lass who rubs her tongue on every card you're dealt.

You're sorry Dirk isn't here, as you feel somehow that it would improve the game tremendously for you. Young Dave does bear a certain resemblance, of course, and his fetching masculine chest is quite the ticket. Also, your good friends Roxy and Jane are still in the game, though Jane looks like she's not quite as tickled as you are with the local gaiety and Roxy... ahem. Roxy is currently wearing some tremendously bespoke navy unmentionables and nothing more than a smile. You worry she's let the old devil moonshine make her decisions this evening, but good gravy is she ever a fine specimen of the fairer sex. Impolite to let your eyes wander over there, Jake old boy, perhaps... well no, the younger Lalonde girl is in a similar state of undress, as is her partner, who strangely makes you think of Jane. Young Egbert is boldly accepting his misfortunes, good lad, and... well, young Feferi is also quite lovely, isn't she?

You know what? Perhaps it's time to be someone else.

> BE VRISKA SERKET

You don't remember the last time you've been this embarrassed. Everybody is staaaaaaaaring at you. Goddammit Roxy, why didn't the plan work the way you wanted? True, you've got John down to his boxers, but you still haven't seen the fabled HUMAN BOY THING you're so very curious about and it's cost you a lot of clothes to get this far. Also it's Kanaya, not you, who has her hand inside John's shorts. Stupid sexy Maryam. Wait, what?

Your blush deepens as you remember Roxy's hand on your zipper, and as you see Megido down to her underthings as well. Even stupid Karkat looks hot. What the hell, Serket, get ahold of yourself! This is supposed to be a very straightforward scheme, and you've still got some irons in the fire. You just have to win at the right time. Of course, as your eyes trace up Aradia's extremely inviting curves, you can't help but think that there might be more than one right time to be had... NO. Shut up, brain. If you think you want her so much why don't you just BE her?

> BE ARADIA MEGIDO

This is shaping up to be just as much fun as Roxy said it would be. You're still getting to know your human friends, but between the punch you tinkered with and the baring of both flesh and secret crushes, the process appears to have accelerated marvelously. You're rather glad Equius isn't here, you think with a mote of annoyance, but you kind of wish Sollux was. You could learn to share with Feferi. The humans have lots of stories about multiple mates in the same quadrant. Very interesting stories.

Of course that's not to say there aren't some interesting people in the room with you. Karkat is showing off all the results of being a melee combatant, even if he doesn't realize it himself, as are John Egbert and Dave Strider. Then, of course, there's your partner, so small and cute and pale. She's very soft, you think with a smile, and you let your gaze openly wander over Roxy Lalonde, wondering how a couple of years of age might adjust the tactile qualities of human female physiology. You look at Feferi, Vriska and Kanaya as well - you've never really dwelled on it, but you've always been curious about other female bodies. Now you're getting quite the education. You're ready for just about anything to happen, but you wonder when Terezi and Nepeta will join the fun? Speaking of which...

> BE NEPETA LEIJON

OMG, Karkitty is soooo purrfectly hot! You've been secretly meowing inside every time he and Jade lose a hand, and now you're fighting down the urge to pounce him and lick... well! Places, you know. That English human boy is also really hot; he kind of reminds you of Karkitty. Your gaze keeps being drawn to Kanaya's hand and just what those fingers might be doing there; every twitch from John's boxers is like prey moving in your vision. You've never seen a bone bulge before, let alone the human boy thing, but you're so very curious.

Poor Jane seems far too stressed out by this game. You patpat her, purring to calm her down. You made sure she has plenty of fluids, at least, refilling her punch cup whenever it gets low. You like watching Roxy as she moves about, since she has a catlike quality that you find refurreshing. Vriska was right, this game is turning out to be a lot of fun!


	9. BE SOMEONE ELSE (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose, Jane, Dave and Kanaya have some thoughts about the game, too.

> BE ROSE LALONDE

So now you've figured out who else was behind this game. You suppose there's no reason to be surprised; of course your ectobiological mother-daughter was to blame. The vodka in the punch should have been a dead giveaway, if you hadn't seen Aradia do the actual pouring. Vriska claimed it was just a scheme between the two of you to rope some persons of shared interest into an icebreaking activity. You knew it might end up this way, with you reduced to less clothing than you might have hoped, but given the, ah, revelations the evening has already produced, you don't mind so very much.

It makes you feel warm deep in your stomach to realize, as you catch his every glance, that despite you having perhaps the least feminine assets to display, John cannot keep his eyes off you, blushing and looking away quickly every time. You envy Kanaya her dare-created position in the circle, while also admiring her slender physique and... ahem. Apparently your position on the Kinsey scale is somewhat more central than an upbringing grounded in American culture would have led you to prepare for. That would help explain why Aradia is now managing to keep you slightly off-balance.

You're less pleased that Dave and your ecto-mom have also managed to get themselves into a thorough state of undress, though you privately admit to yourself that your genetics do lend themselves to attractive configurations. Speaking of which, while you personally favor John's slightly awkward and more baby-faced looks, you're incapable of not concluding that his ectobiological relative Jake is quite possibly the most conventionally attractive human male you have ever seen. Doesn't quite do it for you, but then, you suspect that someone else here would be perfectly happy to have less competition for said older boy.

> BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE

You still aren't sure that it wasn't someone else who answered Roxy when she invited you to play this game. You know that none of these people would hold it against you in the slightest - well, maybe that Serket girl, but who gives a fig what she thinks - if you just stood up and walked out. 

Of course, then you'd lose the opportunity to - 

Confound it, you can't even say it to yourself. He's sitting over there, oblivious to a half-dozen partially naked girls around him, focused on a game of cards that he thinks he can win. Why does he have to be so goddamn handsome? For that matter, why does your ecto-son have to be nearly nude, with a girl's fingers doing who knows what manner of naughty things - and why the hell is HE hot too? And Dirk's ecto-son, and the troll boy, and...

...and some of the girls, oh dear; your head is spinning. You appreciate your partner's head pats and backscratches to keep you from becoming overly flustered, but you're still not sure how much more of this you can bear. Drat that Roxy and her drunken schemes. Why you let yourself get caught up in all of this...

Oh well. It's too late now. There's a small, sly voice inside of you that you didn't even know you had, telling you that you're going to sit here until you get everything you want. You shiver despite the room's heat at that word, "everything."

It looks like Jake has initiated some kind of flexing contest with the Strider boy. You can't help but stare.

> BE DAVE STRIDER

That's right, English, nobody tops you at ironically flexing all kinds of bicep and tricep, especially when John's hot mom and Jade are watching. Wait, you're not supposed to think about that. Is TZ watching? Crap, don't think about that either. Is YOUR hot mom watching? Theeeere we go. That did it. All the heat and strange thoughts gone now, replaced by a general sense of squick.

That is, until goddammit she's touching you again. "Oh I think Dave might have you beat this time, Jake," Feferi chirps as she rubs your upper arm. Excuse me princess, but what the glorious fuck do you think you keep doing? You can't believe you ever thought you might have gotten paired with the innocent one. Flex ironically some more, clear your head, there you go. You should get into an ironic bro-flexing contest with John and Karkat, that sounds hey what do you think of that local sports crew and their chosen activity involving a group sport? There we go. Sports. All of the sports is what you are definitely going to think about now, not lacy fuchsia panties and soft cool troll princess hands and manly chests and GODDAMMIT STRIDER get a hold of yourself.

You curse at how easily Vriska was able to con you into this game, and you haven't even gotten the payoff she dangled in front of you. Jade's actually been doing really well this game. Not that that matters, obviously. At least you've still got your pants for modesty thanks to Feferi being totally insane, not like John, who seems to be having himself a hella embarrassing time next to his surprisingly hot partner, who looks like she'd rather have a hand anywhere else than next to John's junk. What's that like? If you could be her...

> BE KANAYA MARYAM

This has gone beyond any sensible definition of "too far." How the hell did this game escalate so quickly? You're still not sure why you agreed to sit in for a game like the one Roxy described to you, giggling all the way. If anything, you were likely hoping to keep the peace between any potential blackrom partners. It definitely had nothing to do with the tantalizing prospect of seeing certain female friends in a state of undress...

...get ahold of yourself, Kanaya, you're better than this! Loo where your curiosity has gotten you - fingers dangerously close to a naked human boy thing. You have never seen a bone bulge before and have never had the desire, knowing from various educational materials and a brief conversation with Gamzee, the only male who would discuss it with you without getting embarrassed, that it's a sort of squishy tentacle with a mind of its own. This one seems much longer than your readings suggested, but then again it IS an alien member, so what do you know.

At least your partner doesn't seem to be one for taking advantage. Although his human boy thing has consistently tried to get frisky with your hand, John Egbert himself has been nothing if not awkwardly accommodating, beyond what anyone could ask. And honestly, it wasn't his fault that it woke so forcefully when Rose's skirt came off. You felt more than a bit of a stirring yourself, seeing that, and you're fully in control of all parts of your own anatomy.

You've been sneaking glances at Roxy, Feferi and Aradia, against your better judgment. All of them are much more well-endowed than you, and you're... simply curious as to how the measurements work out. For clothing reasons, obviously. Vriska's tall and lean physique you're more familiar with, as she has always preferred jeans; you rather enjoy her flustered state, though you don't want to admit that. You have to be careful what you start thinking, lest your fingers subconsciously make John's current state worse for the both of you. The human boy thing is very warm and you think you've slipped a bit further under his boxers than you had any intention of doing. Blast Feferi for coming up with such a devious dare! You fire a glance at Karkat, wondering how well he's handling this activity. He must think it's incredibly stupid.


	10. BE SOMEONE ELSE (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat, Terezi, John and Feferi are also thinking about the game.

> BE KARKAT VANTAS

This human activity you have been inveigled into thanks to the machinations of two devious females is incredibly stupid. Here you are, sitting shirtless and being stared at and laughed at by several females and Strider too. It's humiliating. You curse Terezi and Roxy for tricking you into this mess. Privately you're wondering why Kanaya didn't know better; if only she'd agreed to sit this out, you could have been clear of participating so as not to cause an odd number. Dammit Maryam, what gives?

Of course, you're too embarrassed to admit exactly HOW Terezi and Roxy managed to twist your arm in the first place. Worse, you've ended up with a partner with both the desire and the unwitting capacity to tease you mercilessly. Jade Harley is making you blush far too often for your liking and she hasn't even lost a major article of clothing yet! You wince in frustration and curse Past Karkat for letting that "yet" into your thought processes, just like you cursed Even More Past Karkat for watching when Strider lost his shirt. Serket you just ignored; you can see her discomfort and as far as you're concerned she can go spin on a chainsaw, this is all her fault anyway. Her and Roxanne. Probably scheming to catch their flushed crushes in an indecent state and make a move but not brave enough to do it without the cover of a crowd of victims. Good fucking job, ladies, look where that got you. You hope they're totally unsatisfied with their prankster's gambit.

You shiver a bit as you see a pair of red glasses turn your way. Your topless state is of course wasted on Terezi, who can't see you, but you know she can probably smell more of your mutant blood near the surface or some hoofbeast crap like that. She could always get more detail by licking... NO. FUCK YOU, Immediately Past Karkat. Don't even go there. You've spent too much time being you, be someone else now.

> BE TEREZI PYROPE

You chuckle to yourself as you smell the manly odors of all kinds of Strider and Vantas chests. Oh yes, this plan has worked incredibly well so far. You're glad you maneuvered Vriska and Lalonde into it. You wonder if they've even figured it out yet. You're still kind of surprised at just how many others they managed to drag into your trap; Vriska may be overly predictable, but nobody could accuse her of being less than thorough, you suppose.

Your partner is an interesting guy, able to match you for boastfulness with ease and then some. Unlike you and Strider, he does it with zero irony and zero competitiveness - it's just a refreshing sort of matter-of-fact thing for him. There are others you've become glad are in the game - Megido's undergarments are a fantastic-smelling shade of red, like raspberries and wine, Egbert's undergarments are giving off a heady aroma, and then there's Feferi. You did not see any of her trickery coming, but goddamn has she ever delivered.

But then, what's poker without a wild card?

You just hope that nobody pulls the plug, and if you know anything about human behavior from trolling John, he's a risk factor, especially with how hot and bothered he's gotten with Kanaya's hand in his undies. What would it be like to be John Egbert right now?

> BE JOHN EGBERT

Okay, so, uh... there's a really pretty alien girl in her underwear sitting next to you, and you're also in your underwear, and she's got her long, slender fingers under the waistband, and you can feel her fingernails close to... you know. So that's a thing. No amount of shifting is going to fix this; right now, you guess, you can really only make it worse.

Not that anyone else is helping. The troll girl with the big horns also has big, you know, and she's really flirty. Dave's partner with all the hair is giving him a lot of trouble too, you expect - she's short and curvy and really cute, kind of reminds you of another friend of yours. Of course, she also gave you and your partner a ton of trouble. Rose's mom is really indecent right now and she's not embarrassed at all, you don't think, which means you're getting an eyefull all the time. And Vriska's a lot cuter when she's flustered, and now she's not wearing much either. This game sure is trouble!

And then of course there's Rose. That was all your fault, when that happened. You shouldn't have been looking, let alone staring, let alone OGLING, when Aradia pulled her skirt down. But of course you were, and so, you know, that happened, which caused Kanaya to jump, so now her hand's in your shorts.

Yeah, the logical progression of events is there, but it's still weirding you out and you're not sure what to make of it. You're a little worried that Kanaya might touch more than she wants to and cause an embarrassing reaction - or is that hope? Maybe you shouldn't dwell on that, or on anyone named Lalonde... although you have to admit you're secretly hoping Rose might get a dare that involves you somehow.

Fuck, why can't you just be anyone else? Is there anyone else to be?

> BE FEFERI PEIXES

You can't remember the last time you had this much fun! While you do miss Sollux (but not Eridan, that douche), you're determined not to let fond memories ruin your present. And oh what a present the girls inadvertently gave you! Dave Strider is so very easy to tease, and he's yours until someone else takes over. At which point... well, if the success of your devious dare for John Egbert and Kanaya is any indication, you're not going to run out of people to tease any time soon.

It's liberating, in a way, feeling open like never before, a breath of fresh air (ironically) now that your onetime moirail is out of the picture. You never even used to look at girls, worried that Eridan would already be yapping up that particular ligneous extrusion and that it would be one more thing for him to try and steer towards a concupiscent relationship for himself, just like when he tried to break up your matespritship by getting you to auspitice. Selfish prick.

Now, though... Rose Lalonde, just a hair shorter than you, looks adorable. Aradia you never realized was anywhere near that curvy. You smirk to yourself - Sollux had a type. And of course, all of the topless males have revealed surprisingly fit torsos. You can see why Nepeta and Terezi both have a thing for Karkat. Physically, at least. He's still a cranky douche.

Oh yes, you're going to enjoy watching how this all plays out. And seeing how far you yourself will decide to go. That last thought excites you most of all! It's a shame you weren't the instigator of something like this earlier...

> BE THE INSTIGATOR


	11. The De-Sockening (Hand 20-22)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final sock leaves the circle as more dares are drawn.

You are ROXY LALONDE once again, intrepid planifier of many schemes! This one seems to be getting a bit out of your control, of course... but isn't that the exciting part?

Feferi calls the game back to attention with "ten of glubs!" and Jake deals the next hand. You're not the only one, you're certain, who has realized that from now on there's going to be a lot more chaos...

Rose swaps one card, turning over play to you and Vriska, who have a pair of fours. Vriska doesn't seem to want to risk showing any more than she already is, so you play the hand, swapping one card and getting back a meaningless ace. Jade trades two, Nepeta does likewise, and Dave follows suit. John swaps a single card, leaving your dealers to finish it up. Terezi licks the cards and swaps just one, seeming mildly unsatisfied with what she gets back.

"Hoo hoo, I think we've bested you all this time," Jake declares as the hands come down.

Aradia and Rose have: Pair of Kings  
You and Vriska have: Pair of fours  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Kings  
Nepeta and Jane have: Two pair, Jacks and tens  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of threes  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of sixes  
Terezi and Jake have: Two pair, Queens and nines

"Oh no!" you slur teasingly, "where's the ten?"

Jake turns over the remaining cards of the deck. Sure enough, it's the last one. Hee hee hee, you and Vriska are immune! Jane liberates Nepeta's remaining sock and tosses it over her shoulder, while Jake loses his (leaving Terezi as the last one with a sock) on account of it being his shuffle. Even the boy's feet are handsome, goddamn. Of course, this means that there's one team left without immunity or any more minor articles to surrender...

Jade flutters her eyelashes at Karkat. "Do you want to volunteer?" She gets a glare in response. "Of course, Harley, that's what I'd like, to surrender my pants to the vagaries of the English kid's poor card-handling skills and sit here like an idiot in my modesty flap. Egbert is my fucking role model, you know. Of course I don't want to volunteer." She gives him a coy look. "So you want to undress me, then? Alright..." she singsongs as Karkat turns a furious red, eyes widening. He's been had, but good. Terezi cackles at him.

Karkat gently, almost gingerly takes hold of Jade's shirt hem as she lifts her arms over her head and smiles. Up it comes, revealing her long torso with a hint of baby fat around the belly, tanned from a lot of time outside, and then a hint of tanlines as her green and blue striped bra comes into view. Jade's less buxom than Feferi, but she's got rounder boobs than Kanaya. They look really squeezable. Goddamn Jake's genes do hella work. As the shirt clears her head, Karkat furiously averts his eyes, while your ecto-son is clearly trying not to gape as he pretends anything else has his attention. Jade's tall, narrow build is at odds with the slight bit of roundness near her waist and the plush bust she's developed. 

You look to see who lost... ahhh crap. You don't want to watch this. At least you're not supposed to want to, or however that works. Stupid paradox genetic bullshit. Feferi and Terezi are grinning widely and Karkat is now looking straight up at the ceiling as Dave stands up to give the troll princess access to his trousers. She stands as well, putting her hands at his waist and looking up at him. You're pretty sure you shouldn't watch this. "Aradia gave me a fun idea!" she tells Dave. Definitely sure. Definitely sure you shouldn't theeeere she goes, slowly, tugging off his pants and Dave looks incredibly startled so she probably just blew on his belly as well. As she goes eye-level, you hear a weird click sound and a "HEY!" from Dave, who has goosebumps. Feferi gets his pants all the way down and Dave sits hurriedly. You definitely saw a shape in those red boxers, though. Some of the girls cheer and catcall. Jade looks super jealous right now. 

"Three of diamonds," Terezi sings out as the deck changes hands. Aradia bends forward to gather the cards, letting the rest of the circle get a great look at the valley between her boobs. Your perspective, meanwhile, affords you a great view of her curves all the way back. Hot damn, girl.

You and Vriska have a pair of Kings, which should be enough. Karkat trades one card, but he's not looking particularly cranky to begin with. Nepeta and Jane also swap just one. Feferi tosses two and leans in to show Dave, who shifts uncomfortably. But of course we're not looking at our ecto-son, riiiight? John looks worried as he throws four cards and relieved as he sees the new ones. Jake tosses three, followed by Aradia grabbing the cards from Rose and trading four, though apparently without success. Try harder next time, girls. Wordlessly, Rose arches an eyebrow to her buxom partner, then shows their hand, prompting everyone to do likewise.

You and Vriska have: Pair of Kings  
Karkat and Jade have: Two pair, eights and sevens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of aces  
Feferi and Dave have: Two pair, Queens and eights  
Kanaya and John have: Two pair, tens and fives  
Terezi and Jake have: Ace high  
Aradia and Rose have: Jack high

"I tossed it," Aradia interjects before anyone can ask. "What? It's meaningless to us now," she leers around the circle, "but not to some..."

"We still lost," Rose points out. "Very badly. And might not have, had you let me handle it."

"Oh well," Vriska says, brightening up. "That's why we have this dare jar!" You pass it over. Rose sighs and reaches in first. She scans it, eyebrows raising.

"This is odd. It says I should take a piece of discarded clothing other than my own and put it on," she reads. "Hoofbeastmanure!" Vriska fumes. Rose passes it over. Sure enough, that's what it says.

John rubs the back of his neck and looks at the ceiling. "I, uh, was sort of halfway between a prank and, like, just cause," he pauses, glancing at his partner, "you know, cause you seem uncomfortable and I was hoping it might help?" Kanaya fixes him with an unreadable look. Rose stands and walks to the clothing pile. She comes back wearing an oversized (on her) blue shirt, restoring some of her modesty. "Given your attempted combination plate of japery and chivalry, John, I feel it is only fair that I thieve your discarded garment accordingly."

Vriska rolls her eyes, but you're not complaining. Next up is Aradia. She pulls out a slip and reads it: "Pounce the player on your left and make them purr!" She glances over at Nepeta, who grins widely. "AC is happy her dare got pulled!" Aradia looks at the player to her left: Vriska. Her face is unreadable for a moment, not unlike Kanaya's, but you imagine just for a moment that you see spades in her eyes. Before Vriska can finish a "What the hell is that supposed to mean?", Aradia tackles her to the ground, just barely taller and much heavier than your partner troll. 

It starts with a forceful kiss, the curvier troll pinning her counterpart's wrists to the ground as she closes her eyes and leans into it. Vriska's eyes are wide as one of Aradian's hands snakes behind her and then comes up between her legs, a finger pressed right into the center of those cerulean panties. Aradia breaks the kiss to lean over and exhale into Vriska's ear, then runs her flat teeth down the side of Vriska's neck until she reaches the top of the skinny troll girl's bra. You can't make out what happens next through the thick hair, but Vriska is sweating and her glasses are fogging rapidly. She starts breathing more shallowly, and you see Aradia release her other wrist, head rising to kiss your partner once more. She breaks the kiss just as her finger slips under the side of Vriska's blue silk panties and her other hand strokes lightly up Vriska's spine, eliciting a shuddering sigh and "ohh" from her victim.

Abruptly Aradia sits back up, straightening up her hair and moving back beside Rose. Vriska pops up, sweaty and disheveled. "Why'd you stoooooooop?" she whines. "You purred," Aradia grins.

So... you're feeling a bit hot and sweaty yourself after that steamy display. You're not alone, either; most everyone you can see appears to be squirming or at least really surprised. Terezi lets Jake remove her last sock (no more socks left in the game, now!) and Nepeta... removes her coat. Aw darn, you were hoping for a bit more excitement there. The cat-loving troll looks much smaller without the huge overcoat. 

Oh right, it's your deal, isn't it? Vriska's certainly in no state to help, still breathing heavily as she tries to cool down with some punch. Oh honey, that's not going to help at all, you should know that.

"Queen of glubs!" Feferi calls, grinning. Of course. Karkat looks alarmed at their hand, but Jade swaps two cards without his input, leading to the usual grumbling. Nepeta and Jane trade four, Dave tosses one, John two, and Jake likewise. Aradia throws one card, which brings it around to you. K Q 10 9 5, eh? Okay... can you get a straight? No. No you cannot. Dare jar, here you come...

"Show your cardsh!" you shout. Wow you're louder than you thought. This is some good punch.

Karkat and Jade have: Pair of eights, and the penalty card!  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Queens  
Feferi and Dave have: Two pair, Jacks and tens  
Kanaya and John havee: Pair of sevens  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of twos  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of sixes  
You and Vriska have: King high

"I told you we should have thrown that fucking penalty card," Karkat complains to Jade, "but no, clever human female schemes are so much better." "Is that your way of saying you want to take off my skirt, Karkat?" Jade teases, causing a blush and an ocean of furious denials. "Well if that's the case..." and she abruptly yanks off his pants, nearly taking his grey underwear with them, drawing an irate squawk from the troll. WHO IS WEARING BRIEFS! There's a round of titters from the girls as Dave pipes up "Excellent choice of banana hammock, trollbro. Fashion statement of the year right there." Mind you, that's one hell of a lump in the front of it. Karkat sits, fuming and trying to cover his undies with his hands and refusing to look at Jade at all. A jibe from Terezi makes him twitch: "Those aren't the right color, Karkles. I don't think you should be wearing them." And another round of laughs.

But all eyes drift to you and Vriska, who owe dares. Vriska nudges you to go first. Why not? You reach in and pull out a slip.


	12. Strife Specibus: Johnkind (Hand 23-24)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nosebleed occurs and a dare causes STRIFE.

"Do your sexiest poses for 30 seconds. No covering anything! Who put this in?" you're curious, but nobody acknowledges it. You see Jane blushing furiously, though. Oh Janey, you sly devil you, were you hoping to get Jake with this? Oh well. You decide to put on a good show for the group, arching your back, squeezing your boobs together and bending over for a classic butt shot. Your every move is greeted by a chorus of catcalls from the troll girls and Jade, though the boys are being conspicuously silent. Come on guys, clap for the butt. It's a nice butt!

"Time!" calls Dave a little too loudly. Oh right, he wouldn't have wanted to see that. Too bad for him! You pass the dare jar over to Vriska, who reaches in like it's full of snakes. She blinks as she looks at it.

"Keep this card. If you have to undress, the winners of the hand do it for you instead of your partner. What is this hoofbeastmanure?" Kanaya shrugs. "It seemed to be in keeping with the spirit of the game, and I could not think of a more direct challenge that rose to the occasion." You frown a bit; it's really more of a penalty for you, isn't it? Ah well.

"At least I got the safe one," Vriska gloats as the cards pass to the next dealer, Jade. "There's some worse stuff in there. I guarantee it!"

Jade distributes cards for the next hand. You're surprised how uneven the game has been - five of you are at risk of nudity, while four people still haven't lost a major article yet! Dave calls "Ace of diamonds" before Feferi pokes him irritably. "Fine, clubs." Poke. "Fiiiine, 'glubs'," he sighs as Feferi beams. 

Jane looks very happy with her hand, that's new. She and Nepeta trade just one card. Feferi and Dave trade two and look similarly pleased. John swaps two, Terezi swaps three, Aradia one. You and Vriska have a pair of nines, but Vriska throws two cards to try and pair your Jack. You know she's hoping to win a hand... hm, no Jack, but a pair of threes should help! Karkat swaps one card, then lays down two pair. "Not this time," he taunts nobody in particular.

Nepeta and Jane have: Set of aces, and the penalty card!  
Feferi and Dave have: Set of Kings  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of fives  
Terezi and Jake have: Ace high  
Aradia and Rose have: Two pair, Queens and fives  
You and Vriska have: Two pair, nines and threes  
Karkat and Jade have: Two pair, tens and sixes

Wow, that was a surprisingly solid round for a lot of teams. Of course, Kanaya and John couldn't get the luck they needed to end their dare, and Terezi and Jake still managed to miss making a pair, so...

Jake clears his throat. "Well then, that's us in a bit of a pickle, isn't it? Er... how should we get ourselves out of this scrape?" He turns to Terezi, who shrugs. "One each, only fair." She raises her hands over her head, indicating to Jake that he should help her out. Jake gets behind her, blushing as he gingerly lifts her shirt up, revealing a smooth tummy, small waist and a teal bra with modest cups, which provokes a stray thought that it might be the equivalent of "nude" color among troll. Terezi's boobs are around the size of Kanaya's and just slightly bigger than Vriska's, you think - but then again, you don't know what sort of padding might be hiding in any of these garments. Only one way to find that out!

Jake carefully eases the neck of the shirt around Terezi's glasses, leaving her bare and shivering slightly. She's actually rather slender across the shoulders, smaller than you expected from the wiry blind troll. She turns to Jake and feels around on his chest for the hem of his shirt, flustering him immediately. A flash of teeth suggests she's nowhere near as incapable as she's pretending but rather is getting a few good squeezes in while she can. Jake helps her find the hem quickly, and she removes it by rubbing upward on his chest with her hands to lift it with her wrists, to her partner's deep embarrassment. Shoulda worn your vest today, Jake, this one's all on yoWZA. As Terezi moves away, you can see... well. That's what a couple of years difference in age gets you. Where the other boys are lean or fit, Jake is... well, he's RIPPED. Not to mention TAN, unlike pale John, albino Dave and troll-color Karkat. A dusting of chest-hair enhances his rugged look and wow you're squirming. You're not the only one. Jane - wait, where's Janey? You look over at Nepeta, who mouths "nosebleed." Seriously? Hot damn girl, you need to knock it off with the repressed prude thing, it's not healthy. Jade is looking extremely embarrassed and burying her head in her arms, while Rose's eyebrows are raised and Vriska, Feferi and Aradia's eyes are wide. Good lord that is one fine-looking man.

As Jake sits back down, Jane returns with her problem solved - oh right, healing powers - and a cup of punch, which she starts drinking deeply to calm herself. You have this feeling in the fuzzy side of your brain that that's not a solution, but why...? Something about Aradia, and a bottle... oh well. "You going to use that penalty card, Leijon?" Vriska prods. Nepeta's eyes shine as she remembers - it's been so long - that as the winners, they get to assign the penalty to someone else. "I pick Karkitty!" she squeals. Of course she does. Then again, looking at Jane's flushed face with Jake merely shirtless, you feel like it's better that Nepeta got to choose.

"The rules say you pick a team," Karkat shoots back. "So Harley should, uh..." he flushes red and looks away. Jade gives him a teasing look. "Harley should what, Karkat? What should Harley do, huh? Should Harley... let you help her get this skirt off?" Karkat has once again been cornered by his own ire and embarrassment. It's adorable and predictable. He nods, looking frozen as Jade stands up in front of him. She's rather tall, but Karkat is able to reach up and take the hem of her skirt, shimmying it down to reveal bright green, low-cut panties. Cotton, you think. Jade's legs are long and she's developing some nice curves; she's also slightly tanned, though not as much as Jake, and freckly. You blush a bit. You like freckles.

Nepeta and Jane are the only ones without any skin in the game, but you can't imagine Jane will want to quit now. She's still looking a bit out of commission, so Nepeta jumps around to collect all the cards. From the way she "accidentally" brushes against Karkat, you suspect she's enjoying herself tremendously. As she deals, she sings out "Jack of hearts, like AC!" earning a "You're a Rogue, not a Jack" from Kanaya, who gets a shrug back.

Dave doesn't bother exchanging any cards. John takes three, Terezi takes two (and seems to be very happy with whatever she's licking), and Rose stands with what they've got. You and Vriska...

Well son of a bitch, you've got the Jack of Hearts.

A devious thought comes to mind: if you hold onto it, you're in trouble, buuut... you lean over and whisper to Vriska, who gets an almost identical (with a few more fangs) look on her face. You toss three cards, ending up with a solid two pair. Time to turn up the heat on everyone else. Karkat swaps three cards, and Nepeta loses two.

"Huh?" Jane burbles as Nepeta prods her. "Oh... yes, let's see how everybody did."

Feferi and Dave have: Pair of nines  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of eights  
Terezi and Jake have: Fives full of Kings  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of aces  
You and Vriska have: Two pair, aces and threes  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Queens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Set of threes

Wow, that was a strong hand. Rose begins "Where's the - " "WE TOSSED IT, BITCHES!" exults Vriska. "And we're immune! So how do you like THAT?"

But Kanaya and John aren't paying attention. They're looking at the hands. "How... how did we lose with a middle pair?" gasps Kanaya. John's eyes are wide. "I guess, uh, we need a dare then?" Kanaya sighs. Aradia pulls John's shirt of Rose and throws it back in the clothing pile, while Nepeta and Jane look at each other uncertainly. "How do we decide this?" Jane fusses nervously. You shoot her a sly look. "You could alwaysh ashk the winnersh..." Jane and Jake both blush deeply, but Terezi saves them. "That's right, and I pick Nepeta. The coat was a cheat, Leijon, you started with more than everyone else. Toss something in!"

Nepeta sighs. "AC can't argue with that," she mumbles, lifting her arms. Jane hesitates before pulling on the sleeves, an awkward way to get a shirt off that ends with it catching a bit on Nepeta's fingernails. Those things are like claws. Nepeta's not got an ouce of fat on her, skinny and well-toned with small breasts in a bright white bra with olive polka dots and a cat button in the middle. You size her up - she's just barely more developed than Rose, but her boobs suit her small frame and ballerina-like figure. A stray thought bats itself around in your booze-addled brain like a ball of yarn: she might be fun to play around with. Shush brain. Worst friend.

Of course, leaving it up to the winners doesn't help those selfsame winners, who choose rock-paper-scissors to resolve it. Jake loses, and Terezi cackles wildly as he stands and she sits up on her knees so she can reach. There goes Jane's blush again; you're surprised she hasn't fainted from it already. Terezi frowns a bit as she pulls down the zipper of his shorts. "What's going on with the colors in there?" she asks quizzically. As the pants come down, you can see why - Jake is wearing camouflage-patterned undies.

"So like, when you walk half-naked through the jungle, are you trying to look like The Amazing Junkless Man?" Dave cracks, which breaks the tension as Jake plunks down, seemingly oblivious to his state of undress. The tan goes all the way down, it seems, and you aren't seeing much of a bulge in those shorts. Probably better for poor Janey, she's not ready for that yet. Jake takes the jibe in good humor: "You never know when you'll need an extra scrap of camo fabric, younger Strider!" Now you're blushing too, imagining a situation in which that "extra scrap" might be called into service... oh boy. You pass Kanaya the dare jar, which she reaches into with her right hand. Her eyes widen as she reads it and pales slightly.

"Er... I'm not certain who the 'Big Man' is supposed to be?" she asks. "What does it say?" Vriska pushes. Kanaya clears her throat. "Challenge the 'Big Man' to a wrestling match. The first one to pin the other gets to give them a new dare." Jake pipes up "Means the winner of the hand!" spelling out in no uncertain terms who submitted it. And of course Kanaya has one hand tied up, for all practical purposes. Jake sizes up the situation, then turns to Terezi. "Doesn't seem sporting for me to go, I've got more than a big of an edge here. But then..." But Terezi is already standing up, grinning. Kanaya and John stand as well. "May I at least remove my hand from his - " "NO!" shouts a chorus of Feferi and Vriska. Might have been some Lalonde voices in there too, you couldn't possibly comment. Kanaya sighs and leads John by the unmentionables into the center of the circle, as everyong shuffles back to give her room. Terezi looks ready to pounce, but as she rushes in, Kanaya blocks her by interposing John in her path, then kicks her foot out from underneath her and "OW!" John shouts, jumping up. Did she just pinch him? Kanaya grabs the airborne John by the arm and flips him so he covers Terezi, who quickly flips above him, nearly dislodging Kanaya's hand, and goes for Kanaya's arms. How does she know?

The circle is openly cheering now; this isn't even a sexy battle, just a skilled one amplified by John's unwitting and cartoonish presence. In a few short seconds he becomes a human tripwire, a vaulting horse, an ACTUAL horse and, if your slightly inebriated eyes do not mistake you, an improvised bludgeoning weapon. Even with her disadvantage, Kanaya is fast, and as she tightens her grip on John and slams him into place over an escaping Terezi, it's clear that even with the counter-kick that the shorter troll readied to disable Kanaya, the game is over. Kanaya sits down on top of John, thoroughly pinning Terezi as they all breathe heavily. The circle claps.

"Um, Kanaya, you may want to stop grabbing my..." says a wide-eyed and blushing John. Kanaya turns bright green as her hand hurriedly snakes itself away from the large and prominent bulge in John's boxers. They sit back down, not looking at each other, and the dare jar goes around the circle to Terezi, who adjusts her straps where they slipped down.


	13. Vriska's Lapdance (Hand 25-26)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska gets what's coming to her and an unlikely pair gets a bit frisky.

"Alright, what do I get..." she pulls out a piece of paper and licks across it, avoiding the edges (wow that would suck). "Stick a piece of ice down your OH GOGDAMMIT KARKAT," she fumes as he sticks out his tongue, "I KNOW THIS WAS YOU. Jegus this is going to suck. Jade, can you...?" Jade waves, and a piece of ice appears. Terezi sighs, unzips the front of her pants and pulls aside a peek of black-and-red lacy panties to slip the ice inside. "HOW IS ANYTHING SO COLD??" she screeches as the ice starts to do its work. Terezi's squirming isn't going to abate anytime soon.

"I was hoping to get Strider with that since he's Mr. Coolkid," Karkat admits as the cards are gathered up. "Sorry crabman," Dave snarks as he deals out the cards. "You have to get up earlier in the day to throw off THIS guy. Three beats ahead, bro, three beats ahead. Hey TZ, what's the penalty card?"

"S-six o-of s-s-s-spad-d-des," she shudders.

John tosses three cards, but looks extremely worried with what he gets back. Kanaya facepalms with her free hand. Jake keeps his whole hand. Aradia and Rose trade two, and now... oh hey, two pair! You toss the spare, but no luck filling up, sadly. Karkat and Jade toss one, Nepeta and Jane toss two, and Feferi and Dave do likewise.

John sighs and turns over their hand, everyone else following suit:

Kanaya and John have: Queen high  
Terezi and Jake have: Set of fives  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of threes  
You and Vriska have: Two pair, aces and twos  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of tens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of fours  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of Kings, and the penalty card!

"Oh wow," John moans. "We owe two now." Kanaya sighs. "Very well John, if you could help me with this?" she touches the strap of her bra. This is it, the start of the third act, and you're catching surreptitious looks everywhere as John reaches behind his partner with both hands, then gets a funny look on his face.

"Wait, uh, how do you... what the heck? It's... how is this even... hold on..." Rose and Jade start giggling as Terezi and Vriska cackle and Feferi clicks her tongue in amusement. Jane seems politely embarrassed for her ecto-thing. Kanaya sighs and seems to almost smile. "Take the two sides and push together," she tells him. "You're trying to unhook it." After another couple of minutes he finally gets it, and Kanaya unfastens the strap adjuster so that it can come off without her removing her hand from John's boxers. John's eyes widen as the garment slips away, revealing soft and pert young boobs tipped with round jade nipples. Definitely squeezable, you think to yourself. John hurriedly looks away, but the bulge in his boxers twitches.

Vriska is eyeing that very bulge. "You still owe another one. Come on Egbert, time to lose the shorts!" But Kanaya shakes her head. "I still have my modesty flap, we get another dare." She reaches into the jar. When she reads it, she blanches, facepalms and passes it to John. "WHAT?" he shouts. "Oh come on..."

"What does it say?" Vriska asks eagerly. John sighs. "Make out with your partner." Aradia's head pops up. "Oh hey, that one was mine!" Kanaya is looking irritated and apprehensive, John's looking shy and awkward (but then, when is that not the case?) and Rose... wow, daughtermom is an absolute mask of unreadability. You're not sure she's entirely clear on what she's feeling right now, either. Kanaya is still covering herself with her right arm, her left hand still slipped under John's waistband. What's a bit surprising is that Karkat looks... is that some kind of sympathy look, or is he constipated? It's weird is what it is. John leans in close to Kanaya and whispers to her. Her eyes go wide, but then she smiles softly and gives a small nod.

"Okay, well, here we go then," John says, grabbing Kanaya in his arms, tipping her low and giving her a hella smooch. Her eyes pop wide and then sloooowly drift closed as she gets a full dose of Egbert, her arm slipping away from covering her so that you can see her ladybits start to perk up. You hear Karkat explaining to nobody in particular that John's displaying the proper technique from whatever stupid troll romance flick and wheeeere is Kanaya's left hand now? Her right arm goes up behind John as she begins to lean upward, pushing his head toward her, and starts to take over the kiss, her silky jade-covered bottom sliding across John's lap as they press together.

Finally, the kiss breaks, leaving them looking breathless and John looking distinctly shocked, a smear of makeup across his lips. Kanaya rolls off of him, but leans on his shoulder for support. You note that her hand is further under his boxers now, but on the hip portion only, and she seems... more relaxed, somehow. John's eyes flick to Rose and then back to nothing in particular, Jane is pretending she didn't see anything, Jade looks grossed out and Dave gives a curt nod. "Solid technique, folks!" Jake offers obliviously as Kanaya covers herself again. Daughtermom has a hand covering her panties and is maintaining the zero-expression face. She takes another drink of this awesome punch.

Feferi looks over at Dave. "I think we owe a dare as well. Rock-paper-scissors?" "If you think you've got the skills, fish princess, but I've gotta warn you, Strider-style roshambo has never aaaaaaand it just failed me. Well damn." He takes the dare jar. "Wait, what? Suck on and play with someone's ears, winner decides who? Who wrote this?" Jade blushes and looks away, and Dave does as well. "Jake, TZ, uh, this one is up to you..." Terezi isn't grinning now, and Jake just looks confused. Rose leans over and whispers to them both. Terezi hisses something back but Jake asks loudly, "Jade?" causing the girl so named to blush furiously and shout "GRANDPA!!"

Dave hesitates before walking over and sitting next to Jade. Terezi looks a bit sad, and Karkat's face is a mess of confusion. You can hear him ask softly, "That was yours, right Harley?" and you see a nod before you look away. Your ecto-son doing things to someone's ears is none of your business. You hear Jade squeak, then a long series of sighs that get louder in volume. After a minute or so, Jade calls "T-time" and Dave goes to sit back down. She looks extremely flushed and her dog ears are twitching. The trolls all seem to be a bit stunned as well.

"How about we move on?" John says a bit quickly, taking the cards. "Nine of diamonds," Terezi tells him.

Jake swaps two cards, Aradia one, and... aha! Pair of nines, with an ace. Remembering what happened not so long ago to another team, you discard two to get a better hand and find a third nine. Nice! Vriska flashes a fangy smile - you've got the penalty card; if you can win with a set... oh that could be fun. Karkat swaps three, Nepeta and Jane trade two, Feferi and Dave do likewise, and then it's back to your dealers, the most put-upon pair in the game thus far. John and Kanaya lean together to look at their hand, then Kanaya sighs and throws away four cards. They brighten a bit as the last one comes into view.

Terezi and Jake have: Two pair, Kings and sevens  
Aradia and Rose have: Set of sixes  
You and Vriska have: Set of nines, and the penalty card!  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of eights  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Queens  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of Jacks  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of tens

"GOGDAMMIT," Karkat shouts, "SERKET, YOU'VE CURSED THE EIGHTS SOMEHOW." She grins and points to the penalty card. "Careful Karkat," she says sweetly, "I could always do you for two." You pull a strand of her hair to get her attention. She's not making this decision on her own. "So what," he continues, "we need a dare now?" You nod cheerfully as Feferi passes the dare jar around the circle. One quick rock-paper-scissors later, Karkat reaches into the jar, grumbling about how the fuck does paper beat rock and stupid human entertainments. His eyes widen and he blinks twice on seeing the dare, then glares at Dave. "THIS IS YOUR DOING, STRIDER, ISN'T IT?" "Madunno, I normally sign all my work with 'property of Dave Strider.' So if it doesn't say that..." Karkat glares at him.

Vriska smirks. "Tell us, Karkles, what did you get?" He shoots her a withering glare, then over-enunciates each word: "Get all up in the winner's business with a lap dance. Typical Strider." Vriska's smile falls away instantly. "Yeah. That's what just happened. How are all your fire-irons now? Wait, which one of you do I even...?" Vriska shoots you a look. You're tempted to just pull the troll boy over to you, but you'd also love to see Vriska embarrassed again. Rock-paper-scissors it is! One short round later, Karkat growls as he tells Vriska to lower her gogdamn legs so that she has a gogdamn lap, then does whatever he thinks is a lap dance.

And the room bursts out in laughter.

Now Karkat's embarrassed too, and Dave comes over to try and explain the art of the stripper performance, which ends with Karkat throwing a shoe at him and Vriska not sure where to look as Karkat's briefs-contained alien bulge starts waving dangerously close to her face. It's when he turns and sits on her that she gives up and bursts out in self-reproaching laughter. "Alright, fuck off now," she fumes, shoving him away and curling up again. Karkat walks off with a smirk, eyes shining like he somehow won some great moral victory. A chorus of cheers and catcalls follows him, not least from you.

Now what to do with this penalty card?


	14. Karkat Shuts His Mouth (Hand 27)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dramatic save, an unlikely outcome, and a deal gets struck.

Looking around, you think there's only one fair thing. Before Vriska can put her schemes into action, you toss it to Nepeta and Jane. "Time to join the rest of us Janey," you sing. Jane shoots a pleading look to Nepeta, who shakes her head. "AC already had her tuuuuuurn," she purrs, pouncing on Jane and yanking at her shirt. Jane closes her eyes tightly as her pleasantly round tummy comes into view, a bit of late-bloomer baby fat sharing space with some cozy cake-lover's love handles, and then well HOT DAMN GIRL WHERE YOU BEEN HIDING THOSE?

If there was any question as to which girl was most endowed up top, Jane has just conclusively put it to rest - only fair, since she's older than Aradia and has had more time to develop. You look down at your own boobs and feel a bit small in comparison, and you've got some of the best here! Those things are MOUNDS, big soft plushy ones by the look of it, even hidden in what appears to be a slightly snug white and blue striped bra. Jane covers herself with her arms, but it's clear that Jake got an eyeful before he averted his gaze, and you heard a low whistle and a "daaaaayum" from your ecto-son. 

You look at the four boys, giggling as you see their general state of consternation. It looks like Dave at least has just given up and is ogling to his heart's content; you imagine the shades help with that confidence. The others, though... Karkat is hiding his awkward uncertainty and quick peeks under his usual veneer of anger, while Jake and John are quickly running out of places to look that aren't the ceiling. Poor boys, it's only going to get worse. 

"Eight of spades," Vriska tells Aradia as the girls gather up the cards. Rose deals them out quickly.

You and Vriska have started with a pair of tens and an eight. Vriska grabs the cards and tosses two, getting back an additional eight, but not the one she wanted. Jade tosses two cards, Jane throws away two and then starts fretting in whispers to Nepeta. Dave dramatically tosses four cards, and Feferi grins as he shows her the results. Kanaya and John toss three cards and look stone-faced when the new ones hit. Terezi and Jake don't look happy with their cards either. Aradia and Rose take one.

"Very well, it's unlikely we've won this particular round..." Rose begins as you all turn over your hands.

You and Vriska have: Two pair, tens and eights  
Karkat and Jade have: Two pair, Kings and tens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Ace high, King kicker, and the penalty card!  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of Jacks  
Kanaya and John have: Queen high  
Terezi and Jake have: Ace high, Queen kicker  
Aradia and Rose have: Ace high, King kicker

"You two just don't have any luck," Rose murmurs sympathetically as she's sees John and Kanaya turn over their hand. The room goes quiet - they owe two, and they've both used their dares, so...

...until John DRAMATICALLY WHIPS OFF HIS GLASSES and hands them to Kanaya.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Vriska wails as Kanaya breaks out into a huge smile. Rose is smiling too, while Dave and Jake look impressed and the latter even gives a "Bully!" of commendation. Of course both of them have glasses themselves.

"So now, uh, I can take a second dare!" John says, smiling in relief. As he reads what he pulls from the jar, though, he goes pale.

"Come on," Vriska fumes impatiently, "tell us what it is!"

John looks over at Karkat and Jade and shakes his head. "Can I pick another dare?" A chorus of "no" assails him. He sighs and passes it over to Kanaya, who reads it with mild amusement. "Make out with both members of the winning team, it says. Getting around quickly, aren't you?" she snarks. But Jade has blanched now too and is covering her mouth with her hands. Karkat looks confused until he checks the cards again, then he starts freaking out too. "Eww no, I don't want Egbert anywhere near us ME anywhere near ME." Jade is just chanting a muffled "No, no, no..."

You're feeling sad now. This one doesn't seem funny or sexy. Maybe it's time to pull the plug. "We can shtop here, I gueshh," you slur, covering Vriska's mouth when she tries to say something. Rose is already nodding, as is Dave. You're all cut off, though, by a loud "WAIT!" from Jade, 

"Wait," she says again. "We knew something like this could happen when we agreed," she hesitates, "so it's not fair to back out now." Jane reaches over and give her arm a squeeze. Karkat shakes his head. "I'm not letting Egbert kiss me!" John walks over to him, grinning. "You're just afraid my technique is better." THAT got him mad. "Yes, clearly my insecurity makes me a ripe fucking target for your incredibly strategic reverse psychology," Karkat snipes. "Suit yourself," John shrugs, "but I heard this troll kid say I had the moves right and I didn't see you kissing anyone recently, so, uh..." "FINE, you want to see real expertise?" Karkat stands, "I'll show YOU." And it's on, the two of them irritably mashing face, almost wrestling as one tries to dip the other. And there's the backflip as Karkat slips free of John's embrace and tries to tip him instead. Trip! Down they go. Now people are cheering for one over the other, while Nepeta, eyes wide, is covering her mouth with her hands and blushing bright olive. They're on the floor now, each trying to pin the other... annnnd now they're jsut hate-waggling their tongues at each other in midair, as aggressively as possible. Vriska has found the whole thing immensely amusing and calls "Time!" when it's clear that neither boy wants to be seen as the loser. John and Karkat break their gladiatorial embrace and stare at each other for a moment, huffing and puffing. Then suddely - "AGH!" "ECH! "EWW" "BLEUGH" annnd they're split, spitting and gargling punch. Silly boys, you need something alcoholic if you want a mouthwash effect. Wait...

Dave is ironically holding up a placard with a "10" on it, while Jake is commenting on the odd spot of "lingual jousting" that has just ensued. Apart from Nepeta, it doesn't seem like anyone was particularly titillated by the sight of the two going at it. Karkat sits back down, grumbling about "show YOU who knows more kissing techniques..." as Jade, looking less stressed now, crawls over to John, giving you a great view of her green-colored backside and long legs. She crawls up on his lap, causing his eyes to widen. "You s-sure?" John asks. In response, Jade kisses him, pulling back with an "ow" and a shared laugh - oh, they hit their teeth together, didn't they? - before trying again, tilting her head a bit this time. Jade begins to shift, knees to either side of John, as they sink to the floor, one of her hands on his chest and the other holding his hand on her hip near the hem of her panties. Jade is lying atop John, her hips moving slightly in contact with his boxers, and hands start moving. You're not the only one tilting your head at the display. Dave's jaw is agape, Karkat looks irate and envious in equal measure, and Rose...

Aw man, that's a heartbreaking look on daughtermom's face. Shouldn't she know that this isn't really a thing? They're ecto-siblings, after all. Nonetheless, as you see Nepeta staring boldly at Karkat's crotch, you start to think maybe the level of out-of-hand at play here might be getting a bit high. Feferi has a hand between her legs and one at her lips, Aradia is watching with great interest and Terezi seems to be greatly enjoying whatever it is she smells from them. You swipe the timer from a completely inattentive Vriska and, looking at Rose again, shout "Time!"

They don't break it up immediately, so Kanaya taps Jade on the shoulder, then gives a little tug. The makeout breaks apart, both of them covered in sweat and quite disheveled. Kanaya reaches over to Jade's front and does something you can't see as John sits up, looking highly embarrassed, and shifts to cover himself. Jade stands and goes back over to Karkat, so red you can't see her freckles. She's still breathing pretty raggedly there. Karkat pipes up to break the tension.

"So we need some better rules for these stupid dares, cause Strider and English have glasses, but I don't. I'm down to my modesty flap here. And the girls with glasses shouldn't get an extra one, either." You're inclined to agree, but Vriska, slurring slightly, is one step ahead of you. "Fine, fine," she drawls, "the girls can't use glasses, and you get an exshtra dare, if you shuuuuuuuut it with the complaining." Karkat opens his mouth, but a "hear hear" from Jade and Terezi silences him. He glares but wisely keeps his mouth shut. There's only one more piece of business...


	15. Chocolate (Hand 28-29)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chocolate sauce and a bit of light bondage enter the fray as more dares are drawn.

Nepeta and Jane have a quick rock-paper-scissors, which the troll girl loses. Nepeta stands and Jade helps her shimmy out of her baggy pants. She's actually rather short, even shorter than Feferi, you think, but her legs are slim and muscular, toned in a way you admire. She kicks them around in the air playfully as the pants come clear. Her olive-green boy-short panties aren't particularly titillating but you see a few eyes wander up those incredibly fit calves and thighs before pretending nothing of the sort was happening. Unlike most, she actually seems more comfortable now, but you suppose she's used to high mobility and her baggy pants and coat are probably fairly encumbering. Vriska gathers up the cards and looks at Karkat, who says "Jack of spades" without further comment.

Jade tosses two cards, Nepeta and Jade trade three, and Feferi swaps two. Kanaya takes the cards from John, looks at them, and discards one. Terezi licks the cards thoughtfully, then whispers to Jake, who trades one card while declaring "Go big or go home!" They grin as she tastes the new card. Aradia trades two, but Rose looks frustrated when she sees them. As for you and Vriska... Q J 5 5 4. Not great, but a start. You agree to toss the four, but all you get is a four back. Alright then... "LET'SH SHEE THE CARDSH!" you blurt.

Karkat and Jade have: Pair of nines  
Nepeta and Jane have: Two pair, aces and tens  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of aces  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of sevens  
Terezi and Jake have: Flush in spades, and the penalty card!  
Aradia and Rose have: Queen high  
You and Vriska have: Pair of fives

Well that was closer than you might like. Of course, Aradia and Rose are in a pickle now. "One each?" Aradia asks her partner, who nods. Rose whispers to Aradia, and then stands. "Dave, you may wish to look away," she warns, turning to face John. Aradia stands with her, putting her fingers under the straps of the smaller girl's bra and slowly pulling them away from Rose's shoulders. Daughtermom is blushing slightly but has her gaze locked on John, who it seems can't look away. From Kanaya's wide-eyed look, you think she's enjoying her position in the circle quite a bit right now. Aradia's hands pull apart the clasp at the back of the black bra, but hold onto the ends so that it doesn't fall away. Rose slips her own hands under the cups as Aradia slowly lowers it to her waist before gently pulling it away. Keeping herself covered, she turns slowly and sits back down, modesty maintained as Aradia sits in front of her.

The troll girl's presentation is quite different, as Rose simply undoes the clasp and lets it fall free, Aradia catching it in the front and remaining decent momentarily before she bends forward, giving the rest of the circle a view you're sad to miss as she lowers he hand and lets her boobs hang free. You see them as she sits back up, though, and they are glorious. Deep wine-colored nipples stand out fat and proud at the ends, no sag at all. Aradia tosses the garment and sits back, clearly enjoying the attention.

Terezi and Jake are looking around the circle; they have a penalty card to give out. Terezi points at Feferi and Dave. "Alright you two, you've been getting off easy so far. Your turn for a little fun," she grins. Feferi smiles and reaches for the dare jar, but Dave stops her. "Let's save that until we really need it," he tells her, and she reaches for his shades instead. Dave's red eyes come into view and he squints in the light of the room. No more hiding his looks now! "Shouldn't have done that, Dave, now I'll catch you peeking!" Jade teases as she collects the cards. Dave looks like he wants to fire back, but some of the confidence has left him along with the shades.

"Let's make it his highness the King of Hearts," Jake tells you.

Jane looks fairly happy with her hand, swapping only one card. Feferi whispers to Dave, who dramatically throws away their whole hand. John and Kanaya drop two, Terezi follows suit but doesn't look happy, and Aradia trades three cards. You and Vriska... "Gogdammit," she complains in a whisper, "this is the worst fucking hoofbeastmanure..." and it really is: 9 6 5 3 2. Vriska throws everything except the nine, and you make a pair. Finally, your dealers for the round swap one.

Nepeta and Jane have: Two pair, sixes and fives  
Feferi and Dave have: Two pair, Kings and Queens, and the penalty card!  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of aces  
Terezi and Jake have: Ace high  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of Jacks  
You and Vriska have: Pair of nines  
Karkat and Jade have: Straight, Jack-high

"Wow..." Dave mutters, "lost with Kings up..." Feferi shrugs and smiles. The impish princess loves to see the pot stirred, you bet. Of course, there are bigger losers this round: Terezi and Jake. Terezi shakes her head in annoyance and stands up so that Jake can help her with the pants; he's so much taller that he can do it sitting down. The zipper comes open and Jake shimmies them down, revealing a black tanga-style panty with a wide red lacy hem. Terezi's hips flare out nicely and although she isn't the tallest, she's got nice legs. As she sits down, you see a flash of cheek - the panties don't quite cover her butt all the way. 

"You owe one more," Vriska reminds them, and they look askance at one another. "Shall we put it to the winners?" Jake asks, but before Terezi can protest both Jade and Karkat say "Terezi!" Whoops. Oh well. Better luck next time, Pyrope. The jar goes around and she reaches in, licking along the paper. She chuckles as she finishes. "Sounds like something I would have come up with. Jade, can you get me some - " she's cut off as a bottle of chocolate sauce appears out of thin air. Only one way she could have known that. You catch her eye and she giggles. Bus-ted! "Alright," Terezi continues a bit more hesitantly, "now I just have to pour some of this on myself and then, ah, my partner has to lick it all off." "Has to pardon me?" Jake wasn't expecting that. "Now see here, it's dirty pool to keep roping others into dares like this. I won't be a poor sport about it, mind, I just think it's a bit off the spirit is all." Terezi struggles a bit with the squeeze bottle as she tries to aim it at a spot on her belly, causing it to zip out of control and giving her a thin strip of chocolate sauce from her face down to her panties.

"Well, ahhh, you'd better get started..." she tells Jake hesitantly. He frowns, but leans over and obligingly starts at her belly. Immediately Terezi arches slightly, goosebumps rising, and lets out a gasp. He keeps going upward, skipping over her boobs and cleaning up around her collarbone with his tongue, causing more gasps and a long "ohh" as he has to go under the chin. He pauses for a moment to swallow. "Good gravy that's quite a bit of chocolate," Jake gripes before continuing. He licks a drop off from under her eye, and then has to go for the spot on her mouth. As he licks, her lips part and for a moment, they're MAKING YOU EXTREMELY JEALOUS HOT DAMN. You shoot a look at Jane, who looks like you could fry an egg on her head. Then Jake breaks the kiss with a brusque "Apologies, didn't mean to take liberties," which Terezi waves off distractedly. "No, no, you... ahh... you take whatever you need." Now Dave's doing the Rose Expressionless Mask thing. He's not taking his eyes away, though.

Jake proceeds to gingerly lick at the chocolate staining her teal bra, sucking up a dab on her right breast just above the cup. Terezi is squirming again, and not from any ice this time. Finally it's down to a stripe on her thigh, which elicits an adorable squeak from the blind troll, and then... "Ahem. I'll just do this last bit," Jake says awkwardly, before leaning down to her panties and licking just above the hem, then onto the black cloth itself. Terezi is fidgeting madly as he finishes and sits back, drinking some punch to wash down the chocolate. She covers herself with both hands, pretending to feel for chocolate stains. Yeah, that's definitely why you're feeling yourself. Keep at it.

Karkat looks irate and jealous, but he's still bound by his deal and not allowed to say anything. Instead he glares at Dave and Feferi. "So what about you two?" "I'll go," Feferi volunteers, reaching into the jar. "Tie your hands behind your back. They stay tied until you win a hand. Your partner has to be your hands at all times." That's... well, as Feferi giggles and Dave blinks, you realize how fun that could get. Who did that, though? Well, by process of elimination, since it wasn't Vriska's... annnd there's the cool impassive look from daughtermom. Not going to admit it, are we? Dave gets a discarded sock and uses it to bind Feferi's wrists, sitting behind her so that he can do all the arm-type things. She leans back into him and fidgets, giggling as he mouths "what the hell?"

"We're almost out of dares," you warn, looking at the jar where only Vriska's remains. "We'll have to top them off after next hand, probably." "We should probably do it right now," Vriska points out, "since a bad hand could call for two. How bout: next player to get a dare takes that one," she fishes it out, "and we'll fill this with new dares. Let's see if we can't get a few naughtier ideas this time, maybe?" she finished with a fangy grin.


	16. It's About Damn Time (Hand 30)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the players accomplishes her goals.

This time, everyone looks to be pondering hard. What to write, what to write... oh man, this is gonna get steamy in a big hurry. Others are blushing as they scribble things down, except for Feferi. She's a wild card, that one. Into the jar they go, as Nepeta collects up the cards, looking to Jade for the penalty card. "Um, sssseven of clubs?" And here we go...

With Dave as her hands, Feferi exchanges one card. Kanaya and John follow suit, with Jake following up with another "GOING FOR BROKE" and looking disappointed with the second card. Aradia and Rose don't seem to be doing any better with their three-card exchange. You have a pair of Jacks and an ace... time to swap two cards and see if you can trade up. A pair of threes isn't the best but you'll take it. Jade swaps two, seemingly goading an aghast Karkat to complain, but he somehow manages to stay mute. Nepeta, grinning a big Cheshire cat smile, swaps a single card.

Feferi and Dave have: Pair of eights  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of Queens  
Terezi and Jake have: King high, eight kicker  
Aradia and Rose have: King high, ten kicker  
You and Vriska have: Two pair, Jacks and threes  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Jacks  
Nepeta and Jane have: Set of fours

Jane blanches for a moment as the penalty card is nowhere no be seen, but you hear Nepeta reminding her that only one teammate needs to be down to their underwear to provide immunity. Rose heaves an obvious sigh of relief - that was too close. Terezi and Jake... well, here you go. Jaske nods idly to Terezi. "S'pose it's my turn to take a dare, so I'll get the last of the old ones..." he scans it. "Hm. Looks like I'm bound for a rousing course of, ah, 'sloppy' makeouts with the partner of the winners' choice. Who's it going to be, ladies?" he beams obliviously.

Oh shit Janey, you just hit the jackpot. You've got all your ducks lined up in a row now, as long as you don't fuck it up. You hear a tiny squeak out of her, and Jake politely asks "come again?" "Me," Jane manages to cough out, blushing furiously and covered in goosebumps. Jake's eyebrows raise. "You want... to make out with me?"

Annnnnd just like that, the dam breaks and she's on top of him, whacking him with a discarded sock. "OF COURSE, YOU BIG LUMMOX, I'VE WANTED TO DO SLOPPY MAKEOUTS WITH YOU FOREVER AND YOU NEVER EVER GOT IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL-LOVING SKULL BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST SO - " and then she's kissing the ever-loving brains out of him, hands on both sides of his head and eyes tightly shut. Jake's eyes go wide, then slowly close as he wraps his arms around her and leans up and suddenly she seems very small, enrobed by a big hunk of beefcake, drowning in dream-guy, her hands feeling everywhere, going low, recoiling and going back up. Hips pressing into his, starting to get a bit more rhythmic, as she guides one of his hands behind her and appears to be loosening goddamn girl slow your roll, your ecto-kids are right over there!

The show is having an effect, with several of the girls squeezing their legs together or squirming and Dave's eyes totally popped, thoroughly ogling the crap out of the hot scene you're all party to. Even Jade looks like she's far more into it than she'd like. Only Karket appears to be totally outside the spell, and he coughs loudly. Vriska whirls on him, but he shakes his head. "That makeout looks like it has achieved sloppy level," is all he says, evading the penalty for complaining. The room his hot and sweaty as Jake comes up for air, smears of lipstick on his face. He holds Jane as she cools down, still breathing heavily, and keeps her modest as she resettles herself, fixing her straps and rehooking her bra before smoothing down her skirt and returning to her spot. Her glasses are fogged.

"GO JANEY!" you cheer her, causing another flush. This calls for more punch, most definitely. Jake caps it off by asking Terezi to take off his glasses in order to pay off the second count. Stupid sexy English looks even better without his lenses, somehow. With no penalty card to hit anyone, you all shake off the trance of the round and go for more punch. This can only end extremely well. It's almost all gone, too! By the time you sit back down, Dave has collected the cards and is dealing from his perch behind Feferi. Nepeta calls "six of diamonds" for penalty card, and it's off to the races, all of you conscious of the fact that this round is almost guaranteed to result in more skin.


	17. Ten-Second Makeout (Hand 31-32)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody gets to participate in a shared experience, and someone pulls a dare with the potential to go very, very right.

John and Kanaya trade three cards, Terezi tosses one, and Aradia discards three. You and Vriska have a pair of eights and a King... "We can do better," Vriska says as she tosses the other two cards, getting back a Jack and an ace. Jade swaps a single card, Nepeta throws out two, and Fefedave does likewise to finish it out. 

Kanaya and John have: Pair of sevens  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of fours  
Aradia and Rose have: Ace high  
You and Vriska have: Pair of eights  
Karkat and Jade have: Two pair, nines and eights  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Kings  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of Queens

Rose sighs as the cards come down. "Shall I go first?" she asks Aradia, but her partner already has the dare jar out. "Ten second makeout with every other player? Alright," Aradia says as she turns to an unready Rose and pulls her forward, crushing lips and boobs together. Rose's eyes are wide through the whole ten seconds, and she gasps when Aradia pulls away, only just barely remembering to cover herself. Next she leans the other way, pulling herself onto Vriska and making your partner squirm as she teases just under the cup of Vriska's bra with a finger. The curvy troll slides off Vriska and climbs you, naked boobs pushing against you as she leans in. You close your eyes to savor the experience as her tongue slips just past your lips and back, her hands guiding yours to her soft hips. You melt into her and NO, GODDAMMIT, GET BACK HERE bah ten seconds is too short.

Now she's on Jade, red on green as their hips press together, the smaller girl's skinny frame seeming overwhelmed by Aradia's more womanly figure. When they break, Jade gasps and giggles. "That was fun!" she tells Aradia, who smiles and moves over to Karkat. The boy troll looks almost frantic but is clearly trying to stifle any innate urge to complain, knowing his undies are on the line. Poor Karkat doesn't seem to know what to do with himself as Aradia straddles him, pushing him to the ground and running a finger down one of his short horns. She lets out a little "oh!" that's somehow the cutest thing ever, and when she rolls off of him you can see why - the bulge in Karkat's briefs is tenting basically straight up and easily the biggest you can remember seeing tonight. Jade looks down at it, blushing and giggling, as a furiously embarrassed Karket puts his hands over it and sits cross-legged to try and hide it.

Jane leans forward demurely, eyes closed and lips puckered, but Aradia is having none of it, pulling the shorter girl into a passionate kiss and boldly squeezing her boob over the cup. Jane looks a bit frazzled when she comes back up for air, while the troll comments "wow," and moves onto Nepeta. The tiny troll girl is already squirming and actually pounces Aradia as she starts to crawl over, pinning her to the ground and pressing up against her. She's quite a bit shorter than Aradia, but taut and lithe, though her "makeout" style seems to involve a shotgunning of kisses in the general right area instead of a consistent liplock. Nepeta finishes with a long kiss right on target and leaps back to her spot, grinning. "AC likes how soft your meowth is," she purrs at the lowblood.

Dave seems to think he's ready for this. Poor boy, you're so not. Feferi leans away from him so that Aradia can get in, and while Dave's still trying to talk the troll silences him with a fierce kiss. Feferi moves away so that Aradia can straddle him, which she does with gusto, pushing her hips into his. Suddenly Feferi leans over and lightly bites Aradia's arm. "I fink it's my turn," she chirps, hands still tied. Aradia leans over, still on Dave's lap, and the tiny troll princess seems to melt under her, forcing the bigger girl to turn over in order to keep it going. Feferi's boobs get a squeeze as well. When Aradia finishes and dismounts Dave, he's hiding his lap with his hands as well, and Feferi nuzzles back into him with a very satisfied glint in her eye. You note that Dave's getting more and more flustered, and then you remember exactly where Feferi's hands are tied. Oh dear.

Kanaya is next, and she looks ready for Aradia. Almost shyly, she reaches out to touch the bigger girl as Aradia crawls over, leaning in softly without taking her other hand out of John's boxers. There's a bulge in there getting more conspicuous as well. Aradia pulls Kanaya's free hand up to her boob, where Kanaya softly thumbs her nipple. When the kiss breaks, Aradia has a couple of dots of blood on her lower lip and Kanaya is breathing deeply. Her eyes follow and she smirks slightly as John gets the full treatment, up on his lap and with her boobs pressed right into him. Kanaya leans in and whispers something, and when the kiss breaks John snorts in amusement and Aradia giggles.

Terezi finds out it's her turn when Aradia pulls her in; the smaller girl just sort of limply sinks into Aradia's embrace, before reaching up to hold the sides of her head and gaining some leverage to kiss back, hard. Terezi sighs deeply when Aradia pulls away, whispering "raspberries..." and then she's at the end of the circle, finally looking small next to Jake English. who hedges, looking at Jane, before Aradia pulls herself up and slowly rotates her hips as she gets her ten seconds' worth with the final boy in the circle. Goddamn lucky girl. When it's over, however, neither of them seems particularly hot and bothered. Jake calmly adjusts himself and says "That was nice," to Aradia pleasantly. She smiles and goes back to her seat next to Rose, who reaches into the dare jar.

"Oh dear. This can only be trouble," she shakes her head ruefully. "Keep this card. After anyone else does a dare, you must do it as well if possible. Who do I have to thank for this?" "Mine," Kanaya acknowledges. "Oh yes, thanks for my dare too!" Aradia calls. "You're welcome," Jane says distractedly. John collects the cards to deal as Karkat declares "four of spades."

Jake swaps out two, Aradia and Rose try one, and you and Vriska... uh oh. J 10 8 7 5. Too risky to go for a straight, no reasonable flush draw... you toss three cards and hope for the best. YES, a 10! That should be enough. Karkat swaps one, Nepeta and Jane take two, Feferi and Dave stay with their hand. Kanaya and John look apprehensive, but do likewise.

"So, uh, let's see if we lost then," John opens.

Terezi and Jake have: Pair of Kings  
Aradia and Rose have: Set of nines  
You and Vriska have: Pair of tens  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of sevens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of aces  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of Queens  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of eights

John whistles. That was close for them. Karkat glares at Jane, who reaches for the dare jar. "I guess it can be my turn, Karkat," she says, pulling a slip from the jar. "Well this isn't so bad. Keep this card. When you go out, you have to sit on the winner's lap until they lose a hand. Okay!" Vriska smirks. "That's right Jade, you're a priiiiiiiize." "Not if I don't lose!" Jade fires back with a grin as Jake gathers the cards. That was an uneventful round. Aradia calls "Ace of Hearts!" Troublemaker. You giggle and wink at her.


	18. Feferi Is The Worst (Hand 32)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another dare becomes complicated thanks to a fishy scheme.

Aradia and Rose trade three cards, looking immensely relieved with their third. You and Vriska have A 10 4 3 2. "Gotta win gotta win GOING FOR IT" Vriska shouts, throwing away the ten before you can stop her. And gets back a 2. At least it's a pair. Karkat turns red as he sees the three cards Jade gets back. Uh oh. Nepeta doesn't swap any cards, Feferi and Dave trade three, Kanaya and John toss one, and the dealers exchange two.

"What do you have?" Terezi cackles. Someone's feeling confident.

Aradia and Rose have: Pair of Jacks  
You and Vriska have: Pair of twos  
Karkat and Jade have: King high, Queen kicker  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Kings  
Feferi and Dave have: King high, ten kicker  
Kanaya and John have: Two pair, Queens and sixes  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of sevens

"Oh dang," Dave says flatly. "Who could have seen that coming." Feferi chuckles softly. "Fine, let's get this over with. Lessee here... make the player across from you moan, using only your mouth?" He looks across the circle to a mildly horrified Vriska, sitting next to Rose. "I could probably get that done with some particularly rancid ill beats, right Serket?" She rolls her eyes as he walks over and sits in front of her, a confused look on his face. "Get on with it," she tells him brusquely.

"If I knew you were so hot for a piece of Strider I would've been over here long ago," Dave deadpans. "But, uh... let's see. Maybe you..." he leans in, and she hisses at him, but he ignores her and leans in close, whispering. You're close enough to hear: "Watch John." Vriska's eyes widen and she starts, "What - " but Dave cuts her off with a quick, deep kiss, biting her lip as he releases and then kissing down her neck toward her chest. "W-wait..." she mutters shyly as Dave's head goes between the small cerulean cups, moving to kiss the slight swell of flesh above each. He leans back up, locking eyes with her, before going down again, this time kissing down her belly. "Would be great if a couple of someones weren't watching this," he mumbles as he gets close to the hemline of her blue panties. Oh right. Aheh. You look away and busy yourself with seeing others looking. Terezi is inhaling deeply and seems a bit agitated. John is watching the action intently, as is Kanaya. Feferi has a sneaky look... what's she up to? Jade is alternating between irritably not watching and sneaking glances every so often. As Vriska gasps, you sneak one yourself - she's blushing and Dave's head is riiiight where you expected it to be, panty fabric parted slightly. Vriska's kness come together around his head as she gasps and gasps and finally there it is, the moan, her eyes locked on John. Dave sits up, Vriska angrily blushing and looking away. He leans in, kisses her again, getting some blood drawn from his lip for his troubles and a muttered "fuck you, Strider," to which he dryly responds "anytime, Vriska." Feferi moves to the side as Dave comes to sit down, effectively switching places with him. But... oh. Oh you didn't.

"Rose," Feferi sings, "don't you have to do every dare now too?" "Oh yes," daughtermom remembers. Jade's dare didn't actually do anything, you understand how she could forget, but... "Goddammit Feferi," she mutters. You count around just to be sure - yep. No mistaking it. Between Rose and Aradia having gotten transposed after Aradia's Makeout Tour and Dave and Feferi swapping now... "Oh fuck no," Dave protests. "Come on Peixes, that's the opposite of awesome. Look," he fake groans, "she got me okay? We're done?" Rose sighs at him. "Shut up Strider, let's get this over with." She stands and walks across to him, then looks back at Aradia as she sits. "Using only my mouth?" Aradia nods. Aha, so that's who was behind it. Rose moves behind Dave and leans in next to his ear. Softly, but loud enough that everyone can hear, she purrs into his ear: "Are you sure, Dave? Are you sure this is the opposite of awesome?" "Yeah, I'm 100% motherfOW what the fuck" "Every time you talk, Dave, I'm going to bite you," she says as her teeth clear his earlobe. "I don't know where I'll be when that happens, so maybe you should just..." she exhales in his ear, "keep quiet."

Rose slides next to him, not touching at all, mouth still next to his ear. "You're enjoying all of this, aren't you Dave?" she continues, "You can't look away from anything, even when you think you want to. You're loving it, and not," she blows on the side of his neck, "in an ironic way, either. No, you love it because you're just... so..." puff "hhhorny. And everyone here..." she moves behind him to the other ear, "is so hot. Isn't that what you're thinking, Dave? Kissing Aradia, that was so hot. Seeing her kiss the other girls - you couldn't take your eyes off of it all. You were..." long, slow puff "shhhhuddering when you heard Terezi say 'raspberries,' weren't you?"

Dave's looking frantic under a thin veneer of coolkid, his eyes darting back and forth as he tries to figure out where his ecto-sister will be next. Her lips are a hair away from touching his skin. "You think John's mom is so hot, Dave. You watched her make out with Jake and you wanted run back to your room and," puff "jack off. You wanted to be Jake right then. He looks like John, kind of, if John were even more like what you imagine him as. I remember," puff "all the ironic" puff "things you said about," she leans right into his ear, licking it and making him twitch, "John. How many were true?"

She's switching sides again. "When Kanaya had to put her hand down John's boxers, didn't you wish that was you? And then your partner, with her hands," puff "tied up, what has she been doing to Little Dave behind her back? You didn't even know you wanted her," Rose breathes into his ear. "Then you got to put your head between Vriska's thighs. What did she," Rose clicks her teeth, "TASTE like? Were you imagining someone else, when you were down there? Practicing? Someone you don't want to admit you like?" She switches ears again. "She can't see you, Dave, she doesn't know when you look at her," Terezi perks up and looks over. "She doesn't know how you look at her, how" puff "you're looking at her right now. Hoping she picked out those black panties just for you. She licks things to see, you know. Licks," puff "to see," puff. Dave is covered in goosebumps as Rose's breath runs across his spine. "But what if there's someone who objects? Someone," click "crabby. You like to argue with him. You like spending time with him. You like seeing him like this. What if he does?" puff "What if... you have to... " breath "shaaare?" Shudder. Karkat's eyes are bulging. "And then there's hhhher," another lick on the ear, Dave fidgeting, in a state you can only imagine from here. "Long legs, and green panties. You practiced for her, didn't you Dave? How many nights did you spend jacking off, thinking of Jade?" The girl so named blushes deeply, "Stop it - " Dave starts, but Rose bites him again, just like she promised she would. "You loved watching John make out with her, even as you wished it were you. You didn't even know which one you wanted to be," puff "but you were so" puff "turned on, so hhhorny. Because you're messed up, Dave. You're a," puff "pervert. They're brother and," breath "sssister, but you watched and you loved it. You watched our mom strip too, Dave."

His eyes widen and his breath has gone shallow. "You watched those stockings come off, the skirt, the shirt... every time she moves, you try and see more of her, even as you tell yourself it's," puff "wrong. So," puff " very," click "wrong. She's a teenager, Dave, and she's curvy and leggy and she's been watching you, too," he shudders and you blush, "but you didn't want to know that. Because, Dave," puff, "you're already so horny for your sister," click, "sitting here, topless, in her panties. You could have moaned any time you wanted to, Dave, gotten off picturing anything you liked, but you're holding it," puff "hoping your own sister puts her mouth on you in places you've only dreamed of. You're staring at your mother, hoping your best friends' incestuous kissing means your sister will put her mouth on your penis," she moves in front of him, he shudders hard. "And you know what, Dave? I'm going to. Because it gets you so," puff "hhhot." Rose bends down, pulling at the waistband of Dave's boxers with her teeth, and right as her lips touch shaft Dave goes off, grabbing at his crotch with both hands and mumbling "ohfuckohfuckohfuck" over and over again. Dave hurriedly stands, still shaking, and runs off to the bathroom, as Rose returns to her seat.

The room is thick with tension, Rose having spoken some things everyone was thinking but nobody else would have said. Terezi, Jade and Karkat all slip a hand out from between their own legs, while Vriska looks hot and bothered and Feferi is practically beaming with glee. John's sporting an incredibly confused expression and a full mast in his underwear, which it looks like Kanaya has been absentmindedly stroking as she jumps and her fingers slip back to the waistband. Rose composes herself, crossing her legs, and you decide to pretend that you didn't notice a wet spot as she walked. You're still running a finger lightly over the front of your own panties.

"Wait... Rose, does Dave want to pounce AC too?" Nepeta asks suddenly, and the room breaks into laughs as Rose dryly responds "oh probably." "Nicely done, Rose," Aradia applauds as you burst out "WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?" a question you've been dying to blurt out since she started. Rose colors mildly. "Therapist power?" she suggests. She's not looking all that composed herself. Good lord, how did all these kids get so randy so fast? Did someone put something in the punch? Jade looks over at Rose. "Rose, is that true? What you said?" Rose blinks. "You should ask Strider," she replies, her gaze going to John as she colors again. John and Kanaya share an aside glance. Dave comes back into the room silently and sits behind Feferi again.


	19. How To Remove A Bra (Hand 33-34)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a few more tops to join the pile of discarded clothing, and some unexpected additions enter play.

"My turn!" Feferi chirps. Oh right, she's got a bra to sacrifice. And with her hands tied behind her... "Come on Dave, help me out here!" "Right, yeah... I forgot how important it is that we rush to share your royal chesticles with all present," Dave tries to regain some composure. "Did you want to keep them all to yourself?" she teases him. Dave colors and busies himself trying to figure out how to unhook a bra. Eventually he manages to find it. Of course, all he's done is give himself a topographical puzzle to solve. The troll princess raises an eyebrow and gives a dry smile as her partner tries to solve the problem, eventually resorting to lifting the bra up and over and letting it slide down to where her wrists are tied. Feferi's goods look soft and pert, smaller than yours with fuchsia nipples that are currently very stiff indeed.

"Aren't we supposed to be playing a game?" Karkat pipes up. "Also you won, Kanaya, you don't have to keep your hand in Egbert's modesty flap any more." Kanaya appears surprised. "Oh, yes. We did win. I think the penalty card will be the Queen of Hearts." She slips her fingers out from John's boxers, giving his knee a quick squeeze. He smiles at her. Rose collects the cards and deals them out.

Not a bad start! Pair of sixes, Queen, Jack... you throw the spare card and get back a Jack. Nice! Karkat exchanges two cards, as does Jane, Dave throws four, Kanaya (her hand finally free!) swaps three and Terezi and Jake are looking incredibly smug as they exchange nothing. Aradia and Rose swap a single card.

You and Vriska have: Two pair, Jacks and sixes  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of nines  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of aces  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of fives  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of Kings  
Terezi and Jake have: Tens full of sixes  
Aradia and Rose have: Set of fours.

"Well damn," Dave mutters. "Oh rats," Feferi giggles. "My turn for a dare, then?" Dave nods and pulls out a slip so she can read it. "Ooh!" she chirps. "I get to dress up! Jade, I need a pair of long black stockings - well, long on me," she raises a short leg, "and a miniskirt. Something hot. I have to put on the stockings and swap my panties for the skirt," she explains to the rest of you. Swap? Oh it was definitely a boy who came up with this. You scan the room - THERE'S a guilty-looking Egbert. Vriska squawks angrily, but Feferi cuts her off: "It says the stockings don't count as clothes. I'll still be down to my last out." Jade brings the clothes over, but Feferi indicates her still-tied hands. "I need Dave to get me out of my panties," she says with a sultry voice, the effect spoiled by her wide grin. Dave sighs. "How did I ever think you were the innocent one?" he complains, earning another giggle as the princess stands and lifts a leg. Dave gingerly rolls the stockings onto her legs, then secures the miniskirt before reaching underneath and carefully sliding the panties down. "Don't forget about Rose," Terezi pipes up, but Dave sits back down with Feferi, who carefully arranges her legs so that she's not flashing anyone. "I get to do this myself," Rose reminds her. Jade transports another pair of stockings and a small purple miniskirt, and Rose stands, facing John, as she rolls them up her legs, puts on the skirt, then shimmies out of her black panties and lets them slide down her legs. She kicks them off, managing to get them to land square on the gawking face of John Egbert, who promptly flails about like he's never handled underwear before. Kanaya rolls her eyes and plucks the offending garment off of John's head.

"Well, this has been all kinds of extremely inappropriate things involving my ecto-sis to an extreme extent," Dave mutters, "but Fef and I need to win a hand to win her hands, so can we...?" "RIGHT, OF COURSHE! OUR DEAL!" you belt out. Wow, rein it in, Roxy. No need to be that loud. Vriska helps you collect the cards, and takes them from you to deal when you drop a few. "King of diamonds!" Jake calls.

Karkat trades two, Jane trades four, Feferi and Dave trade one, Kanaya and John grin widely at one another and trade nothing. Jake swaps two cards, Aradia three, and now it's you and Vriska. With a pair of fours. You throw the other three cards, but it makes no difference. You'd better hope someone failed to make a pair.

Karkat and Jade have: Two pair, Queens and tens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Jacks  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of sevens  
Kanaya and John have: Nines full of Kings, and the penalty card!  
Terezi and Jake have: Set of eights  
Aradia and Rose have: Set of threes  
You and Vriska have: Pair of fours

"I sh'poshe it wash our turn," you cackle. "Which one of us - " "I'LL GO," Vriska declares quickly. You give her a sly look. Oho, that's right, the winner has to undress her. And John just won. Ooh, but so did Kanaya, and the two of them are sharing a grin as they crawl across the floor toward Vriska. As her eyes dart back and forth nervously between the two of them, each reaches up and teases the bottom hem of her bra with a finger, then takes a strap and slides it down her shoulder. Vriska shuts her eyes tightly as John moves behind her and Kanaya sits on her lap, almost kissing her but deliberately just letting her fangs make the briefest contact with the taller troll's lips before pulling back, Vriska snapping at empty air. The scheme seems to go sideways when once again John can't figure out how to work a bra. Kanaya shoots him a "seriously?" look from around Vriska's head, and you chuckle and reach over to help him. Flick! There you go. John gives a sheepish grin as he snakes his arms around Vriska, causing her to let out a little squeak. Kanaya slides her hands under the cups as John lifts the garment up Vriska's arms and off. Vriska's hands immediately fly to cover herself and she breaks out of her trance, hissing at Kanaya and swatting her away. "Nice work, partner!" John cheers Kanaya. "You as well, partner." They crawl back to their spots, laughing as if at some private joke. Which, you suppose, they kind of are.

"Now let us see," Kanaya says, tapping the King of Diamonds on her lip in mock thought. "We COULD give this to Serket and Roxy, since the instigators of our little game haven't suffered nearly enough yet... I don't think it's fair to use it for an elimination..." she smiles slyly. "But I see someone who's been getting a bit too lucky all game. Jane, this is coming to you." "Me?" Jane squeaks nervously. "What about Nepeta?" "AC has already purrvided more clothes to the pile than you," Kanaya says, getting an approving grin from Nepeta. "It is of course her choice... but you may as well give in now." Nepeta nods. "Sorry, purrtner, AC says GA is right!"

John shoots Kanaya an awkward look. "Uh, I didn't... agree to that..." but Kanaya bops him on the head. "You humans are really going to have to get over yourselves," she tells him drily. "There are only eight of you left who care about your strange interpersonal taboos, and four of you have already openly broken them just tonight." As John rubs his head and Karkat joins on in the bashing of ridiculous Earth mating restrictions, your eyes are on your best friend as a cat troll pulls off her skirt, revealing slightly chubby thighs and curvy hipsas well as conservative white cotton panties with a bit of blue lace trim. Jane pulls her legs up to hide herself as best as she can.

"Nine of hearts," Kanaya calls as Jade gathers up the cards for a deal. Jane and Nepeta swap two cards but look quite unhappy with the results (well, Jane does at least). Dave tosses two, Kanaya and John one, and Terezi and Jake take two. Terezi's practically sucking on the cards now. Aradia and Rose trade two, and now it's on you and Vriska. K 9 7 6 5? Hm. You could take the straight risk... but that's the nine of hearts! You throw everything except the King, and end up with two pair. Nice! Karkat and Jade finish things off with one card.

"Ooh, who's going down this time?" Jade says cheekily.


	20. Everybody Gets Some x2 COMBO (Hand 35)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another dare pulls everyone in, twice no less, and Jane gets a new job.

Nepeta and Jane have: Queen high  
Feferi and Dave have: Pair of sixes  
Kanaya and John have: Two pair, Queens and Jacks  
Terezi and Jake have: Flush in hearts, ace high  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of nines  
You and Vriska have: Two pair, Kings and threes  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of fours

"We won!" Vriska squees, until you point to the flush. "Ooh, is it time fur AC to get a dare?" Nepeta pounces on the dare jar as Jane groans, That's right, they owe two, so it'll be one apiece. "This looks like fuuuun! AC has to kiss every other player on a different body part!" Nepeta furrows her brow, thinking hard. Her eyes brighten as she pounces on Jade, who squawks in surprise as Nepeta pins her, raining down kisses all over her exposed bust. Jane lets out a little "ah!" as the troll continues her attack, finishing with a love-bite to the top of the left boob. As Jane recovers, Nepeta zips off to the other side of the circle, jumping on Jake's back. "This is the purrson you want to nip off with, right Jane?" she teases, kissing his arms. "Now hold on, that tickles," Jake protests as the small girl flicks out her tongue every now and again. "AC apurrves of your choice!" she giggles, leaping at Rose and tackling her down. "HOI!" Dave shouts, looking away quickly, but Rose was ready for her and is somehow managing to keep her skirt pinned between her legs. Nepeta kisses and nips at Rose's belly for a bit, then bites to leave her mark and slides over to Aradia.

"What do I get?" Aradia asks, sounding eager. "Um... flip over!" Nepeta tells her, giving you a good look at Aradia's butt as she starts kissing the taller girl's hips and buttocks. "So soft..." she purrs. Aradia giggles. Vriska is already glaring as Nepeta turns to look at her. "I don't know what you think you're going to do to me, but it had better not be EEK!" she squeals in surprise as Nepeta bends down and takes a toe in her teeth. "Not going to... do..." Vriska trails off as Nepeta lifts her leg out of position and kisses around her foot, licking between the toes as Vriska blushes furiously. That's a surprise. Then again, who better to have a weird fetish, you suppose. As for you, you've been getting (to your mind) insufficient attention all game, and while you'd prefer John or Jake or Jane or Dave not Dave shut up brain or even Karkat to be doing this right now, the cute troll girl is a welcome bit of relief. "AC's cat friend has really pretty legs!" she tells you. "D'aww, sho do you!" She gets between your legs and starts kissing up their length, paying particular attention to your inner thighs and licking close to the hem of your panties, causing you to shiver and instinctively reach down. All too soon, she's moving onto Jade, who looks apprehensive as Nepeta sits on her lap and fixes her with a stern look.

"Hmrmm... AC saw how much you liked your ears played with! So..." she leans up and starts licking and nibbling Jade's ears, causing the taller girl to blush and giggle. "Tickly!" she tells Nepeta as the troll girl prepares to move on. Karkat should be next, but Nepeta suddenly blushes and zips across the circle again, planting herself cross-legged in front of Terezi. "I can smell you there, Leijon," the blind troll reminds her, but Nepeta is in position for what she wants to do, taking Terezi's hand and kissing it before licking her index finger from bottom to top, then sucking it all into her mouth. Terezi lets out a little gasp, but you can see that Nepeta is trying to get a look at Karkat, who looks away when he catches her catching him staring. She smiles a cat grin and repeats with Terezi's other fingers before crawling onto John's lap. "Oh hi!" he says brightly. "So what's left to do? Uh, you did legs and arms, do knees count? I don't know what counts here..." but she shushes him and rains kisses down on his bare chest. "OOH THAT DOES TICKLE!" John belts out, laughing, as he twitches and flails. Nepeta gives him a cheeky love bite and slides up beside Kanaya, kissing up the side of her neck and then licking the length of it. Kanaya gives a long, shuddering sigh as Nepeta's rough tongue runs up her neck. You wonder if she's enjoying it as much as you liked the feel of it between your legs. Not between your legs ENOUGH but you can still dream.

Nepeta crawls slowly toward Feferi and Dave, looking deep in thought. Feferi grins and spreads her legs as Nepeta nuzzles between them, losing her smile briefly and letting out a squeak as the olive-blood kisses SOMETHING underneath that skirt. "Fishy," she comments as she ducks back out, earning a snort from you and a giggle from Feferi. Now what's she going to do to Dave? Uh oh, she's going down... "Oh come on," he protests as her fangs catch his waistband. You shouldn't look. "Hey.... the dare said kiss, you did that," Dave protests, and when she leans back up and flashes him a grin you note that Dave's tent has returned. Finally, almost apprehensive, she starts crawling toward Karkat, who makes a face. "Oh come on, why do I have to be after... THAT?" he protests. "Is that complaining I hear, Karkat?" Vriska says mock-sweetly, and he shuts up again. Nepeta crawls onto his lap, blushing and closing her eyes as she goes in for a kiss square on the mouth. Terezi is whispering to Jake, frowning.

Nepeta is blushing furiously, hips rotating of their own accord, and it seems like Karkat is at a total loss for what to do with himself. You can hear her purring as she presses in, but Terezi calls "time!" (how would she even know? Wait, this one isn't even timed...) and Nepeta suddenly seems to deflate, pulling away and sagging. Karkat hugs her gently as she squeezes onto him, like some kind of strange mix of deathgrip and cuddle. 

"Oh right," Rose says drily, "I enjoy the privilege of getting to repeat that performance. To whom do I owe my gratitude?" "I'm sorry Rose!" Jade flails, "it sounded fun and silly at the time!" "Indeed." Rose looks slowly around the circle. You know she's not comforgable being honest with others, or with herself, but you're kind of hoping she takes the opportunity here. Of course a part of you that you're not proud of desperately hopes she doesn't. Goddammit how do you keep getting yourself into this sort of romantic bullshit? You wish there were more punch.

Rose starts by softly necking with Aradia for a moment, getting lost in the taller girl's long hair. She moves over to Jake, carefully holding her skirt to keep herself covered as she kisses his big toe. "Careful, Rose, a fella might swoon at such daring actions," he jibes. "Control you sir, or I might think you less of a gentleman," she deadpans right back. Terezi gets a bit of special treatment, her ears being kissed, licked and sucked on as she shivers and gasps, Rose slides past John and Kanaya to take Feferi's hand, kissing it gravely in mock courtly manner. Feferi winks at her as she turns to Dave. Oh what sweet fresh ecto-incestuous hell is about to go down here?

"Let's see those strong, manly arms, Strider," she tells him. "I believe it is customary for a damsel such as myself to swoon over great muscly oaken limbs such as these." She kisses him on the bicep as he looks apprehensive. Next up is Jane, whose boobs Rose can't help but drop a couple of considered kisses on. You can see her eyebrows raise as she gets a point-blank look at them. She breaks up Karkat and Nepeta, tweaking him a bit with "I hope my lips touching that fine alien masculine wall of a chest won't trigger my latent and incorrigible thirst for xenomiscegenation." Rose kisses him a couple of times on the chest and then gets Nepeta's belly, tickling with her tongue and eliciting a giggle out of the troll girl before she retreats back next to her partner. That show broken up, it's time for her to hit Jade.

"It's too bad you're so tall, Jade," Rose says conversationally as she lifts her friend's foot, "we can't really share clothing and coordinate our wardrobe pieces together for maximum contrast and effect. Those poor boys will never know what they missed out on. It is their lot in life to suffer." Rose starts kissing up Jade's leg toward her inner thigh. "Obviously they didn't deserve it," Jade cracks back, but she seems to get lost in the sensation as Rose gets up to the top of her left leg and switches over to the right. She's positively squirming by the time daughtermom switches focus to you. Oh here we go. You run through the list of what parts might be left. She's not going to - no, she's not. Instead she moves behind you, kissing along your shoulders. Ohh that feels nicer than it should.

Vriska is back to glaring. "Great, I get both of you," she gripes, referencing Dave. "Just as long as you're not goOOH!" and yes, Rose's head has dipped between Vriska's slender thighs, ever so briefly. The troll adjusts herself as Rose crawls across the floor toward Kanaya and John. She pauses as she's almost there, and you can't see the look on her face, but net thing you know she's slipped up onto Kanaya's lap, cupped the jadeblood's face in her hands and planted a kiss on her. Kanaya seems to melt into it a bit, and licks her lips when Rose finishes. Lips that probably still had a bit of Vriska on them. Finally, she comes to John, and the tension in the room grows thick. By process of elimination... not to mention, of course, how many of you suspect how Rose feels about John.

And then she kisses him on the nose.

Dave and Karkat snort as John looks many kinds of bewildered all at once. The girls are laughing now too, and Jake joins in as Rose goes back to her seat. Jane has grabbed the dare jar, and reads hers off as things quiet a bit: "Keep this card. Whenever someone goes out, you have to make out with them. Goes out, that's like..." "Gets naked," Feferi supplies helpfully, as Jane reddens. She busies herself collecting the cards for a deal, as Jake calls for the Jack of Glubs, nodding and tipping an imaginary hat to Feferi, who favors him with a wide smile.

Six players are at risk of elimination, and everything that goes along with it. This should be fun.


	21. The Guessing Game (Hand 36-37)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shpectacular breasts make their appearance and a guessing game is played.

Dave exchanges one, nodding at the result. Kanaya and John swap three. Jake trades one. Aradia and Rose trade two. You and Vriska are sitting on a pair of nines, and trading two cards changes nothing. Karkat and Jade trade two, and Nepeta trades one.

Feferi and Dave have: Two pair, Kings and Jacks, and the penalty card!  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of aces  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of Queens  
Aradia and Rose have: Two pair, sevens and fives  
You and Vriska have: Pair of nines  
Karkat and Jade have: Two pair, nines and eights  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of threes

"Good grief," Jane buries her head in her arms as Nepeta shakes her head. Luck is turning against them hard. Mind you, things might be looking up for you, depending on how this rock-paper-scissors plays out... and Janey loses! Screw coyness, you want to watch this for sure. Nepeta sits behind her and undoes the catch, causing only a slight sag as Jane's boobs lose support. She cups her hands to her chest to cover herself as her partner deftly snatches the bra away, causing her breasts to squeeze together and enhancing the already substantial amount of cleavage on display. You let out a low whistle, you hear a "Damn" from Dave, and even an awkward "Wow" from John, which earns him a playful swat from Kanaya. What's going on with those two? The boys aren't alone; Feferi's eyes are shining in admiration, Jade is squirming uncomfortably and Vriska and Kanaya are both sneaking peeks while pretending otherwise. "Definitely bigger than mine," Aradia muses, drawing a few laughs from the girls.

Feferi sighs as Dave unties her hands, now that they've finally won a round. Flexing her wrists a bit, she scans the room, teasingly holding up the penalty card. You see her eyes land on you, and by the time Dave realizes what's about to happen and shouts "No, WAIT!" it's already too late. The penalty card is yours. Well, yours and Vriska's, but you know she's not about to waste her dare on you. Your partner gives you a vengeful grin, flexing her fingers as though practicing for a proper squeeze. Bring it on, Serket. 

You'll say this for Vriska: she's pretty quick. Your bra's off before you can blink, and she's got her hands on your boobs. "These are nice," you hear her mumble. "You can do better than that, Sherket. They're shpectacular!" you inform her. She hums absentmindedly as she jiggles them around a little. You can see Aradia, Feferi, Nepeta and Jade (?!) watching with interest, but it's the other reactions that you're more curious about. Karkat isn't paying any attention to how hot you are, but Kanaya and John are both staring pretty hard. Rose is busily ignoring you, while Dave's attempt to sneak a peek has gone on way too long. Does he even know he does that? Jake's blushing slightly - oh hell yes, suck it hot stuff - and so is JANE of all people, who's... is that ogling? I think you could call that ogling!

Vriska abruptly whips her hands away, flashing everyone, but you're enjoying the attention - finally this game feels like it's paying off beyond the fringe benefits. Feferi elbows Dave, who startles and then calls "seven of diamonds" in a bit of a daze. She collects the cards, giving you a nice view of the smaller girl's curves. 

John opens the round with a two-card discard, which he seems pretty happy with. Terezi tosses one, as does Rose, and now... A K 8 6 3. You discard the three low cards, fingers crossed... J 9 4? That's not helpful at all, crap. You hold out hope that someone else gets screwed worse - Karkat and Jade certainly don't look too pleased, either before or after they swap four cards. Jane's not looking happy with their two cards either, and when Dave follows suit he's not noticeably confident.

Kanaya and John have: Two pair, Queens and tens  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of Jacks  
Aradia and Rose have: Flush in clubs, King high  
You and Vriska have: Ace high, King kicker  
Karkat and Jade have: Ace high, ten kicker  
Nepeta and Jane have: Ace high, King kicker  
Feferi and Dave have: Ace high, Queen kicker

...wow that was close. What an awful round! But hey, not losing is a win at this point. Of course, Karkat and Jade... well. You can't deny you've been checking out those long legs, and it's always hilarious to see Karkat in a state of extreme fluster. Jade flashes Karkat a cute buck-toothed grin. "Come on Karkat, you know what you waaant to do," she teases. "Calm your rumble spheres, Harley, I know the rules," he grumbles. "Why don't you calm them?" she replies, batting her eyelashes and successfully causing a blush. It turns out that Karkat is just as bad at this as John, if not worse, as he's trying to unhook it without letting his arms graze her. Eventually she leans into him, grabbing his hands as she whispers in his ear, "like this, silly," and guiding them. The troll looks dazed as he lets her coordinate his motions, and in short order she shrugs off the bra, revealing still-developing but nicely-shaped breasts, freckled and noticeably paler than the rest of her. She's looking at Dave, Dave's looking at her, and for a moment time seems to stop for those two kids... until Jake coughs awkardly, prompting a squawk from Jade as she hurriedly covers herself. You didn't catch whether John was looking, but considering how those two were at it earlier... well.

Karkat grumbles under his breath as he reaches into the dare jar. "Get blindfolded? TEREZI, THIS WAS YOU." "Payback for the ice, Karkles," she taunts. "Read the rest!" "...other players... on my lap... NO HANDS? HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO IDENTIFY PEOPLE WITHOUT USING MY HANDS?" "You only need to get three right, Karkat. Assuming you want to keep those undies..." Ooh that sounds fun. "Who doesh he have to pick from, Terezi?" you ask. "The other three losing teams." Now Vriska's grumbling - you and her are of course in that group. "THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN HOW - " "You could try using your big mouth," Jade suggests innocently. Vriska snorts. "Don't encourage him, Harley." And now everyone is laughing.

Jade blindfolds her irate partner and sits back to watch, looking vastly amused. She's tied his hands behind his back too, just to make sure he doesn't cheat - and of course, leaving him at your mercy. The six players to make up the guessing pool each draw a card to determine order. You go fourth! Vriska motions you all together near the closet.

"Even for Vantas this will be too easy unless we try to mess him up," she tells you all as she pins up her long hair, making herself look a lot more vulnerable in the process. It's a great look on her, but she'd probably hate to hear that. "Crocker, put on this wig," she hands Jane a long messy wig, "Nepeta, put on these glasses. Roxy, be Jane. Peixes... you just do you. And Strider..." she looks down at his boxers, "you're a lost cause. He gets that one no matter what unless he's even dumber than usual. Now let's go deceive ourselves a win!" Dave rolls his eyes.

Jane gets on Karkat's lap first, sitting with her back facing him. Her soft plush hips roll over his briefs, and suddenly she's coloring slightly as her eyes go wide. Somebody woke up Little Karkat. The troll leans forward, getting a faceful of wig, and mutters "...has to be Peixes or Serket... uhh..." he frowns. "It can't be Serket, whoever you are you're not gaunt and terrible and bony." Vriska looks livid. "Must be Feferi." That's one wrong! Jane slips away and now your partner is up, eyes almost incandescent with rage. She gets up on his lap - and KISSES HIM what the shit? Her fangs draw blood as she sustains the kiss, and when they break she looks... well, she looks surprisingly turned on, and she's PURRING. "Ne-nepeta?" is all Karkat can say. Vriska flashes an evil grin and gets off of him, going back to her place in the circle. Oh you clever bitch, who else in this group would kiss him?

Who else indeed, as Nepeta plays coy, staying totally mute and sitting down on Karkat as though he were made of fire that she could stamp out with her butt. She puts her hands on his shoulders, miming an aggressive pose like Vriska might take. Karkat isn't buying it, though: he says "nice try, Nepeta" and she looks surprised that her deception has failed. Might have been the hip rotations giving the game away, girl. You won't make the same mistake. You sit gingerly, cowgirl-style, squeezing your arms together to mimic Jane's assets. You can feel the bone bulge underneath you and desperately want to squirm, want to enjoy the pressing sensation more, direct it where it belongs, but you control yourself. Karkat bends his head forward suspiciously and you lean up to give him a full dose of marshmallow hell. Blushing furiously, he sputters "what the hell, Crocker?" and you've won the day. Now it's up to Feferi to bring it home.

Of course, as soon as she sits, she's had. "Wait, fuck, Peixes got that stocking dare..." Karkat muses, blushing as he realizes what the sensation on his lap must be. "Feferi, this is you this time," he guesses, and in response she shakes her hips and gives him a long kiss. "Please tell me the last one is Strider," he gasps as the troll princess moves away to let Dave get on board, which he does dutifully. "Either that's Strider or one of you has been keeping one hell of a secret," Karkat decides. Jade pulls the blindfold away, looking amused but also slightly disappointed. "I won?" Karkat asks. "Yesh indeed! But in a way, didn't we ALL win?" you joke, getting his goat once more. 

"I suppose I have to succeed at the same task now," Rose remarks as she blindfolds herself. Vriska gets a devious look in her eyes. Ah crap, you've got to sit on daughtermom. And this time, you're up first. How to do this?


	22. Mother Daughter Bonding Time (Hand 38)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Roxy get a lot closer, and Terezi gets a bath.

Bah, to hell with it, in with both barrels. You cover your boobs with one arm to prevent her feeling you out that way, then straddle Rose's lap and give her a long kiss. Your ecto-mom sighs into your mouth, but as her tongue flutters in briefly you realize you can't fake being any of the trolls - you have no fangs! Whoops.

"An admirable albeit tremendously inappropriate attempt by Roxy Lalonde," Rose nails you. "I believe I only need two more." Dave is up next, she'll see through this one for sure - except she doesn't, as he pulls the same trick Nepeta used but with Jane's wig. Rose unceremoniously drops him off her lap. "I'm sorry Nepeta, but I know the wig trick and..." she pauses. "Oh no. That was Dave, wasn't it?" Dave cracks up. "Hear that, Leijon? Rose thinks my ass is sexy enough to be yours." "You think AC's ass is sexy?" Nepeta says huskily, and Dave facepalms. Man it's like someone put booze in his punch, he's not thinking straight!

Rose figures out the real Vriska, Jane and Feferi in quick succession, making Nepeta's turn on her lap more of a formality, though the olive-blood has a bit of fun by stealing a kiss, to Rose's evident surprise. Nonetheless, she passes with 5 of 6, a near perfect score. She picks the five of hearts as penalty card, and it's Kanaya's turn to deal.

Terezi is licking her cards with some concern after swapping three. Rose looks smug and doesn't surrender any. You and Vriska end up with only ace high after swapping three cards. Karkat and Jade look relieved after dumping four cards, Jane trades two, and Feferi and Dave follow suit. John swaps three.

Terezi and Jake have: Queen high  
Aradia and Rose have: Two pair, Kings and tens  
You and Vriska have: Ace high  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of sevens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Ace high  
Feferi and Dave have: Ace high  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of Jacks

"We lost, didn't we?" Terezi asks as the cards come down. Ouch, Queen high. She sighs. "Fine. English, help me with this," she indicates her bra. Jake looks adorably awkward as he reaches around behind her, but unlike the other boys it seems he's a natural - the bra unclasps and drops off before she can even react, bringing Terezi's small, pointy, teal-tipped breasts into view. You're not quite sure how they size up - maybe smaller than Kanaya's and larger than Vriska's - but they're a very nice shape. Now they still owe one. Terezi and Jake play rock-paper-scissors to decide who's taking the dare... "Oh gogdammit," Terezi curses as Jake covers her rock with his paper. He passes her a dare slip.

She licks at it tentatively, eyebrows raising. "Get a tongue bath? From the players on my left and right..." she pauses. "GC is welcome!" Nepeta chirps teasingly as Terezi shifts in her seat. Jake and John glance at each other - they're currently flanking her. Jake gives a grin that you'd call diabolical from anyone else. "How d'you suppose? From the nose?" "No, the toes!" John immediately rejoins. Figures they'd be able to rhyme on a dime. "No, not the toes!" Terezi protests as they each lean down and take a leg, licking between each toe and causing her to twitch, wriggle and laugh helplessly before they start moving up her feet and along her calves. The laughter gives way to shallow and ragged breaths as the two boys move in sync, John on her right and Jake on her left. You realize that this must be way more stimulating for her than it would be for you - and it looks like you'd find it pretty hot, as the boys start to move along her thighs, raising her legs up higher and spreading them so they can fit. It's not long before their heads bonk together, and they readjust to accommodate, both going along the tops of her legs and tracing dangerously close to the edge of her panties with their tongues.

Terezi is in a hell of a state as up past the panties they go, giving her belly a lot of attention. You spot them exchanging a glance before abruptly deviating away from the upward course to go sideways, causing more shaking and laughter and sighs as they deal with her back. Terezi is blushing furiously by the time they get to her shoulders and go down her arms toward her fingers, but it's clear that you and everyone else in the room is just waiting for the main event. The boys pay close attention to her fingers, then move toward her neck, up around her ears, and down her face, Terezi's lips moving involuntarily as she tries to capture a kiss. Now it's down the front, under the chin, the collarbone... and finally the roving tongues start to tease around the edges of those small handful breasts, circling inward until each of them can lightly flick a nipple. Terezi looks sweaty and frazzled as the boys lean back to inspect their handiwork.

"Quite the tongue-lashing you delivered, sir," Jake says to John, shaking his hand. "Yeah, we gave her quite the licking!" John agrees, and everyone groans. It's Rose who's shifting nervously in her seat now... oh. OH. Ohhhh no. "Can I jusht shwitch sheatsh with Vrishka quickly?" you slur. Nepeta shakes her head. "Rules are rules!" she singsongs. Feferi and Kanaya are nodding enthusiastically as John and Dave blush madly. Jade and Jane look... oddly intent. "Yes, we've all agreed to these rules, so let's just get this over with. It would probably be best if the word 'mom' did not enter into it," Rose tells you. Fine by you. Aradia has a dark heart-shaped grin on her surprisingly nice lips as the two of you crawl toward Rose. Aradia lifts one of her small pale hands, signaling to you to do likewise, and you start slowly running your tongue down your daughtermom's fingers, surprised how slender they are. Aradia takes one in her mouth, causing a slight shudder, and you're happy to imitate. Next it's down the hands, and then up along her arms toward her shoulders. You go around the back of her neck while Aradia takes the front, and you're pretty sure you hear some kissing going on as you trail up the other side to run your tongue along the edge of her right ear.

Now you and Aradia have switched sides, and you go down Rose's cheek carefully as the two of you move toward her collarbone and those small, pert breasts. Her pale pink nipples are stiffening like the goosebumps along the rest of her as your tongues approach, and before long you've got one in your mouth. It feels soft and almost electric in how much you can immediately sense Rose's tension when it's between your lips. You feel as though you could read her every sensation if you started to tease it a bit more, with your teeth, maybe... but you can feel Aradia moving again. You still have a job to do. Rose has less exposed skin than Terezi thanks to her skirt and stockings, but you're still able to run your tongue down to her belly. She's no less sensitive here, it seems. You lean back, but Aradia says "not done!" and you remember.

Rose isn't wearing panties.

"I can't do that!" you protest, but Rose shakes her head and Aradia drags you down. "Rules are rules," she breathes as Aradia's tongue starts playing along her butt and then down her thigh toward the top of the stockings. You follow suit, moving around the outside of the right leg so that Aradia can go inward on the left. Soon the two of you are moving slowly, teasingly, down Rose's inner thighs toward her small, slightly fuzzy mound. Aradia is running her tongue along the mons, narrowly avoiding anything deeper, and Rose is writhing in your hands. You can feel Aradia's breath - Rose can definitely feel it to. Something inside you just sparks and you lean forward, slipping your tongue quickly between her outer folds and flicking upward, just once. Rose squeaks as the two of you withdraw, hand rocketing under her skirt - whether to cover herself or finish the job, you don't know, but you can taste the musk of another girl in your mouth. Rose was already wet before you got there.

As you settle yourself, you notice some hands slipping away from crotches - Rose was by far and away not the only one touching herself. You grin in satisfaction - one way or another, you were part of that.


	23. Popsicle Show (Hand 39)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a pink popsicle between friends? A great show, that's what.

"I find it odd that I end up at the center of things even when I win," Rose remarks drily as Jake gathers the cards. "Six of diamonds for the penalty card."

Chances are high that someone's going out this time. Aradia and Rose trade three cards, looking satisfied. You and Vriska are looking at A J 9 7 6... well, that's no good. You trade the low cards... and get back K 5 2. Well crap. Jade trades two, Nepeta follows suit (making Jane go pale) and Feferi doesn't break the streak. John tosses one, the dealers drop two, and then it's time to show hands.

Aradia and Rose have: Set of eights  
You and Vriska have: Ace high  
Karkat and Jade have: Two pair, tens and fours  
Nepeta and Jane have: King high  
Feferi and Dave have: Two pair, Queens and nines  
Kanaya and John have: Two pair, aces and tens  
Terezi and Jake have: Ace high

Safe, just barely. "Oh noooo," Jane moans. "AC doesn't mind," Nepeta shrugs as she turns her back so Jane can remove her bra. Poor Janey, she'll warm up eventually. Jane sighs, reaching over and undoing the catch. Nepeta turns back to the group, shrugging out of her bra to reveal her small grey boobs - she really is not much bigger than Rose, if at all - with cute olive tips. She's staring straight at Karkat, who is furiously looking at his feet. Sure you are, bud. Sure you are.

"So who's doing a dare?" Vriska pipes up. Oh right, that counts as a double loss! "I was hoping you'd forget," Jane grumbles. "Rock paper scissors?" And then, of course, she loses. Seething, your friend grabs the dare jar and reaches for a slip. "Get a popsicle - well that's not so bad," she starts. You shake your head knowingly. Poor Janey. "Split it, choose another player..." she trails off. Rose smiles slyly. Oho! "Well. I have to choose someone." Her eyes are darting to Jake. Come on Janey, you can do it! Suddenly her eyes go wide and she starts shaking slightly, like she's been filled with energy. "I pick Roxy!" she calls. "Jade, can we get a popsicle, please?" She comes over and drags you by the hand back to her seat, whispering to you: "We have to finish half of it with our mouths and melt the other half between us, then clean it up. By, uh... well, by... with our tongues," she finishes lamely. Oh that sounds like a lot of fun. Nonetheless, you have to raise an eyebrow, even as your heart is fluttering slightly - why did she pick you? "You're going to help me put on a show," she breathes in your ear. Clever, Janey!

Jade hands over a pink popsicle and Jane splits it, pressing herself against you, your breasts smooshing together as she tries to pin the popsicle half between you. It's tough to make it work as the cold ice pop makes you recoil the first few times, which makes it drop and slip away, but eventually it's thawed a bit and starting to melt and you're able to keep it between you, partially lodged between your breasts but slowly slipping down to your bellies, where Jane's soft curvature holds it. Looking your best friend in your eyes, you try to imagine that this is for you, not for Jake, as you both work the popsicle half with your tongues, every so often brushing one another, accidentally on Jane's part but less so on yours. Her eyes are closing slightly as she presses inward, keeping the popsicle half trapped. You're almost down to the stick now, and then suddenly your lips are meeting as the remaining ice is insufficient and her tongue is dancing slightly in your mouth. Her eyes open wide before drifting closed again, and suddenly her mouth is pressing harder against yours, her hands settling around you and her hips rolling forward. You kiss back passionately, letting the wooden stick slide away as you taste your friend through the sweet pink juice of the ice pop.

You break the kiss, panting, and Jane seems to come out of her haze. The other half is good and melted and you're both quite sticky. "Sweet," you gasp as you lean down and start licking Jane's breasts, only half-remembering that you're doing this as part of the dare. You spare a glance around the circle as you help her lean back. Nearly everyone is fixated on the two of you, as you hoped they would be. And yes, Jake is in that number. His shorts are tented and he's looking red. Mission accomplished, Janey, now let's bring this one home. You run your mouth down her belly to lap up the trail of juice that ran from the popsicle down to her panties, wetting them slightly, and let your tongue flick just under the waistband to catch some of the sticky juice caught in the curly black hairs beneath. Then it's your turn to lean back, and Jane puts her face between your boobs and starts sucking like she's a pimply 13-year old motorboating for the first time. She licks between them and down your stomach, but stops shy of your panties. As she leans back, panting, you notice that her face still has pink juice around it. You're still feeling wet and sticky yourself. Jade tosses you both wet towels and you finish cleaning yourselves.

"Well, that was quite something," Kanaya comments out of the blue. "Really though," Aradia concurs. None of the boys are saying anything, though Dave and John both look like they want to die of embarrassment and Jake looks like he's forgotten what words are. As for Karkat, he was studiously ignoring the whole thing. "Can we get on with it now?" he grouses. "Right," says Rose, seeming to wake from a trance as a popsicle appears in her hands, this one purple. "You're welcome," Jade teases her as Rose taps a finger to her lips thoughtfully. Hm... where ARE you going to go with this, Rose? You know, of course, that the obvious choice would be... and yes, there she goes, walking over to John and THEN THE FAKEOUT as she hands Kanaya half the popsicle. "I would appreciate your assistance in this matter," she deadpans gravely. You're pretty sure that's a jade-colored blush going on in those cheeks as Kanaya slides toward the smaller girl, shivering as the popsicle touches her skin. Rose isn't doing much better on that part. Come on, daughtermom, it's not THAT cold. The other half, though... Kanaya and Rose are being extremely careful not to touch lips as they work on the popsicle, and John looks like his brain fell out the back of his head, jaw slack as his partner and his friend/crush/thing do some things with all kinds of phallic implications. One of Rose's hands is on Kanaya's breast, apparently for support (yeah right, go for it daughtermom!) and they pop back as though electrocuted when the popsicle in their mouths vanishes and their lips touch. Kanaya wraps an arm around Rose and just holds her. "It hasn't melted completely," she mutters to John, who gives a surprisingly sly look to his partner. There's that jade blush again.

Of course, now comes the licking, and while you really shouldn't be paying attention to how Kanaya needs to pull Rose's skirt down slightly to follow the purple juice, from this angle you've got the best look ever at some incredibly nice Maryam behind, and goddamn Kanaya you need to start wearing pants more. Rose looks like she's having more trouble keeping herself appropriately modest while cleaning Kanaya, though she might be taking her time for other reasons as well. Vriska's eyes are ablaze with something a lot like jealousy as she flicks them from Kanaya to John's boxer tent and back again. "Why does she get to do that?" your partner grumbles under her breath. Clearly Rose having so much of Vriska's fun wasn't in the troll girl's plan for the evening. Oh well. "You'll get your shot eventually," you reassure her with a patpat on the head that draws an irate glare.

"Now then," Rose says as though she hadn't just been a sticky mess of grape juice and hormones, "it's our deal. Aradia, penalty card?" "Queen of Hearts," the troll responds with a devious grin. Oh that could be trouble. You're still not sure how this game hasn't run someone out yet, but it's got to start claiming casualties soon.


	24. Elimination (Hand 40)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first elimination occurs, with everything that implies.

After your little popsicle show, you're still feeling a bit hot and bothered. You've done your calculating and are pretty sure that by the end of this hand, it's likely someone's going to end up naked.

...which might be you and Vriska if you keep getting cards like these. She shows you A 10 6 4 3. Come on. You throw away everything but the ace... and get back A Q J 6. Alright, pair of aces isn't going to lose. You should be safe. Jade takes the hand of cards from Karkat and trades one, Jane trades three and looks like she's going to be sick, Feferi tosses four, John swaps two, Jake throws one and Rose does likewise. Is it Jane and Nepeta again?

You and Vriska have: Pair of aces  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of fives  
Nepeta and Jane have: Ace high  
Feferi and Dave have: King high  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of nines  
Terezi and Jake have: Flush in spades, ace high  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of twos

"Yep," Dave mutters, "that's what I thought." Feferi gives him a mock frown. "Jeez, Dave, I didn't think you'd be so down about getting to undress a princess." He gulps and blushes fiercely as she sticks out a leg for him, coming dangerously close to flashing the goods underneath that short skirt. "Come on Dave, you know you want to anyway." Jade is sitting expressionlessly as Dave reaches out and grabs the stocking by the toe, awkwardly dragging it down Feferi's leg. She presents the other one, turning to him and making his eyes pop in a way that you just KNOW means he got an eyeful this time. Off comes the second stocking, and then it's time for the skirt, which she stands so he can slide down. Feferi's got a ridiculously nice ass, one you'd like to cup and squeeze and snuggle, wide where it should be and bubbling out nicely, She turns, giving you all a peek of her shaved mound (oh you devil, you planned for this?) before kneeling down in front of a standing Dave. She's locked eyes with him as she slowly drags his waistband down and wait, why are you watching this? You don't want to see AND THERE'S THAT FOR YOU, sticking up straight and proud as Dave looks totally embarrassed. 

You didn't expect that the first time you saw a penis live it would belong to your ecto-son. Who's also your ecto-dad., Goddamn your family has issues, doesn't it? It's about average size from what you know on the subject, maybe a bit thicker than normal, but it's also a very erect penis and Feferi's face is hovering very close to it as her smile goes wide. You hurriedly look anywhere else - Jane's apparent fascination, Nepeta's blushing grin as she flicks glances toward Karkat, Rose's firmly shut eyes, Jade's open look of desire, Terezi's grin as she sniffs the air, Kanaya's look of mild distaste. Aradia looks curious, Karkat is blushing and looking angry with himself, John is apparently laughing at all of this and Jake's... huh. Jake's giving Dave an inscrutable look.

"Oh JA-neeeeey," Vriska singsongs, "you have a DARE to do!" Jane blushes furiously as she remembers, and Rose's eyes pop open as she remembers, too. Jane walks over to Dave and takes a deep breath, steeling herself, then mashes her lips right into his face, apparently surprising the hell out of him with how forceful she's being. His hands rise of their own volition to wrap around her and her hips start to move and then the kiss breaks immediately as Jane squeaks. Oops, looks like Little Dave got a bit too familiar. Feferi stands slowly and sashays up to the older and taller girl, smiling up at her with seductive eyes and a half-smile as she presses herself against Jane. You can hear a whisper from the troll princess, but the words escape you. Jane shuts her eyes tightly and leans in, letting Feferi take the lead on the kiss. Feferi's right hand starts to migrate down as her left holds Jane in close, but in a few seconds they're done and panting heavily, Jane looking properly flustered and Feferi looking immensely pleased with herself.

"Thanks again Kanaya," Rose mutters as she stands and walks over to Dave. His eyes are wide and he looks like he might shoot off prematurely once more as Rose leans upward and brushes her lips against his, pressing herself in close so that his erection is trapped between them. After a couple more nudges with her lips, he seems to wake up, squeezing his eyes shut and going for the full makeout, one hand roaming under her skirt to grab some ass. You should absolutely not be watching this, watching your ecto-kids who are also your ecto-parents making out with each other, Rose's fingers trailing up to touch AND IT'S DONE and Dave looks horny as hell, not to mention confused, disheveled and embarrassed, his boner refusing to cede any ground. Dave turns away from the group and retreats to sit at the wall, hiding Little Dave from view but giving you all a look at his firm toned backside. Feferi steps up, being only slightly shorter than Rose, and gets a smile from ectomom as they melt into each other. Now it's Kanaya who looks unreadable, as John goes fire engine red and Rose tastes Feferi's mouth like she's a chocolate sundae. The kiss breaks, the eyes flutter open - and then it's back on again, slow but somehow insistent, like each of them has found a flavor that's too good to abandon. Vriska coughs rudely and they break it up, Feferi doing a sexy walk over to the wall to lean on poor Dave and run her fingers up and down his arm. "I'll keep it warm for you," she says to no one in particular.

The game has at long last claimed its first casualties, and the result is that the room is now feeling extremely warm and sweaty, not to mention tense. You wonder what everyone else is thinking about the sudden increase in naked people.

> BE SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN


	25. BE SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi, Karkat and Jake reflect on the first round of eliminations and the events preceding same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The BE SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN chapters weren't part of my original writing blitz, just a place I had kind of felt should be the natural point to check in with everyone else again. As such, they're a lot wordier than I'd set out for and might have a different feel than they should. Feedback as always is appreciated.

> BE FEFERI PEIXES

This evening has turned out so much better than you imagined! You're aware that the punch has likely had more than a little to do with your current state of confidence, but at the same time you've been kind of basking in the stares and glances from the rest of the circle. It also helps that you seizing the initiative with your human partner put you into a power position. Not that that was the original reason to tease him, of course, and there have been other benefits as well. You grin to yourself as you remember the feel of his human boy thing, so warm and hard, under a thin piece of cloth in your hands. His arms wrapped around you from behind, enfolding you like a living recuperacoon. You could feel his nervousness, but none of it transferred to you at all. If anything, it just made you feel more comfortable - you were never worried that he'd push you for more than you were ready to try.

No, you definitely don't have any lingering resentments about a certain violet blood. Shut up brain.

If you felt liberated before, now you've been seized with a sort of total abandon. You've got nothing left to hide now (even less, really, since you, uh, "prepared" for this possibility downstairs) and judging by the reactions you're seeing you've got not a damn thing to be ashamed of either. You lick your lips slightly, remembering the recent kisses with Rose and Jane. Oh yes, girls are definitely worth a bit more attention than you'd been willing to pay them before tonight. Jane's human rumble spheres were of a rather impressive scope, and Rose... hmm...

There was something hidden behind the cool, almost shy approach there. You felt it even more when she broke the kiss and came back for seconds - a kind of thirst for intimacy that you felt a kinship with, something you'd buried within yourself and kept restrained even when you were with Sollux, as though it was what you had to do to cope with your dangerous lusus and psycho ex-moirail. You want that feeling again. Even more than that, you want to find out who else has it in them to give it to you. Kissing Karkat wasn't something you planned, just a spur of the moment thing - if he had anything to add to that, he was probably far too surprised to actually do so. Maybe it would be worth giving him another go? You've noticed he's getting a lot of attention. There MUST be a reason for that, right? Roxy Lalonde's rumble spheres are also quite lovely, and you wouldn't mind an opportunity to make a detailed comparison between Lalondes now that you've kissed one. As for Nepeta...

...well, someone needs to do that to you again. Ohh yes. That hit the spot.

In the meantime, you're enjoying the total freedom you feel as you sit next to the now-naked Dave Strider. You've noticed some attention coming his way from Jade and Terezi in particular and you're happy to tease them with mock-possessiveness. If they want your partner, they can come get him. Maybe you can charge them admission! You can see a lot of tension in the circle as you and Dave lean back on the wall. Do you even really remember what it was like to be so full of stress all the time?

> BE KARKAT VANTAS

YOU certainly remember what it's like to be full of stress all the gogdamn time. Right now your modesty flap is the only thing standing between this farcical medley of increasingly-randy cretins and your particularly ungainly bone bulge, which you are sure is another trait, like your candy red blood, that marks out your mutant shame. The conniving females, both troll and human, have allowed their shenanigans to escalate well beyond what any even remotely rational troll would allow. You squirm in embarrassment as you see stupid Harley looking at you again. It's an embarrassed blush in your cheeks, not any kind of aroused flush. Gogfuckingdammit.

And of course, your efforts to be the sensible one have mysteriously failed to secure support from Kanaya, who is currently... well, you shouldn't be looking at her when she's that level of undressed. None of you should be looking at any other one of you in such a fucking public congress as this is, you figure - any overly-hormonal overgrown wrigglers should get a fucking clue and a room and leave you the hell out of it. That's right. There's no way you personally are definitely enjoying the sight of, say, Harley right now. Or Terezi. Or Megido or Peixes. Naked, naked Peixes. WAIT NO STOP THINKING LIKE THAT. You're definitely not enjoying this in any way.

Except if you weren't, why else would you be here? Gogdammit, Past Karkat, this is exactly why you signed up for this night of inane ligneous chit flinging. The fact that you know that is making you burn with rage, because Present Karkat isn't doing any better, and to be quite honest you don't have high hopes for Future Karkat either. You're darkly satisfied with having given stupid Egbert what for in the kissing contest, and if Serket wasn't completely 800 fucking percent satisfied with your sincere effort to perform the stupid human "lap dance" thing, then too fucking bad for her. You did it exactly like those videos you watched that one time for research into why humans are so stupid. It was all stupid Strider's idea anyway.

...now, of course, you have to figure out what to do about Leijon. She's been pretty fucking overt with the redrom desire all night, especially a few minutes ago. You've never felt that flushed about her, but you've been... reacting... in a way you're not used to. To be honest, you're a bit worried her Heart powers are leaking out in a way that's affecting you and the others. You don't want to hurt her feelings, but she's not Terezi shh brain or Harley shut up brain or Strider would you SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN. Still, there's something... kind of weirdly honest and guileless about how she treats you. It doesn't match up with how you feel like you should feel, how you feel like you're allowed to feel, but it does feel... good?

Speaking of feeling good... you're sitting on your gogdamn hands right now so you don't repeat the totally definitely involuntary personal grooming accident you were involved in COINCIDENTALLY at the same time that fucking Strider erupted his genetic soup from his ecto-sister's taunting. You definitely don't want to compare bone bulges and you're NOT EXAMINING THE FUCKING ALBINO HUMAN ANATOMY is what you're not doing. Of course, when you look over at Feferi instead PURELY AS COURTESY she fucking winks at you like she's reading your gogdamn mind.

Part of you just wants to be safe behind a screen on Trollian, asking Kanaya in private why almost everyone is making you flush in ways you find humiliating. You wish through your disarrayed fury and self-contempt that you were somehow more chill.

> BE SOMEONE MORE CHILL

Gad-fucking-zooks, you're fairly certain you're not ever going to be chill again, not after the whiz-bang performance that your good friends Roxy and Jane just put on. If your face isn't currently betraying anything, it's only because your brain has done the old 23 skidoo. And now, of course, there's a naked alien girl standing next to your ex-boyfriend's younger brother, himself in birthday suit and admittedly quite the figure as you reckon such things. You've been subconsciously sizing up his wedding tackle in comparison to a related set you've some passing familiarity with and it seems Dave did a bit better than Dirk in that area. Not that you should be concerning yourself with that, of course. Not with that at all.

Really, you should be pretty concerned about the fact that you saw your ecto-somesortofrelative's well-freckled bosom. You really shouldn't have. Sure, you coughed to get her to cover up, but before that, you HAD been looking. It's just that she reminds you of Janey in some ways. Then of course there's your partner, the strange blind troll girl with the too-small knickers that expose some rather dazzling behind. You're not just her assistant in burlesque anymore; you've now become up close and personally acquainted with far more of her skin than is decent. Tongue first, no less, and the second time without even chocolate sauce for an excuse. Dirk always concealed his physical responses under a steely mask of cool dude, which was kind of alienating. Pyrope, though... maybe it's just because of her enhanced senses, but you could feel the jitters and quakes as your tongue slid over her and it just seemed so much more REAL than your time with... well, best not to dwell.

Then of course there was the cat troll and her total lack of personal boundaries, and of course the troll princess has had her melons hanging free for a while now and they're just the ticket. You were NOT prepared for Roxy's suddenly topless turn, nor for Megido's rather excellent kiss. You're still not sure how you should feel about your reaction to seeing one of your best friends nearly nude, but then...

...well, of course, there's Janey. You had occasionally had an inkling that she might have a bit of a thing for you, but you'd been pretty sure that most evidence pointed in the other direction. It's not like she never had the opportunity to tell you, and of course you're a very alert and perceptive person. Obviously her feelings, whatever they actually are, were buried very deep down where nobody could see. When the dam burst, though... well. THAT was a rather... thorough... kiss. It reminded you of the first days with Dirk, except more clumsy and less self-assured. Jane makes you feel... well, several VERY less than gentlemanly things, let's hold our horses there Little Jake, but also special and desired in a different way than your ex. You're pretty shocked at how bold she's been; she's always been the most reserved out of the four of you, and yet here she is, topless and topless and something about a pair of large jugs... er, sorry, let's try to get back on the topic of how incredible your friend's bust is. Wait no. Your other friend. Is she more than a friend? That's something that takes talking, you're pretty sure - though you've never dated a girl before, so maybe it's different, but then... well, for the moment, she's a very, very sexy, very, very topless young lady who's looking at you as though you're a chocolate cake and she's been starved for months.

Considering you didn't have any plans for the evening, the complexities and apparent schemes that are spinning around are kind of overwhelming. You're not used to this many irons being in any sort of fire. Maybe if you were someone with more expertise in that department?


	26. BE SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska, Terezi and Rose have some thoughts on all the naked.

> BE VRISKA SERKET

Wow, things really have NOT been going your way at all. From stupid Karkat's ass-wiggling in your face to failing to trick Rose, not to mention John's continued failure to fail hard enough for deployment of the human boy thing. Of course, now you can see one - it's the WRONG one, since it's that smug bastard who made you feel NOTHING AT ALL, so who even cares about how stiff it looks or how much thicker than a finger it is. If Strider thinks you're going to give him the satisfaction, he's got another thing coming. And how fucking dare Karkat call you gaunt? Or terrible? Or bony? You're slender and tall and willowy, that's all. So fuck you, Karkat.

Of course, you did get to squeeze your partner's boobs, NOT THAT THAT MATTERS AT ALL, and your Scourge Sister's current state of undress pleases you for some reason you're too clever to allow yourself to name. You have to admit, they're pretty nice. So are Roxy's. So are Crocker's. SO WHAT BRAIN, MAYBE SHUT UP AND DON'T MAKE COMPARISONS THAT ARE UNFAVORABLE. You're much too awesome to put up with that kind of traitorous hoofbeastmanure from your own brain. So what if everyone likes Crocker's boobs better than yours? Yours are none of their fucking business. Sure, exceptions could be made for certain individuals, but it's not like you're just going to offer. You did enjoy losing your bra, since the circumstances played right into your hands. Mm, John's hands. Mm, Kanaya's hands. Wait no, stop thinking about that! You're supposed to be MAD that you haven't gotten everything you wanted yet.

Like how you're MAD that you didn't get to help lick Terezi, not like you wanted to but because you obviously have greater mouth expertise than Joke English. Obviously. Or how you're MAD that Leijon found a weak spot you didn't know you had and made you melt a little. SO MAD ABOUT THAT. You're SO MAD that you HAD to kiss stupid Vantas on the mouth and then PRETEND to purr as you felt his bone bulge underneath you, just so you could trick him and feel like a winner in more ways than one ONLY ONE WAY. Gogdammit, why are you even thinking about stupid sexy Karkat NO HE'S NOT SEXY you don't even want blackrom with him too much OR AT ALL even though apparently it could be really hot. Speaking of potentially hot caliginous options you totally don't have any interest in pursuing, you were SO MAD when Dave... when he... stop squirming, girl, get a hold of yourself. He's not John, he's just stupid Strider with the golden tongue that touched you like nothing ever has before and you could see John looking at you when it happened. It wasn't the most amazing experience of your life and something you want a lot more of with people you can dare to trust. It was so NOT that. If anything, he was just another disappointment like dumb ol' Tavros, totally failing to seize the opportunity to take you further than you dreamed. His stupid ecto-sister didn't even have the courtesy to do the job right. Not like you wanted her to anyway.

You're still waiting for this game to really pay off for you, and of course you still have a shot at winning. You just can't screw up until you get John naked. On the bright side, now that eliminations have started, you've got solid proof that people will actually go all the way with this thing. You're so going to win, and then... well then, you'll get everything you want. Maybe you'll be nice enough to help a Scourge Sister out with her own desires. If she begs nicely. Would she?

> BE A SCOURGE SISTER

If only you could see, you're pretty sure you'd be openly ogling everything going on around you right now. As is, you've been working to make sense of new and exciting varieties of your friends' natural odors, and if anyone else could sense the world the way you could they'd know just how much attention you've been paying to extremely recent events. As far as you're concerned, this scheme has only been getting better and better, whether it's smelling Vriska's combined arousal and frustration or hearing how much trouble Feferi has been able to cause. You're not so sure that she didn't have more of a hand in setting this up than you realized... she's not SUPPOSED to be the devious one, but gogdamn if she hasn't been able to stir the pot more than anyone else. She also smells amazing, but that's neither here nor there.

You were worried that someone might shut the game down before it got this far, so you're pretty happy that everyone's levels of inebriation and inhibition seem to have moved in opposite directions. Your partner has proven to be a pretty awesome guy, particularly in the tongue bath department... you shiver as you remember how good that felt. BOTH times, actually. Gogdamn, did you really get to enjoy that twice? Hell yes you did. Egbert didn't do such a bad job either. You might have gotten hot and bothered enough to try catching someone with a kiss, but you're not really sure. They kind of did a number on you. Then there was making out with Megido, got to try that again... smelling Vriska and Dave's odors mingling, Dave's CURRENT odor, which is filling your brain with colors and your black panties with moisture... Leijon was fun, Karkat's continued humiliation is just the best, and you're so pleased to have been such an integral part of that. You also got some extremely nice and unexpectedly hot attention from younger Lalonde. No, you definitely weren't expecting that at all. And when she was teasing Dave...

To be honest, you figured you were the one on top of this whole game, but that episode left you hotter than you expected. Really, things have all kind of escalated for you. You were rubbing yourself in front of all these people! Over the panties, sure, but still. Rose also hinted that Dave has been looking at you, which makes you feel a warm surge of pride. You know from firsthand experience that you don't have the same incredible physique as Megido, and Vriska... well, you never felt pretty next to her, even though others told you she wasn't anything special. Easy for Karkat to say, he doesn't like her. And Peixes is always nice. So why would you take their word for it? Now, though...

Well, needless to say you've enjoyed the attention. And you hate to admit it, but they've got you sufficiently frazzled that right now you're pretty sure you'd let just about anyone do anything they wanted. Why can't you be someone more composed?

> BE ROSE LALONDE

The worst dare ever just got worse for you, didn't it? You knew there was a possibility this would happen, but you still didn't EXPECT to be kissing your ecto-sibling. Certainly not in his current state of undress. Or yours, really, you think as you feel the air between your legs. Taunting him was one thing, a fairly simple matter of pushing as many Freudian buttons as you could with the general expectation that you'd hit the right target eventually thanks to Dave's natural desire for external validation coupled with his need to conceal his feelings behind "irony." However, his was most definitely NOT the penis you were considering getting to know a little better tonight.

The truth is, you haven't really come to terms with how you feel about most people, or most of what's going on. You're playing this all far cooler than you actually feel. Why did you lean in to kiss Dave? You could have made that so much more dull. Why didn't you just bite him until he moaned, instead of verbally pushing not just his buttons but also, it looked like, almost everyone else's? You keep telling yourself you aren't interested, that it's incest and therefore gross, and that you're not attracted to Strider anyway, but be honest with yourself, just how much of that is actually true? Aren't you, really, just as messed up as he is?

Well no, nobody's as messed up as Strider is.

You hate these combining feelings of self-loathing and pride - WHY didn't you embrace how you felt and just kiss John? Or do something else to him... but no, you had to be the composed and inscrutable one. You're mentally kicking yourself for that, even as your heart does cartwheels about getting to kiss Kanaya, getting to touch her and lick her and be licked by her... for some reason it's just been easier to own up to THAT part of yourself. Which has a certain kind of inherent irony to it. It helps that your partner is, according to your estimates, sex incarnate - a fact that you've now collected some experimental data on. You've also now locked lips with Feferi, Nepeta and for some insane reason your own ecto-mom, who also... well, you don't know whether there's a scale for THAT sort of thing, and you'd really like to put it out of your mind and focus on John. Kanaya. Not Dave. Aradia. Feferi. Nobody. Yourself! Yes, why not focus on how good you apparently look in long black stockings? You're pretty sure this is the look they call Zettai Ryouiki, likely only enhanced by your conspicuous absence of underthings, and you have to admit you enjoy the feel of the stockings on your slim legs. Not to mention, of course, how much you enjoyed watching John watching you put them on. He's kind of hopelessly transparent, which is endearing and adorable and for some reason makes you feel like a winner.

You should really break down why that is. For clinical reasons. And of course it might be worth breaking down the psychology of someone who's attracted to you.


	27. BE SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya and Dave chime in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be edited to add Dave and Jane, I just wanted to get this part up for everyone ASAP.

> BE KANAYA MARYAM

It is probably well past time to admit that you are well past any of the many mental lines you had drawn regarding how far you'd allow this game to progress. You shake your head ruefully as your image of yourself as the "reasonable" one gets smashed by memories of all the many things you have already done that exceed all of your carefully-established boundaries and then some. You have not only touched but actually STROKED a human boy thing, been necked by Leijon, helped undress Vriska, made out with Aradia AND with John Egbert...

...and, of course, all those wonderful things you did with Rose.

You never expected that you would allow any of this, and even with the strong suspicion that there was alcohol in that punch to loosen some inhibitions, yours were supposed to be a cast-iron vault. Sure, you can understand some lingering feelings for Vriska leading you astray, and certainly Aradia, Feferi, Jane and Roxy in particular offer some rather stimulating visuals, but allowing yourself to reach this level of nudity... you are not actually sure, even now, how you let things get this far. You could certainly have stopped it; you would have had backup. Instead... well, here you are, Maryam. Touching yourself in front of everyone. Your rumble spheres hanging out firm and proud, in plain view of girls and boys alike. Teasing Vriska as you undressed her. Licking sugary juice off of Rose...

...where were you again? Oh yes. You had been sure that you would end the game when John was required to kiss you, totally repulsed by the idea of locking lips with a male. Reflexive disgust, mixed with more than a bit of real fear and uncertainty - for one thing, you have simply never found males to be particularly attractive, no more so than, say, a nice-looking rock or a majestic lusus. You can appreciate aesthetic specifics, especially when provided with a suitable rubric, they just do not happen to matter to you. Then, of course, there would have been some lingering issues with how you relate to males thanks to your copious and universally terrible interactions with Eridan Ampora, the Free Musclebeast Excursion Nobody Asked For. You always felt a measure of discomfort when he talked about relationships, as though desperate for anything concupiscent with any troll who would have him, and you never wanted to give him any leeway to start thinking of you in that way. Your reflexive need to auspitice, you feared, would make him believe he had some excuse to put his fishy moves on you.

All that apprehension, though, melted away when your totally earnest partner, John Egbert, whispered to you. "Listen, you're really pretty and cool, but I like Rose. And I'm kind of confused about too many other people right now. You like Rose too, right? And maybe... not really boys, so much? Can we both think of Rose, and maybe just... let's be monorails, okay? I'd like to be your monorail." That rambling, foolish, overly-earnest and terminology-flunking overture somehow put you totally at ease - suddenly, you understood why it seemed that Rose was so attracted to Egbert. You had always just mentally tagged him as Less Angry Alien Karkat, but there's more to your partner - honesty and awkwardness and a willingness to take an uncertain first step - and with the whole circle watching, you just embraced it, locking on to a mental image of Rose and throwing yourself into the kiss the crowd wanted to see. It may have lasted rather longer than either of you had planned or would really have cared for, but when it ended, gone were any worries that John might want to pursue flushed feelings, any concern that he might want something from you that you did not care to give.

Trust, it turns out, feels good enough.

Admittedly, the human boy thing is not as terrifying as Gamzee made bone bulges out to be. You are not sure what all the fuss is about - it is a relatively stiff, warm flesh protrusion, and the one that you have now seen, sticking out from Dave Strider's pallid form, is reddish and wrinkly and not at all appealing. Perhaps later you should ask Karkat to provide a comparison, just so you understand - assuming, of course, that he is not himself eliminated, as now seems quite possible. You shift your focus to Feferi, who is proudly posing and... you can feel the blood rushing to your cheeks as she kisses Jane Crocker. My, but those are some... admirable physiques, you think. Of course, while you found Rose and Dave's kiss to be amusingly awkward - that silly taboo that humans have, honestly - Rose and Feferi...

You feel more heat, now, all over - part of your mind screaming that if Rose is kissing any troll it should be you, part remembering just how good it felt, and part of you wanting to be in Rose's place right now. Where did THAT come from, Maryam? You sigh ruefully. No, you are definitely no longer the rational voice of reason in this crowd. You are just as bad as the rest. John pats you on the shoulder, and you smile. If this is what is going to happen, you tell yourself, then you may as well be sure to enjoy it.

After all, there are perks for losing.

> BE DAVE STRIDER

Ohfuckohfuckohfuck... where's your ironic flexing now, you ask yourself? Your reservoir of cynical detachment has gotten the merry shit kicked out of it is what that's about, and now you're standing here without so much as your shades to keep any bit of you concealed. So of course you've got a raging boner right now, that's just to be expected, really. To be honest, you're surprised you've only gone off once but maybe let's not think about how that happened, right Strider? So right. SO right. Cause that was so wrong, is what that was. Man, so much of this evening has gone so wrong and been so wrong and why did you ever think you were ready for this shit? You've been totally off the rails ever since Rose went FUCKING INSANE and took a psychiatric hacksaw to your irony shell while sticking Freudian daggers right into the horniest parts of your brain. How the fuck were you supposed to react to that? How do you even deal with being that exposed? Especially when all you can think about is how exposed everyone else is?

Alright, cool it Dave. Think rationally here. You can't get any MORE naked, so that's a thing, and you can definitely wrangle some ironic losing points which are a real thing and not something stupid you just made up. Fucking hell though, you just don't even know anymore. You know this boner isn't going away, that's for damn sure, not now that Jade's all stripped down to her green panties and her long legs and freckles and those perfect-sized boobs are NOT HELPING and then... John's definitely not looking at you anymore, which is probably good, cause you were macking on his topless and insanely hot mom and you KNOW your hands were going to some soft and squeezy places they maybe could have not gone?

Fuck that was awesome.

You try not to look at anyone in particular, but your boner knows the score - Terezi, her small teal nipples pointy and perfect, those slender legs you'd like to have wrapped around you... crazy spidertroll, who you got way more up close and personal with than you wanted to, got a full-on view of THAT at point blank range... John's hot partner, who looks like a model and has been eyefucking your hot sister YOUR REGULAR SISTER YOU MEAN and your hot mom YOUR REGbah fuck it your mom's hot and you know it and you know she knows it and you know she knows you know it. All the girls are hot. What the fuck is wrong with you? Can you maybe NOT objectify literally every female you can see, including the tiny cat troll? Let's try that.

...well THAT sucked, cause now all you're thinking about is how hot all the dudes are too. What the fuck, Strider, focus on smuppets or some shit, get your mind out of Karkat's toned abs and John's boxer bulge and the sturdy man-wall that is Jake English. Who even thinks things like "sturdy man-wall?" Feferi's saying something and you're not even paying attention, just wandering off to sit down. You're in so far over your fucking head now - Rose was right, you're just a total mess of a person. What you wouldn't give to be anyone else right now.


	28. UPDATE NOTICE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick status update, to be later replaced by actual written chapter.

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a good holiday.

Over the holiday season my computer got destroyed, which has stopped me from writing until I can procure a replacement. Fortunately, I had later material already written up, but the BE SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN chapters were being written live and so right now I can't complete them with my limited device availability.

Until I get a new device, and because it's been so long since the last update, I think the best course is for me to post from the archived stuff I already wrote. I'll double back to finish these chapters as soon as I can; I just don't want to leave my readers in the lurch.


	29. A Good, Clean Burlesque (Hand 41-42)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapdances and Chippendales become feature acts as a third player joins the ranks of the eliminati.

Vriska is all business as she gathers up the cards for the next deal, reaching over to prod Jake. "Penalty card," she reminds him. "Uh, eight of... spades?" "That's right!" she says sweetly as she starts to deal. Jade is still looking a bit dazed and confused.

Karkat trades two cards, Jane refuses to discard any, Kanaya swaps four, Terezi keeps her hand, Aradia and Rose trade three, and you... are looking at Queen high. Still, with the Jack and the ten... "I'm gonna gamble," you tell Vriska, ignoring her objection as you trade two cards. An 8 and a 4 won't help with anything. Oh well.

Karkat and Jade have: Pair of threes  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of sevens  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of nines  
Terezi and Jake have: Pair of aces  
Aradia and Rose have: King high  
You and Vriska have: Queen high

"That was close," Aradia remarks as Vriska scowls at you. "You're going to gamble? Why? Why not go the safe route and throw it all?" she complains. "Relax," you remind her, "we have dares." You grab the jar and feel around - not many slips left in there now - but Vriska takes it away from you. "Oh no you don't, I'm going first. Don't need your 'luck' rubbing off on me." She pulls a slip. "Get your grind on with the winner? STRIDER, THIS WAS YOU." "Don't hate the player, hate the game," Dave calls ironically from his seat at the wall. "But there's two of them," she complains. "So do both," you suggest with a grin.

"We should consult the intentions of the writer of the dare," Kanaya suggests, leading to Dave calling out "Yeah, you're doing both" and Vriska growling under her breath. "Come on Serket, you owe me a lap dance," Terezi smirks as Vriska scowls. She crawls over and sits on Terezi's lap, slowly rotating her hips and looking irritable. "You can do better than that," the blind troll tells her as she slaps Vriska on the butt. "Oh you are SO DEAD," your partner fumes as she picks up the pace. Terezi is rubbing Vriska's legs as she pushes her hips forward, inhaling deeply and seeming to shake slightly in time with Vriska's grinding. Eventually, Vriska barks "Am I done yet?" "I'm not," Terezi mutters, drawing laughs, but Vriska is already dismounting so she can get on Jake's lap. You notice she loses a lot of bravado as she settles her blue-clad rear on Jake's obvious tent. That's right, you missed her reaction to Dave's denuding, and she's been all about the human boy thing tonight...

"Oh wow," she murmurs as her hips swivel slowly, eyes going wide. "Ohh... don't go getting any..." she exhales raggedly, "ideas, Joke. You're not... you're not..." she stops talking and squeezes her eyes shut as her movements become faster and more erratic, her breasts jiggling slightly as she gyrates and bounces on Jake's lap. One of her hands is down in her panties and the other is squeezing her left breast, creating a really hot display that's obviously having an effect on Jake, to say nothing of the others watching them. Jane has a hand in her crotch as well, John's tent is back with a vengeance, Terezi has a hand in her panties and Kanaya is slowly fingering the front of hers. Aradia is watching with keen interest while Nepeta looks a bit hot and bothered. Jade, of course, is looking anywhere else.

"I think you've paid your dues on there, Serket," Jake pipes up, and Vriska's eyes pop open as though she's woken from a dream. She leaps off his lap and back next to you like she'd been set on fire, glaring furiously at him and everyone else as she covers herself with her arms again. You'll pretend you didn't see the wet spot on the front of her panties. Of course.

"My turn!" You reach into the jar. "Next time someone loses, you have to take off their clothes with your teeth. Well that's boring." Yeah, why couldn't you ride some Jake English too? Uncharitable thoughts aside...

Karkat's already got the deck in hand. "Time for someone to lose. Terezi, penalty card?" "Ten of hearts." And out come the cards. Jane trades three immediately, Kanaya and John swap two, Terezi and Jake exchange three, Rose trades four, and now... oh look, Vriska's grinning. Pair of eights? Pair of eights. No sense swapping now, it can only make your lives worse. Jade swaps a single card. "Okay, let's see who we beat!" she grins.

Nepeta and Jane have: King high  
Kanaya and John have: Ace high  
Terezi and Jake have: Queen high  
Aradia and Rose have: Ace high  
You and Vriska have: Pair of eights  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of Kings

Terezi is already shaking her head. It's hard to do worse than Queen high, really. "Looks like one of us is about to end up in the altogether," Jake remarks casually as he takes the dare jar. Are there really only two slips left? "Well then! Seems I've been hoist by my own petard!" He looks around the room. "John my good sir, you and I are about to stir up a hullabaloo among these fine ladies." "Oh! Uh... how?" "We're switching undies. And as I am not a pansy and neither are you a candyass yellow chicken, we're going to do it right here." John looks alarmed. Vriska squees and goes bright blue. Rose is trying to look impassive but failing thanks to the color in her cheeks, while Jade buries her face in her hands.

John and Jake stand and walk to the side of the room opposite Dave and Feferi, facing away from the audience. "Now ladies," Jake chides, "this is a good, clean burlesque we're operating here. I don't want to hear anything under three catcalls and a whistle, got that?" Dave starts making ironic stripper music noises as Feferi joins in. You can't take your eyes off the rock-hard that's about to come into view. Jake bobs his hips from side to side a few times in a parody of whatever he thinks stripping is as John does a very silly twerk, earning laughs and the desired number of catcalls. Now the waistbands are slowly sliding down, revealing asscrack and some really toned cheeks - then the pulldown abruptly stops, as each of them carefully steps out of their boxers without turning or bending over. How did they even... and now the boxers are lowering, and good lord you want to grab some of what's going on back there.

The show's not over yet, though, and Jake hangs his boxers on YES THEY'RE ON THERE ALRIGHT as he turns around, looking like a flagpole is attached to his crotch. You can't see anything, of course, but it's waving around in a way you can't ignore. John settles for holding his boxers in front of himself and flossing back and forth with them, barely hinting at anything beneath. Now they're turning around, the boxers are being handed off, and Jake's having a bit of trouble with John's undies, having to bend over slightly to pull them up. John is having an easier go of it, and before long Operation Underwear Swap is complete, the two boys sitting down to applause, catcalls and whistles. 

"Rose's turn!" Vriska calls, but Rose shakes her head. "I'm not wearing underwear, remember? Therefore, I am not obliged. " Jake and Terezi are playing a short game of rock paper scissors, which Terezi loses. "Haha! Who's the better scourge sister now? In your face, Pyrope!" Vriska taunts as Terezi gets to her feet. "Hey waitaminute," you protest, "I have a dare, I get to do this!" "Oops, sorry Roxy," Jake says casually, moving out of the way so you can crawl over and do your job. Terezi looks nervous, hands balled at her sides, as she feels you next to her. You get on your knees, not needing much height to reach her waistband, and bite at it. Slowly it drags down past her pelvic bone, but only on the one side. You adjust position and do the other next, just a bit of loosening, then to the middle to tug down ever so slightly until you see some black fuzz. Suddenly you have a devious idea. Letting her waistband snap back, you move your head down, teasing the front of the fabric with your teeth and making Terezi squirm. You get to the bottom and latch on, tugging at the gusset in a way you know must be getting through to what's on the other side. You can smell her now, a different odor than Rose but with some of the same essential fragrance, and you push your face inward to breathe it in for a moment and press your mouth against her mound, capturing more of the fabric in your teeth as you pull away slowly. You're unduly satisfied with Terezi's ragged breathing and protesting squeaks as you work your magic, and as her panties slowly drag downward you're rewarded with the first look at her dark patch and the hint of lips underneath. 

Getting them down her legs is a bit more of a hassle, but you make it work, and in short order Terezi is officially the third player eliminated. Suddenly there's an "OHGOD" from Dave, and you look over to see Feferi sucking on her fingers quite suspiciously. Jake leads Terezi over to sit next to them, and Feferi leans over to stick one of her fingers in Terezi's mouth. Dave looks like he's going to faint. You're just going to ignore that hint of white that you definitely did not see on Feferi's hand. Yep. Just all kinds of ignoring that. And of course Terezi has a cute butt too, why not? Not the athletic hiney of Jake or the callipygian wonder of Feferi, just small and round and firm.

Nepeta is elbowing Jane, who sighs. "Yes, yes, I know." She walks over and sits next to Terezi, who smirks but is unprepared for Tipsy Jane's Wild Ride, the kiss coming from an angle Terezi didn't anticipate. She doesn't seem to know what to do with her hands as Jane mashes her breasts against the troll girl's torso, eventually settling for just feeling around the older girl's body and taking the measure of her. Jane stops abruptly as Terezi snakes a hand up to cop a feel. "Wait... what's that salty taste?" Is that... EWWWWWW!!!" and with that she's done, running back to her seat and hurriedly downing the rest of her drink. You can't help but laugh a bit at your best friend, though you're honestly surprised she got to taste it before you did. Rose is already there to replace her, pressing a knee between Terezi's legs as she leans over her for a softer but more drawn-out kiss, her short skirt dangerously close to giving the circle a free show. Each of them has a hand on the other's boob and you can see a bit of full body motion between them before Rose breaks the moment and goes back to her seat. Terezi is looking hot and bothered.

"WHY DOES NOBODY FINISH THE JOB, GOGDAMMIT?" she yells as Rose leaves her. Dave puts a hand on her thigh and Feferi crawls over to take Rose's spot, a hand going down where Rose's knee was. Uh oh... where might this be going? Should you watch? Should you not? You're going to, of course, you'd just like to know for the record what propriety would say so you can most properly thumb your nose in its general direction. Ecto-son or no, Terezi and Feferi are sexy devils and you refuse to miss this. But just what is "this" going to be?


	30. You Can't Spell Prospit Without "Sit Prop" (Hand 43-44)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nudity level doubles as the thirteenth sign of the Zodiac makes its presence known.

You see Feferi moving her head down, sucking on Terezi's small teal nipples, and then proceed to "AHEM!" Kanaya barks. "WE... have a game to continue." She's not sounding as above it all as her words suggest, but John's already dealing as Karkat calls "Two of fucks." "Two of what?" John asks. "Hoofbeasts... uh... two... two of..." annnnnd it's clear Karkat's attention has gone bye-bye as Terezi starts moaning. Jade takes charge: "FIVE OF HEARTS!"

Jake keeps his opening hand, Aradia and Rose swap four, and then it's you and Vriska with a pair of twos and a King kicker. Can you afford to stand with the worst pair? "Twos isn't enough anymore," Vriska whispers to you, and you nod agreement. Trading two cards gets you to an Ace kicker, but still not enough. Karkat and Jade stay pat, Nepeta and Jane trade two cards, and Kanaya and John follow suit. Where do things stand now?

Jake has: Pair of eights  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of sevens  
You and Vriska have: Pair of twos  
Karkat and Jade have: Pair of nines  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of sixes  
Kanaya and John have: Straight, ace-high

Sometimes it's just not in the cards. You turn to Vriska, expecting a scowl and an argument about why you should be the one to lose, but she's got a weird look on her face, like she's in a trance. "I lose," she says dreamily. "Keep this card, the winner has to undress you." Oh. OHOHO! You go, girl! She walks over to John and Kanaya, who share a look as they run their hands up her legs toward her waist. She doesn't seem to register how visible that wet spot is - not that it'll matter momentarily, you suppose. Kanaya darts her fingers under the leg of Vriska's panties teasingly as she leans up to rest her fangs under the fabric, while John is blowing lightly on her skin as he gently tugs the material down. The two of them are having a serious effect on her. As the panties drop, you notice that Vriska really doesn't have much of a butt going on at all; she's kind of flat back there. Her nude state, however, makes her slender legs seem even longer, and with the fabric away you can see her velvety black pubes. John's eyes look like they're ready to pop out of his head, and Kanaya's in no better state. Vriska wakes from her daze and squawks in embarrassment, covering herself and runnning over to sit next to Terezi, who's looking very worn-out indeed. Feferi's looking extremely smug and Dave looks just plain gobsmacked by it all.

Jake's got the cards and is dealing as John says "Seven of clubs, I guess?" You're out of last chances now, Roxy... it won't be long before it's you over there on the wall. Glancing back at Terezi, you don't think that would be so bad. Aradia trades two cards, and play moves to you, with... oh shit! Two pair, eights and threes! You're not messing with that. Jade and Karkat trade two cards, but they're looking pretty sick at the result. Jane trades three, Kanaya and John do likewise, and Jake just throws his entire hand away and looks pleasantly surprised at the results.

Aradia and Rose have: Pair of fives  
You have: Two pair, eights and threes  
Karkat and Jade have: King high, and the penalty card!  
Nepeta and Jane have: Pair of Queens  
Kanaya and John have: Ace high  
Jake has: Set of nines

"Well damn," John says as Karkat begins to oscillate. "GOGDAMMIT EGBERT, IT HAD TO BE THE FUCKING SEVEN OF CLUBS, DIDN'T IT? SO THAT'S US OUT. I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF." Jade sighs. "At least I know I don't have to do a dare now. There's no point in me saving myself." She pauses, and her eyes widen. You've already gotten there, but it's only coming to her now - Vriska's dare. And the winner...

"Oh NO! NOT AGAIN!" she wails. "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?" "You liked it last time," Vriska sneers at her from the wall. "Is that what you're worried about? That you'll like it this time, too?" Jade is looking confused and furious. Jake finally gets there. "OH! I see... that's not cricket, is it? Oh well, it's just until I win a hand, or until I lose, really... we'll just have to give 'em what for!" But now Jane is scarlet too. "That's going to get me, too. I have to make out with... with..." she twitches. "Yes, but that was always going to happen," Kanaya reasons. "You humans make way too much of an issue of this," Karkat grumbles. "Look, this is all really simple - none of you grew up together, and while they may be genetic facsimiles they can't be the same fucking people; they're from a different fucking universe. Any context for this being 'awkward' or 'gross' is something you're making up all on your own. So GET OVER YOURSELVES."

It's obvious Karkat is enjoying no longer having to keep quiet as he stands to get it over with. Jade moves behind him to abruptly yank down his shorts, resulting in an offended yelp from the troll as he tries to cover SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF HE'S A SNAKE NOT A CRAB. Karkat is doing a very bad job of concealing his bone bulge, but you caught an eyeful of one hell of a lot of manhood there. He turns to face Jade, muttering under his breath and keeping his privates hidden from the rest of you as he rather gently kneels to tug down her panties, Jade covers herself with her hand, but you note that Karkat's not squawking anymore. Jane's on her feet already, looking a bit curious despite herself as she raises her hands to Karkat's shoulders and pulls him down to her level for a smooch, slowly shifting closer to him until contact with his other head reminds her what's afoot. Embarrassed, she lets him go and takes Jade by the hand. Jane's ecto-thingie looks puzzled as Jane leads her over to Jake, until "Your dare. You sit." Is she really going to... as Jade settles her bare butt on Jake's tent and shifts awkwardly, Jane locks eyes with him and kneels down in front of them, pressing up hard against Jade as she goes in for a surprisingly lusty kiss. Jade doesn't look like she knows which way she's going as her ecto-mom simultaneously makes out with her while using her as a surrogate to grind her ecto-dad. 

It may just be the hottest thing you've seen so far tonight, Jane's big soft bosom engulfing Jade's more modest assets as the shorter girl takes dominance over her ecto-kin. You know there's tongue going on in there, and by how much she's pushing against Jade you expect Jake is getting one hell of an inadvertent lapdance. The poor boy is slack-jawed as Jane's show continues, and he's far from the only one. Rose and Karkat have stopped kissing to stare wide-eyed at the spectacle, Aradia has a hand in her undies, Kanaya and Nepeta are looking on with decided fascination and even Vriska can't conceal her curiosity. The prize, though, goes - not to you, though you're just stroking down your own slit for all it's worth, nor to John, whose eyes are closed and ears plugged, but to Terezi and Dave. It's obvious the troll girl has taken advantage of what the visuals must have done to Dave, and now her head is in his crotch and he's moaning like mad. Feferi is demurely licking her own fingers again.


	31. Feferi Is The Best (Hand 45)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends put on a show, a short-lived dare expires, and a kitty has some playtime.

Rose gives Karkat one last kiss and an "Impressive, Mr. Vantas," before sliding off of him and walking over to gently tap Jane on the shoulder. Finally your best friend pops up for air, her glasses askew and her face covered in sweat. Your ecto-mom takes Jane's place, sitting spread-legged on Jade's lap and giving her a smoldering look. "Uh... Rose?" Jade starts, still trying to catch her breath, but Rose is doing that feathering lips thing again and Jade's mouth seems to instinctively twitch toward her. Kanaya is ruthlessly yanking on John's arm, and as he finally opens his eyes with "Hey, quit it!" she points and he just zones out. The two human girls are kissing in a way that changes the whole tone of the activity, not the desperate purposeful aggression Jane keeps falling back on but a gentle, almost hesitant locking of lips, moving like each needs to caress a secret out of the other. Dave's now on his third round of "OHGOD," and you can't really blame him. You wish someone would kiss you like that. Rose breaks the kiss and the two share a shy smile, which turns sly in short order.

"You realize, of course, that now we have to make Dave and John kiss?" "Only fair," Jade agrees, and John looks pale. "I don't suppose anyone has a handkerchief they wouldn't mind parting ways with?" Jake blurts out. "I'm in a bit of a state..." Jade squeaks as she realizes what he must mean and suddenly her space powers are going into overdrive, everything flashing bright green around her and Jake. When the figurative dust clears, Jade is chanting "Ew ew ew" to herself and Jake is blushing scarlet.

As Karkat goes off to the wall to sit next to Feferi, who is giving him an approving look, Aradia deals the cards. You weren't paying any attention. "What's the penalty card?" you ask her. "Nine of hearts. Jake said." Alright then. You're first at bat with Q 10 8 5 3. Not great... you swap three cards and get back Q 7 6, which is a decent pair. Nepeta throws four cards, John three, Jake none, and Aradia four. Rough round for everyone, or maybe just too many worries to go around?

You have: Pair of Queens  
Nepeta and Jane have: Ace high, Jack kicker  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of Kings  
Jake has: Set of twos  
Aradia and Rose have: Ace high, King kicker

Uh oh, Janey, the jig might be up for you. First, though... one final dare slip in the jar, and you hear Feferi giggling as it's drawn by Nepeta, who scans it slowly and then looks around the circle. "Well?" Jane prompts her, "what does it say?" You're more than a bit curious yourself. Nepeta reads it out: "Name another player - no randomization or getting someone else to decide, you have to choose. Put your hand down the front of their underwear and make out with them until you have something to lick off your fingers."

The room goes silent, and then bursts into noise, whether it's you and Aradia congratulating a grinning Feferi on such an audacious dare or the mixture of catcalls, protestations and clarifying questions coming from the rest. Nepeta's had her eye on Karkat all night, though... with him out, who will she pick? Sure enough, she's arguing that she should get to choose 'Karkitty', but Feferi reminds her he's off the table - "for the moment!" she winks - and a disappointed olive-blood is now sizing up her options as Jade slides off Jake's lap and joins the others on the wall, sitting next to Karkat. Seven possible options, though watching her eyes you're pretty sure Rose and Jane are out of the running, and it looks like Kanaya's been eliminated too. Suddenly, Nepeta is on top of you before you can blink, fluttering her long eyelashes at you as she purrs in a low, seductive voice "Can AC play with your kitty?" "OH HELLS YES" is what you DON'T say, though it's definitely what you're thinking as a hand comes down to get friendly with you. It actually comes out as "Yesssssss..." in a long breath as Nepeta presses her mouth against yours. You open involuntarily above and below, feeling the electric dance of your ladyparts coming alive as your lower lips part just enough to allow a slender intruder between them for an all-too-brief visit. Nepeta's tongue gets just behind your teeth before retreating to allow you a moment, then it's back and they're dancing somewhere in the space that your two mouths are making together, heads tilted so that you can hungrily, greedily open to get as much of another person as you can.

The probing finger presses a bit further into you now, and her hand is rubbing your mound as the ball of her palm presses lightly against your hood. You can feel the heat and wetness building as Nepeta breaks your kiss to slide her mouth down to your nipple and bite at it, a surge of pain mixing with the pleasure like salted caramel. Her eyes are still locked on yours as you look down at her, and you hear your voice saying "Please, more," inviting her to raise up so her small breasts press against yours. She leans over and breathes in your ear "AC loves petting your soft furry kitty" while a second finger nudges its way under your clit and between your lips to join the one already well inside you. She's just barely missing the optimal spot, and you buck your hips to try and jam her fingers onto it - no, she's found it now, curling her finger up just right and OHGODOHGODOHGOD THERE IT IS MORE MORE MORE. You reach up to squeeze her boob as your other hand jams under her panties to give you a grip on her firm ass, which you pull toward you in encouragement. Her mouth slams into yours again and you're ready for it, giving as good as you get. It's not enough. You use your height and your grip to lever yourself over her, and now you're the one on top pressing down, letting gravity help you get her hand deeper, her tongue farther, letting yourself sink into this incredibly hot OHGODOHGODOHGOD NO IT'S NOT OVER YET.

But it is, and your legs turn to jelly as electric fire blasts up your spine and straight into your brain. Nepeta pulls her hand out of your panties and very pointedly licks her fingers, still slick with your juices. You can't do any more than give her a weak smile as you catch your breath. Finally this game has had some serious payoff for you... serious... payoff... you're going to have to pay Nepeta back for that later. Feferi, too.


	32. Rose's Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose does her duty, the dares are all complete, and someone strips down.

You're just sitting back up when you spot Rose, fists balled up like she's steeling herself for something. Oh right - this is the last dare she's got to do, but by the terms she has to choose someone. And you think you know who that might be. Ignoring Aradia's heavy breathing and the flushed look on Kanaya's face as her hand slips out of her nethers, you fix your eyes on your ecto-mom to see whether she can do it. Rose stands, walking slowly and seductively toward John and Kanaya, then sits herself on John's lap. "...Uh, Rose?" John starts uncertainly as Kanaya smiles knowingly. She puts a finger to his lips, but pauses. It looks like she's trying to figure out something clever to say. Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out and she closes it again. She slides her hand down from his face to take one of his.

"I like you, John," she says simply, sounding so adorably shy you just want to go squeeze her. She pulls his hand around to the small of her back and takes his other hand with hers down between them. You hear a surprised "Ohhhh!" from Rose, and she tosses her head back before regaining her composure, giving him a look blazing with lust and desire as she totally fails her feathering-lips routine and just full-on kisses him, twisting her head to the side so forcefully that you're worried she thinks drilling action is involved. John's alternating between looking in control and wildly out of it as he holds her against himself, his hand slipping under the waistband of her panties in the back - oh hey, you remember this feeling. Every time one of them comes up for air it's just a ragged, desperate gasp, filled with a low moan of hunger and... something else? The sound they're making is different from anything you've heard all night, a note of something like joy or elation and maybe some surprise. The sights are titillating, but the sounds make you feel a yearning of your own, for something that Nepeta wasn't providing. 

Rose's arm is signaling that she's doing some kind of work in John's boxers (well, they're Jake's boxers, but on John) and she's bucking her hips into him as much as he's pulling her into himself. You're now running a finger lightly over yourself through your panties, and the sight is having an effect on others as well. Jade and Karkat are kissing and her hand is on his seriously long bone bulge, stroking lightly. Terezi's got a hand between Vriska's legs, and Feferi is making out with Dave. Nepeta has crawled over to Aradia and the two girls are kissing. Jane and Jake look like they're basically eye-fucking each other from across the circle. Kanaya locks eyes with you briefly and you feel like you could pounce her then and there, but you're still utterly exhausted from Nepeta's recent visit to your ladyparts and your counterpart appears to have some interest in the goings-on of her partner and his makeout buddy.

Kanaya leans over and whispers something in John's ear, then in Rose's, and Rose breaks her lip-lock with John to share a long, slow kiss with Kanaya. The troll runs a hand down between the two of them, looking John square in the eye as she nibbles Rose's ear softly and brings out an "Ahhh!" from your ecto-mom, who slams her face back into John's and raises her hips up, hand straight down under her as she - and then John breaks it. "OHGODOHGODOHGOD," he belts, "SWEET NICHOLAS CAGE, Rose..." his voice trails off as he falls back. Rose looks half-disappointed as she carefully extracts her hand from his underwear, white sticky fluid clearly visible. Most of the activity around the circle has stopped now, though you feel yourself getting warm again as Rose pilots her long stockinged stems back to her seat, sits down and only then cleans her fingers with her mouth, slowly and sensually. Aradia leans over and kisses her, giggling at Rose's surprise.

Nepeta and Jane still owe one, of course, and that means somebody's getting naked. They're having a quick rock-paper-scissors over it, and then Nepeta sighs dramatically. "AC knew scissors was a bad idea," she chirps. The troll girls stands and stretches purposefully as Jane sits up to finish undressing her, making her small breasts stand out perkily. Janey hesitatingly slides the remaining garment down Nepeta's slender but well-muscled legs, exposing a diamond-shaped tuft of black hair that she does nothing to hide. She just about tackles Jane, taking the lead in the obligatory makeout and openly kneading the curvier girl's breasts with her hands, before crawling off to do the same to Rose, who barely has time to close her legs before Nepeta puts her at risk of flashing the room. In both cases, Nepeta's taut muscles contrast with the target of her makeouts, Jane being all plump comfort and curves, Rose being soft and slender with hints of baby fat instead of wiry muscle. Finishing, she stands again. Slowly and deliberately she walks toward where Karkat sits, swinging her hips ever so slightly, but she veers off to the side, giggling, and plops down next to Jade.

"Hey Roxy? It's your deal. Oh yes, and four of spades," Jake reminds you. Oh right, that it is. You gather up the cards, wondering how many more rounds until the game breaks down completely. You sure wouldn't care.


	33. Coppertone (Hand 46-47)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game shrinks again as our intrepid narrator imagines being a sandwich.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally have a new device! Hoping to resume regular updates soon.

Jane kicks off with a two-card swap, Kanaya throws their whole hand away, Jake takes two, Rose does the same. You've got A Q J 9 3. May as well follow the herd, right? You swap the low cards and come away with a pair of aces. Not this round!

Jane has: Pair of sevens  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of Kings  
Jake has: Pair of sixes  
Aradia and Rose have: Two pair, Jacks and tens  
You have: Pair of aces

"Well how do you like that?" Jake muses. "Losing with a pair. Doesn't it just figure? Of course now the question is, who gets to undress me?" Wait, why is Jane glaring at you? Ohh... right, cause you put your hand up. So did Aradia, and she keeps it up as you lower yours. That's hardly fair. Speaking of hardly fair... "The rules said the partners do it," Terezi pipes up, "and he's still my partner, so it should be me." The general sound of assent from the group makes Jane frown, but Terezi crawls toward where she can hear and probably smell Jake and carefully runs her hands up his thighs, sitting up and inhaling deeply as she finds the waistband of John's boxers. Terezi yanks them down fairly fast, which might explain why she's surprised when Jake's boner springs out and smacks her in the face.

You're pretty sure the duration of the, uh, "tasting" that follows is well beyond accident when Terezi's head pops up. "Not bad, but Strider's tastes better." "No argument from me," Jake teases. Waaaaait... did he mean...? Wait, no, he meant Dirk, not Dave. WAIT HOLD THE DAMN PHONE DID HE MEAN and then your thought is cut short as Jane unceremoniously and quite firmly DOOFs Terezi away from Jake with one solid kick. She's blushing bright crimson as she looks up at her dream guy, stepping closer than she might have ever expected to get. Of course by now she's already been this close and then some, but then again this time there's nothing between Janey and Little Jake.

This time, Jake seems to be taking the lead, bending down to crush her lips with his own as he lifts her toward himself, her ample physique pressing into his scuplted torso. You can see her hand twitching and clenching before she makes a grab for Jake's manhood, holding it gingerly. Terezi crawling on the ground to steady herself causes Jake and Jane to accidentally trip backward over her, and now they're on the ground, Jane rocking upwards and back as she openly tugs on Jake's dick. You're not sure which one of them you envy more, but you feel the heat and wetness between your own legs watching two of your best friends dialing up the passion, heading toward the point of no return. You and Aradia are both openly fingering yourselves, panties pulled slightly aside. As far as you're concerned, nothing else right now is real - just Jane's soft plush womanly curves and Jake's intensely manly muscle and the cock trapped firmly between the two of them. You feel a buzz in the room, like their energy is going into your fingers, and as you slip a second one inside yourself all you can think is "what if that was me?" You don't know which one you'd more like to take the place of... maybe like a Roxy sandwich...

...but Terezi and Rose are there to break it up, the former biting the two to get their attention and the latter gently pulling them apart. You take the opportunity to cover yourself again, wiping your fingers on the navy fabric, but you're pretty annoyed that things got put back on pause. You see John and Kanaya staring at you and Aradia. That's right, drink it in. You idly wonder how things are going back on the wall, but you sort of don't care. Rose is up on her tiptoes now to kiss a standing Jake, who still has to bend down to meet her lips. This performance is pretty lackluster by comparison, with Jake breaking it after a few seconds and commenting "different..." before going to have a seat.

Janey's still bright red and breathing hard, her panties showing a distinct moist spot in the center. Aradia puts the deck of cards in her hand and tells her "nine of hearts." You give her a minute before nudging her to do the deal. Kanaya and John swap a single card, Aradia swaps three, and you... have J J 6 4 2. Wow. That's pretty damn good. Still... you decide to trade the low cards, and get back 8 6 4. Oh well. Pair of Jacks should still be enough. Jane goes last, throwing three cards, but she looks... wait, why does everyone look so confident?

Kanaya and John have: Pair of Queens  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of Kings  
You have: Pair of Jacks  
Jane has: Pair of aces

Well damn. You didn't expect that to happen. That said, you're not entirely unhappy to be out; recent events have stolen a lot of your focus and you wouldn't mind joining the others on the wall where you don't have to pay as much attention. You have to walk over to retrieve Vriska from her seat next to Terezi, where she's still trying to keep herself covered, and drag her back to the circle. If you've got to be nude, you're at least going to put on a show first!

Vriska tries to grab for your panties, but you catch her hands and pull her up toward you. "You can do better than that, right partner?" you tease, leaning into her ear to breathe "John's watching..." You see her eyes widen, then narrow as she gets a devious grin on her face. Your partner rests her upper fangs on your shoulder before sliding them down, not even leaving a scratch, as she descends toward the hem of your panties. You turn so she catches them in the back and do your best impression of the Coppertone pose, holding the front as you turn back and make a mock-shocked expression. The reference appears to work on John and Jane, who both grin, but Vriska doesn't get it and just pulls harder. You release the front of your panties, covering yourself and watching your partner fall flat on her face as they slide down more freely than she was anticipating.

You're having too much fun now as you tilt into a few sexy poses, keeping covered as you kick the panties away so that they land in Aradia's lap. You note that she picks them up and smells. Attagirl, should definitely check that one out more later. You teasingly rock your hips back and forth as you spin slowly in place, then bend over and make sure that everyone can see your slit between your legs. Of course, you're not nearly done yet. You sashay toward your best friend, sitting astride her lap and pulling her hands up onto your boobs as you take your dare-mandated makeout. It feels like she's still unloading some of the pent-up sexual charge from her moment with Jake, as the kiss you get back is ablaze with a clumsy but determined hunger, a raw and wet need for sensation and connection that makes you feel butterflies in your stomach and lightning further down. You rock your hips toward hers, slipping one of your hands down the back of her panties. Unfortunately, this appears to break the mood, and as Jane catches her breath you realize you've more than covered the terms of her dare. But you're still unsatisfied.

Slipping off of Jane, you go straight for Rose. Screw inhibitions, you need more makeouts and chances are so does she. The kiss is... well, actually, like Jake said, it's a lot different from the way Jane kisses, not sloppy and eager and determined but sort of soft and tentative, almost coy. Rose pulls back just enough to keep your lips in contact, luring you in to try and seize her mouth with yours over and over again. Your legs are entangled and you can feel her wetness under the skirt as you cup her face with your hands so that you can properly finish. Daughtermom looks extraordinarily confused as you break the kiss, while nearby John and Kanaya are both just flat-out agog. Kanaya has her fingers in her own panties now. That's right, eat it up Maryam. Lalondes are your weakness, aren't they?

Sadly, now you're done, and you go sit beside Vriska so that you can observe the rest of the show. You can feel all eyes on you as you walk, and you kind of love it. Vriska hastily slips her hand away from her crotch and you take it from her, sucking her fingers into your mouth. She's a different flavor than Rose was, a bit more tangy. You take her hand and touch it to your own mound, and with a wordless glance she starts softly stroking you. Thanks, partner.


	34. For Womankind (Hand 48)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An elimination, a makeout, a cliffhanger?

Back in the circle, Kanaya and John are dealing, and Jane has called something as the penalty card - you didn't hear what. Vriska's teasing your lips with a single finger, stroking the ball of her thumb over your landing strip in a pleasing manner. Looks like Rose swapped two cards, Jane you think did the same, and Kanaya and John argue a bit before keeping their hand.

Aradia and Rose have: Pair of Kings  
Jane has: Pair of Jacks  
Kanaya and John have: Pair of sevens

"At least it's just one of us. Rock paper scissors?" John offers, and Kanaya immediately beats his rock with paper. "Uh... best two out of three?" he tries sheepishly as his partner rolls her eyes. The boy gives in with a sigh, standing so you can all get a decent look, and you feel Vriska's hand slowing down as her attention is diverted to the same place yours is. You can see Rose's gaze locked on the barely-concealed bulge about to emerge into the world. Someone, you think Jane, gives an audible sigh from nearby. Shut up, someone. There's dick coming out.

Perhaps mindful of what happened to Terezi, Kanaya leans away carefully as she pulls the last of John's clothing away, revealing a pretty decent-sized armament beneath. Sure enough, it pops upward like Jake's did, though John's angles a bit more away from his body and you think it's a bit curved. Vriska's hissing a low "yessssss" as her hand comes away from you, and you glance over balefully to see she's now using both of her hands on herself, glasses slightly fogged as she bites her lower lip. You hear a bit more low murmuring from the wall, including a voice that might be Jade. Rose is bright-red and looks utterly fascinated as Kanaya gives John an unimpressed look and flicks it. "OWW! Quit it!" he protests, which is somehow hilarious. Rose, though... poor daughtermom. On the one hand, she was making out with Karkat earlier, she's definitely been up close and personal with a MUCH bigger trouser snake. On the other... well, John's is possibly the second-biggest here (you make a mental note to do some comparisons with Jake. You know, for justice. Uh, for womankind. Uh... wait, no... science. That's the one. Deep vaginal science) and Rose probably didn't have any creative intentions with Vantas's bone bulge.

Also, you've realized, the human boys are different in another way - unlike Karkat's ridged mushroom snake, they've all got foreskins - you can see a bit of John's head peeking out of its hood, but it's unmistakeably there. Another thing worth some firsthand inspection? Yeah, definitely. In the meantime, though... Jane's standing next to John now, who seems to be trying extremely hard not to look at her voluminous bosom. Man you're a verbose drunk. Where's that hand you were riding earlier? You want that back. "I'm not really, uh, sure how to do this... I mean, you're kind of my Nanna," John is protesting awkwardly. Jane gives an exasperated growl as she grabs his shoulders. "You're not making it any easier by calling me that. I'm not anybody's Nanna." "THAT'S RIGHT!" some loudmouth cheers, "YOU'RE A SEXY BITCH WHO'S GONNA TONGUE-ROCK YOUR GRANDSON'S WORLD." Jane blushes deeply and glares at you as John makes a face. Hmm. That DID sound like your voice. You grin as you settle in to watch the fireworks.

John awkwardly leans toward Jane, eyes tightly shut and lips extended like he's hoping they can do their job without him. Jane rolls her eyes and abruptly yanks him toward her - he's not a very tall boy, but she's so short it's still a noticeable difference. John's eyes pop wide and his arms flail about as though he doesn't know what to do with his hands, hips awkwardly shifting like he's trying to keep his very stiff boner away from his ecto-Nanna. Poor dumb Egbert, it won't work - Jane's got her breasts pretty firmly slammed into him and she's being pretty thorough. You wonder if she might be picturing the wrong boy as her hand wanders down - not that you can see where it's going, but if it were you, there wouldn't be a question - but she breaks the kiss and lets go, causing a VERY nonplussed John Egbert to fall facefirst on the floor, drawing chuckles. Jane moves to sit back down as though she hadn't just been sucking face with her ecto-grandson, but you can see there's still a patch of wet in those panties. You really wonder just how much self-restraint she has left at this point.

...and speaking of those running low on self-restraint, here's Rose, standing up, one hand's delicate, slender fingers tangled in John's long blunt ones. She's unreatable as ever, eyes shining as she seems to be scanning his face. An odd thought about how much smaller she is suddenly runs through your mind, even though you know she's older than him by a few months. "Rose...?" John stammers, and you feel Vriska tense as you see daughtermom's hand tugging at his, ever so slightly, sending a clear message of "let's go, now." The way those two are looking, is this about to be the end of the game?


	35. Fly And Spider (Hand 49)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya and Aradia get the game back on track. Vriska plays with a new toy.

"GET OOOOOOOON WITH IT, LALONDE!" Vriska shouts in your ear. Goddamn, partner, you're taking it out on the wrong Lalonde there. Daughtermom doesn't seem to be paying her any attention. Serves her right, the selfish jerk, keeping her hands all to herself when you were enjoying the company. Kanaya, however, isn't having it. "If you wouldn't mind, Rose, I may end up needing that once you've completed your task, certainly with how my luck has run this evening already..." Rose turns to look at the troll girl, and you aren't sitting at an angle to see what's going on between them. Aradia chuckles softly. "John, I do need my partner back as part of my plan to conquer humanity via nudity," she tells him. That gets a big snort from Feferi. And from you, for that matter.

Looking at his face, though, you're not sure whether Rose is the only one who needs to be brought back down to earth (so to speak). John looks... well, given the flutter in your chest (and in another place), he looks suddenly older, sturdier, and weirdly... what's that word? Ardent. Even thinking about it puts a thrill up your spine. He makes you think of Jake, and of Dirk a bit. Of course, as he's just reminded you all, there's more than a bit of Jane in him too - right, she's not actually his Nanna, is she? She's his daughtermom. Still hella bizarre. And hella irrelevant. Sure enough, hand at the back of his neck, he looks away awkwardly, a stupid grin plastered on his face like his biggest crush wasn't about to ride him like a Harley.

Maybe that's a bad comparison?

"Guess you're better at poker than me, Rose," he laughs weakly. She still looks like she wants to jump him, but you note that she's given herself a tiny bit more space between them, as though she needs added distance to recompose herself. "We'll add it to the list," she says gravely, before leaning up to do her job. The kiss starts with her fluttery teasing thing, but John commits and Rose seems to melt up into him, a long and still smooch that draws catcalls and whistles from that loud blonde with the great rack - oh wait, that's just you, in the mirror - and some of the trolls. You think even Jade got in on that one, though she might still be trying to pretend she doesn't find anything interesting about John's Zillyhoo. If you can borrow him from Rose later, you think it might be worth finding out what precisely a Hammerkind Strife Specibus translates to in more intimate situations.

At the moment, however, the kiss is done, Rose drawing it out by pulling on his lower lip with her teeth. She bites slightly, drawing an "ow!", before giving him a quick butt squeeze and slipping back to her seat. John comes to sit next to you, bright scarlet, and you take the opportunity to get a much better look at the boy's skylark. Oh yeah, you could definitely think of some uses for that dick. You give him your best seductive grin, and you think his blush goes a little deeper. It might also be because someone's fingers are idly tracing on his thigh. Oddly, though, they're pale, not grey. Where's Vriska's attention, if not on her prized Human Boy Thing?

Ah, there she is, making out with Terezi. Her other hand is squeezing your leg, fingernails digging in hard enough to cause a bit of pain. Her gaze flicks back to John every so often and she blushes a deeper blue every time, like she thinks a show will catch his eye. Poor spidertroll, still riddled with hangups and inhibitions. If only there were some magic elixir that could smooth out some of those for her. Where would one even get such a thing, though? Questions for later. At the moment, you've got a cute guy to tease, some truly excellent boobage to ogle, and a poker showdown about to happen. Aradia has dealt, and Jane has already panicked and tossed all five cards back at her, apparently afraid to look at the replacements. Kanaya trades one, and Rose swaps two. Jane turns her cards over for the showdown with a flash of relief:

Jane has: Pair of Queens  
Kanaya has: Pair of tens  
Aradia and Rose have: Pair of Kings

Kanaya sighs deeply. "I would have to invoke my poor luck immediately prior to a decisive hand," she mutters. She's glaring at you now. What? You aren't doing anything. This manly thigh climbed under your fingers all on its own. It's not like you're sucking face with her partner or anything - like she'd even care. But wait... someone's trying to. When the goddamn did Vriska slip behind you to get all up on some Egbert? Cause that's where she is now, her breasts pressing into his arm, her fingers walking on nailpoints up his chest. John doesn't look like he knows what to do with himself - up to this point in the game, he's been part of a tag team where Vriska is concerned, and now his fly is the spider's sole interest.

"I can bite too, you know..." she's murmuring close to his ear. "I could find all sorts of fun places to bite." She flashes her fangs as she leans in, seeking a kiss, but John looks away awkwardly. 

"We could talk about it after the game," he stammers, his rigid boner proof that she's getting to him. A sharp twitch nudges it into her hand, causing her eyes to pop before she lets go, leaving only a single fingernail slowly tracing up the underside of his shaft. 

"I think you like that idea, John. I know I do. And I'm an eightspert at getting very very lucky." You can't help but notice that the way she's sitting, she's not showing anything. You know Vriska, for someone who joined in on this scheme to get into this exact position, you really didn't have a plan for when you got your way, did you? She does seem to be steeling herself to do something more, though... On the bright side, at least you understand Kanaya's glare now - there's no way she wants to see John and Vriska getting frisky. She clears her throat loudly, causing all three of you to jump, Vriska covering herself and John trying to ignore the sweat beading on his nose. John leaps out of Vriska's clutches (and let's be honest, yours too) and hurriedly goes over to his partner, though he looks more than a bit frazzled at this point. Whether that's from Vriska's pert bosom pressing into him as she proposed interesting activities for two, or your fingers nudging around more than their fair share of shaft and scrote, or just the prospect of having to unveil Kanaya's lady cave, you really couldn't say. One thing's for certain: you've been waiting for this since the cards tried to take her down an hour ago. Your lonely fingers dance downward to find themselves a familiar task. You plan to savor this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that only took me... forever to get back to.
> 
> I had this chapter written up twice back when I was originally posting the story. Both times it got devoured by a computer mishap. The results... well, anyone who follows this story knows that it just fell into stasis for over a year. It was hard to get the motivation back. I know my writing has probably changed in style somewhat, and I'm quite sure this was not the chapter as I'd originally envisioned it. Since I don't remember how it did go, though, we're stuck with this version. I hope you all enjoy it, and I'm hoping that the next one will be along sooner than not.
> 
> As always, comments are appreciated and helpful in reminding me that there are people out there who like this and want it to continue. Seeing the comments left on this story was a key motivator in getting me back on track. Thanks to everyone who wanted more for giving me the kick in the seat that I needed!


	36. A (Very Little) Bit Of Practice (Hand 50)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's lap becomes a battlefield as Karkat is silenced and practice is had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not satisfied with how this chapter turned out overall. I'm considering a rewrite. Comments if you have any.

You watch with amusement as John Egbert visibly grapples with the concept of how to remove Kanaya's panties - a far less challenging undergarment than previous ordeals in terms of technique, but so far this evening John hasn't had a chance yet to encounter a Sylph's Space. Or a Rogue's Void, some part of your brain grumbles darkly. Shut it, brain, we'll get to us later, you think to yourself. For the moment, you're amusing yourself with how the still-blushing Heir of Breath is gingerly putting his hands to Kanaya's waist, then mumbling to himself and adjusting the position of his hands. Kanaya is openly rolling her eyes at him even as she colors slightly, no doubt anticipating how very very naked she's about to be. Somebody loud pipes up from the wall - oh hey, and it isn't you!

"Sit down, Egbert. Kanaya's gotten enough bad luck from this stupid human flirtation fiasco, she doesn't need you trying to fucking finagle her modesty flap too," Karkat grouses at him, sounding both irate and... is that actual concern for someone else buried at the back of his bellyaching? Aww, you giggle inwardly, he must be a soft shell crab. Anything further that he might have wished to add turns into a surprised squawk as - yep, there it is. Jade and Feferi have decided to, uh, "silence" him, the former with a kiss and the latter teeeechnically doing the same but to a more interesting part of the anatomy. The mutant troll's eyes are wide and vaguely panicky as the girls quite thoroughly shut him up, seeming at a total loss for what to do with his hands. Probably his brain, too. Feferi takes a momentary pause from what she's doing to look up at the main event. "You can keep going now, John," she tells him. John's vivid blush and confused expression make you think he's not inclined to agree. 

Kanaya leans in close to him and starts whispering. You see confusion, uncertainty, agreement, and now he's whispering back. "GET ON WITH IT" roars a voice from the sidelines. Oh hey, still not you! No, this time the honor goes to Vriska Serket, your partner in crime once again showing how very interesting she finds the jadeblooded troll when there's a state of undress to be had. John still looks hesitant, but you see Kanaya's hand snake down and hear an "OW!" from John as she turns to face Rose, standing with her legs very slightly spread.

Ohh. 

Ohh you see where this is going. Yesss. Very yesss.

John steps behind Kanaya, hands to her hips, and gently begins to tug on each side of her jade panties, the soft material barely stretching to accommodate Kanaya's legs. She lifts one so that John can loop it off of her foot, then swings it down so that her legs are more fully parted. From what you can see, Kanaya has very neatly framed a kneeling John between her long, slender legs as he carefully slips the last of her garments from her other foot, giving you a PARTICULARLY INTERESTING rear view of the action. Those legs lead up to a shapely posterior that's as toned as you would like to think your own is (especially given the show you put on earlier) - taut, supple, and curved in just the right places - and John's behind is looking exceptionally firm and squeezable. Daughtermom has good taste. You idly hope that your alternate universe counterpart raised her to understand the MANY VIRTUES of sharing.

Speaking of daughtermom, her eyes are anything but unreadable as John and Kanaya turn and head toward the wall, the latter providing you with a glimpse of her trimmed black patch below as she strides with a strange confidence to park herself on the wall next to her partner. Rose is very obviously biting her lower lip, a gesture you recognize from SOME OTHER BLONDE CHICK shut up brain also check to see if we're doing that and maybe knock it off, it's rude to ogle.

Maybe.

Vriska is still out of position, interposed between you and all sorts of interesting daughtermom crush flesh. As she leans toward John, however, Kanaya hisses at her loud enough to make you jump. Vriska hisses back, and the next thing you know, Kanaya has pinned Vriska between John's legs and is leaning over him to make out with your partner, whose body language suggests she's pretty damn fine with being so very solidly owned. Poor John is still blushing a furious bright red as his partner and the girl who recently tried to climb him like an echeladder have feisty makeout time an inch from his friendly bits. There's obviously only one thing to do in this situation, your brain tells you.

Keep talking, brain, I like where your head's at.

You lean over the oblivious Vriska, chest out and eyelashes batting in a way that you hope is, on balance, more seductive than drunk. "Hey John, I shaw you picking up tipsh from Karkat on how to make out," you tease. "Wanna practishe?" You're extremely pleased to see a twitch from below. Screw Vriska and Kanaya (also, add that to your to-do list...), you're taking credit for that. John puts a hand behind his neck as he grins sheepishly. "I think I should probably wait for Rose. She said she likes me..." 

Bah. Daughtermom. What a cockblock.

"Oh, I don't know," says a dry voice with more than a hint of teasing. "I definitely think he could use some practice with what Lalondes enjoy. I don't think he fully picked up on all of 'the moves' during Karkat's tongue-lashing. Wouldn't you agree, Jane?" "Yes, Jake was much bettEEK NO!" your best friend squeaks, looking panicked. "Why did you have to remind me I kissed my... ecto... bio... HIM!" she babbles at Rose, who smiles slightly as she looks at John. "Well then, John, I think your kissing skills just got rated as 'Back to the Future.' One would hope you would endeavor to do more to justify your Oedipal activities." John looks agog as Aradia chimes in: "I mean, he was fine, but I was kind of expecting to be blown away and, well... are you sure he kisses well enough to raise a girl from the dead?" "Who knows?" Rose deadpans, "I'm operating on current evidence, and current evidence suggests that my ectobiological mom has her hands all over a very fine gentleman who could use a bit of education."

Yay! Daughtermom! What a wing-girl!

She locks eyes with you, and through the haze of alcohol and Rose's constant emotional veil, you see lightning dancing in her gaze.

"A very small bit of education," she restates blandly, every word like a gun pointed to your head. You nod slightly and lean your face into John's. 

"Y-you're very pretty, you know..." he stammers, but you and your co-conspirator Roxy's Brain have grown tired of how very few makeouts are happening right now and words are for people who THEEEEERE WE GO, and the eyes close, and now your senses are reduced to hearing cards dealt from somewhere far away, hearing someone who might be Vriska moaning in pleasure and dismay as she gasps for breath, hearing someone who makes you think of raspberries and burgundy asking for "three," hearing someone who reminds you of cake and pranks and softness and popsicle juice taking "two." They're sounds from somewhere else, someplace else, someplace less interesting than the smell and salt of a boy's sweat, the feel of chest hair tickling the tips of your bosom, a clumsy but careful hand pressing on the small of your back. Less interesting than the subtle spice of a troll girl's natural perfume as a more delicate hand traces up your arm, than the smoothness of a leg gliding over yours as someone crawls back where she belongs. Your tongue nudges out, less carefully than you might like, and finds a wall of enamel, two earnest and dorky guards who haven't gotten out of its path. You try again, feeling the edges and corners of teeth, something awakening to your careless wanderings to push back against you. You feel your own hand, pressing, kneading, stroking in secret folds.

If you reached out, maybe you could... OW WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT and the reverie breaks, leaving you looking at a frazzled John Egbert, mouth liberally coated with your personal brand of lipstick. How'd that get there? You don't remember having nearly enough awesome makeout time to do that much art damage to his face. And why does your boob hurt? Oh hey, fang marks! And there's Kanaya, looking overly innocent as she wipes at John's face with a discarded garment. You must have done a damn good job if he doesn't notice that his partner is scrubbing his mouth with discarded panties.

"I hope you learned something, John," Rose calls from the "circle." Kanaya grins slyly, exposing her fangs. "I promise you he did."

"I'm not sure I got it right," John says, grinning at you and blushing, only to OW as Kanaya flicks him somewhere painful again.

"Lessons have been learned," she reaffirms mock-seriously, nodding.

"Speaking of which," Aradia beams, "let's find out whether we've won!"

Aradia and Rose have: Pair of Queens  
Jane has: Set of tens

Jane looks relieved as Aradia sighs playfully. "I think I should be the one to lose," Rose volunteers a bit too eagerly, but Aradia won't let her fall upon John's sword that easily - and rock, paper, scissors will cheat your daughtermom out of an early defeat.

"You're lucky I didn't cheat," Rose grumbles, almost inaudibly. Aradia beams cheekily at her. "Don't feel bad, Rose! Now I get to make out with both of you!"

Yes, Aradia, you think to yourself, remembering your own all-too-brief encounter with the tall storm of hair and curves. Yes you do.

It's times like these you wish someone needed a little more practice.


End file.
